The Decisions We've Made

I've been wanting to write this for awhile but got sidelined. Always thought Ben/Adrian were the most underdog couple from any of my shows, but they worked… at least for the while they were together. I do not own Secrete Life. Song is "Nobody Else But You" from Empire. Please read and review!

Regret

Many years ago, two teens from completely different worlds forged a connection, an unbreakable bond that would change their lives forever… They fell in love but never fully developed out of it despite the circumstances and the twists and turns of life intervening, testing them and forcing them to part ways, then and even now.

Everyone has that defining moment in life. That one choice you have to make. I had my moment, and it has haunted me ever since. In those defining moments, you either pave a road to happiness or you regret every step from then on.

I was young and naïve, stupid and so fucking scared. Scared of being forced by dad to be someone I didn't want to be. Scared of making the wrong choice. Scared of making the right choice, or scared of not knowing the difference between the two.

It was easier to pretend. It was easier to pretend that she was still my girl and I was still her guy.

Pretending was better than knowing or accepting the truth…

We all play victim to our pasts; to the choices we make and the lives we create. They define who we are.

Flashback

She's putting on her pearl earrings when she glances at the mirror. She sees me staring at her. I must force myself to let her go completely, no matter the pain it is surely to inflict.

It was time to end this. For her. For me. For the both of us.

"This is killing me Adrian, but I know this is what's best."

"You are what's best for me." She replies meekly.

I snort in derision. "You don't know what you're talking about. I might be best for you for now… but soon you'll realize you settled. I'm holding you back, but you deserve more."

She doesn't say anything. That seemed to scare me.

After a moment though, she finds her voice: an angry one.

"Omar's lying!"

"Maybe…" I took a step back, holding a hand up to halt her. "But you didn't tell me the truth either.

"Did he tell you I regretted it the moment it happened? Did he tell you any of that?" I barely register the staccato of her heels clicking across the floor, culminating into a crescendo of our voices. She came to a halt as I pulled my messenger bag over my shoulder and reached the front door. And with that, all of my hopes were suddenly crushed. Or at least most of them. I would cling onto the smallest piece that was still left until I had actual confirmation.

What are you worrying for? I'm standing rooted to the spot while trying to open the door.

"No…" I shook my head and my sweaty hand reached for the door handle. "And neither did you." And then, without looking back, I walked out the door, shutting it behind me.

End Flashback

Last Night

"I looove you…" Adrian slurs.

"Not enough to recognize where we went wrong."

"I've never gotten over you… wish I had… but never did. I know I'm drunk but it doesn't matter. I'll still love you in the morning." After managing to finish that coherent sentence, she hiccups.

As I help her back to her bed, mere moments before she passes out, Adrian murmurs one last thought.

"Happy 1st Birthday, Mercy."

The Next Morning

I cared for Adrian throughout the night. Now that it was the next morning, I had to go. I've already overstayed my welcome.

I held my head against the door and turned the doorknob; I took a deep sigh.

"Did you mean it, Adrian?" I waited with bated breath.

I turned around and faced her. Adrian had tears brimming her eyes, and I was on the brink to unleash my own. That was my answer. I nod and give her a wry smile.

"That's good to know. Me too."

As I shut the door behind me, I leaned against the frame and rubbed my temples. I looked up at the clear blue skies and mentally wondered why this was happening to me… all over again.

Only did I know, Adrian did the same thing on the other side of the door.

There once was a girl, and I loved her. And for a few breaths, a few whispers, a few moments, I think she loved me, too.

Yeah you're, you're, you're
You're the type I think I can spend my life with (Alright)
I'm sure it's way more
More than something not just like for a night (Ooh boy)
And I cut them chicks off real quick
They ain't who I'm tryna deal with
You're the one I wanna chill with (Yeah)
You got something I can build with

You say you want me so show me you do, boy

I do
Tell me if it's really true
Yeah I don't want nobody else but you

I got what you've been feenin'

I don't want nobody else but you
Come show me if you mean it
I don't want nobody else but you