Sorry, I really like one-shots. Please be careful in case this may trigger you. I hope it wont but better to be safe than sorry. I hope you enjoy.
Sink or Swim?
Ginny sat alone on the tattered, old couch in the common room. She stared into the hot, crackling fire without blinking, as thought she was in another world. She had her knees hugged tightly to her aching chest. Her breathing was slightly heavy and her eyes were red, sore from endless cry. Now she felt numb. She felt nothing. She had seen to much. Felt too much. The pain was building. Piling up on each other. All resting upon the pin that was already there. The war was over. They had won. Everyone was down stairs celebrating. Celebrating the down fall of the Dark Lord. Celebrating Harry's victory. And most importantly, celebrating the life of those they had lost instead of dwelling on their deaths. But not Ginny. No. The noise consumed her ears, battling with her screaming thoughts. She needed to be alone.
Her mind raced. She couldn't think straight. She could hear screaming. Endless screaming. She could see blood and tears and bodies and fire. She could see war. She knew she would be haunted by these memories for as long as she lived. She shall never forget. There was something soothing about the fire that made her feel slightly calmer but not enough. She thought she wonted to be alone, away from her family, but she was wrong. She didn't know what she wanted. She never seem to know what she wanted these days. She could feel her self moving in an endless circle to a world unknown. That scared her.
A another tear began to trickle down her sickly pale cheek, the portrait of the fat lady swung open and an unknown person walked in. Their footsteps where slow, as though they were dragging their feet. Ginny didn't know what she would do. She didn't know whether to sit quietly and hope that they wont notice her or to run up to the girls dormitory. She did have time to do either as, whoever it was, walked towards her.
"Ginny!" It was Harry, "I've been looking for you for hours, I was so worri-" He stopped dead when he saw that she had not looked up from the blazing fire. He could see the fresh tears drying on her cheek. He could see the heavy bags under her eyes and how ghostly white her skin was. He was severely alarmed, "Ginny, what's wrong?" He looked rather frantic. She just shook her head.
How could he possibly understand? Yes, the war had effected them all but this was different. This had started even before the war. She could see him staring at her with those piercing green eyes. He looked so tired. She couldn't bare to look at him. She didn't want him to know how she was dying inside.
"Gin, come on, you can tell me. Maybe I can help?" Harry asked innocently, not taking his eyes off of her. "You left me! You left me when I needed you most. Just when I had mastered the courage to tell you that something was wrong; you left. I know you couldn't help it and that made it even worse. You may not of even come back and then who would I tell? I trust you Harry. I trust you more than anyone, I really do." She sank back into her seat, leaving Harry standing bewildered, shocked and even more worried than before.
He hadn't wanted to leave her. That was the last thing that he had wanted to do. Merlin, if it hadn't been so dangerous he would have taken her with him just to know that she was safe. He had missed her so much. This was the time he had seen her since he left. Although her body was skeleton like and slumped, her hair was messy and straw-like and her eyes were sunken; she was still beautiful in his eyes. Just like she always had been. He had watched her breathe heavily as she tried to calm down. He knelt down in front of her, taking her dainty hands in his. "Ginny. Tell me." This all he had to say for her to completely breakdown and start to tell him everything.
"It started a while ago. I'm not sure when but I had started having the nightmares, you know, about the chamber. Soon that was all I was seeing. I tried to stop sleeping to see if they would go away. It just made it worse. I used to wake up screaming. And I would her things. In my head. All the things Tom had said to me. How I was a stupid little girl. I guess it just started to take it's toll." She took a shaking breath and looked into the fire once more, "I didn't want to be here. I couldn't face the thought of sleeping each night for fear of waking up. I didn't want to live. I couldn't eat but I was never hungry. I knew one would understand. I just blamed it on the war, it seemed like a suitable excuse. I was always tired. The amount of times I was sent to Madam Pomfrey when I got here was just astonishing. I never told her either. It wont go away. The voices. The sadness. You were the only person I trusted enough to tell but you weren't here. I love you. And that is what scares me. I hurt so many people when got involve with Tom and I didn't want to hurt you. You made me happier than I have ever been. I didn't feel that I deserved that because that's what Tom had told me. He told me I didn't deserve happiness. I knew that if I was happy, I would soon destroy it. Nothing good laughs. I was just...too happy, you know? It's hard to explain. But that is why I pushed you away when really you were the only person I wanted. The only person I needed. But then you left and I was alone with my thoughts. They were killing me. I found it hard to feel anything but the intense sadness I had felt for so long. You were the only thing that made me feel okay. I guess you could say I have depression. The only time my smile was real was when I was with you. Even the twins couldn't make me laugh any more. Oh, Fred. I miss him already. Must be had on Mum. She probably needs me. And George. I need to keep them together. But how am I supposed to do that if I can't even keep myself together."
Harry took it all in, tears filling his eyes. He stood up and sat next to her, pulling her into his lap. She lent her head on his chest, crying so much that she was soaking his shirt while he stroked her auburn hair. "Shh, it's okay. It's going to be okay. I'm here. You don't have to be alone. I love you no matter what. Whatever you need, I'll be there."
"Will it be okay though? I feel like I'm drowning but there is no water. I'm in this deep sea of depression and I can either sink or learn to swim. And that the moment, I'm sinking." She lifted her hand to wipe her streaming eyes. Her sleeve slipped down a little to reveal a deep looking cut, bleeding vertically from her pale wrist. She tried to cover it quickly but Harry had seen.
"Oh Ginny..." He sighed, hugging her tighter, kissing the top of her hair.
"I'm so sorry Harry. I tried. I tried to stay strong but I just couldn't. I couldn't do it any more. I didn't want to be here." She sobbed.
"Shh, it's okay. You'll learn to swim. We'll learn to swim. We'll et through this together. I promise." He lifted her chin and looked into her reddening eyes. Tears had also leaked down his cheeks. He kissed her softly but with more meaning than words could say. And with love. A love so strong it could get through even the darkest of laid her head back on his chest and fell asleep as he petted her hair. He soon drifted off, still holder her close. She could feel his heart beating with him chest. The heart that beats only for her. They fire crackled as they slept, making the room cosy and warm. They forgot all tragedy that night. Everyone was still celebrating downstairs but all that matter was them and now. That meant more than any party. They ad love. A love can conquer all obsticals that could be placed in it's path.