Dean's phone rang. He looked at the caller ID. He didn't recognize the number but he picked up anyway. What was the worst that could happen? He had nothing to lose. "Hello?"
"Dean, it's me," came Cas' voice.
"Hey, Cas." Dean said. "
You were right," Cas told him hastily. "The angel...Hael. She wasn't to be trusted. She's dead. I'm on my way to the bunker now. I think I'll be there in a day or two."
"Okay," came Dean's short reply.
"I just wanted to check in. Um...Sam...Is he-...how is he?" Cas asked. Dean was silent for a long time. "Dean?" Cas asked, fearing he knew the reason for Dean's silence.
"Yeah, um...Sam he uh-" Dean's voice cracked. "...he didn't make it." There was pain laced with every word. Dean was suffering.
Cas' heart dropped. One of his only friends, the man he considered a brother...was dead. He felt as if a house had suddenly been dropped on him and he was expected to carry it. Cas was numb. This was his first time feeling loss as a human and he didn't like it. He thought he understood what it was like to lose someone, but this was so different. Sam was the one who had believed in him when no one else did. Cas would be dead if it weren't for him. He just could not believe that after all the good that Sam Winchester had done, he had just dropped dead.
"Dean...I...I'm so sorry."
"Yeah..." was all Dean replied. Cas was not sure what to do in this situation. Did Dean want to talk? Did he want to be left alone? Did he want Cas there? Cas always had a hard time understanding human emotions but he was way out of his league. Cas knew how much Sam meant to Dean and now with Sam gone...dean would be broken. "Is...there anything you need me to do?" Dean paused.
"No..." he said hopelessly. "Not anymore."
"Do you want to talk?" Cas ventured.
"Not really, no." he told him. Cas sighed. What was he supposed to do?
"Dean. Sam, he...he's in a better place..."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"It was worth a shot."
"Okay, well thanks for cheering me up. I feel much better now." Cas recognized Dean's tone as sarcasm.
"I'm heading back to the bunker with...with Sam. I just...think he'd want to...y'know ...be there." Castiel could tell that Dean was struggling to get through every word, every breath, and every moment without Sam. Every second was a struggle for him.
"I understand," Cas said.
"Well thanks for checking in. I'll see you in a couple days." Dean told him. Cas could tell that Dean didn't want to talk anymore.
"I'll see you Dean." With that, Cas hung up the payphone.
He could hardly believe what Dean had told him. He was sure that stopping the trials, would fix Sam. He should have seen it all coming. He should have stopped Sam from doing the trials in the first place because from the second he killed that hound, he was a dead man. He would do anything to get Sam back. He missed his friend already. Cas being human, the angels falling, it all seemed so small compared to the death of Sam Winchester. Nothing else really mattered.
Above all, Castiel worried for Dean. Would he ever be able to move on, or would he just sink into nothingness? Would he find a way to keep fighting or would he try to take the easy way out by taking his own life? Humans were unpredictable. He had to get to Dean and make sure he didn't do anything stupid. He gathered his things and started heading for Kansas.