Okay, no harping on me, because this is my first fic. The only reason I uploaded this is because I was testing something. But anyways it's a bit OOC FYI.

Uhm so yeah, there's a slight UnohanaXZaraki.

Disclaimer: Okay I don't own Bleach or any contents. I if I did, Hitsugaya wouldn't have feelings for Hinamori, and Mayuri would be a little less angry.

Plus, he'd have a love life and wouldn't be so ugly. I would also be driving a Porche.

It was peaceful for all of one minute in the Twelth Division H.Q. Captain Mayuri was yelling at his vice-captain, "Dammit Nemu! I don't need any Happy Pills!!" Mayuri threw the bottle of Happy Pills at his vice-captain. "But Captain, you're always so uptight you need to unwind a bit." She placed the bottle of Happy Pills on his desk.

"It was Captain Unohana that suggested them." At that being said he perked up, "Well if she insisted,I'll take one. Now get out of my office, your only an annoyance. Sometimes I regret making you."

"Well if Miss Unohana wants me to take these, then I might have a chance with her." Mayuri thought. Looking at the bottle which had a smile on it and above the smile "Happy Pills." He took one.

After he took the pill, Mayuri slouched back in his chair, "Wicked." Lazily, he got up and walked down the hallway passing by his vice-captain.

"Captain!" She exclaimed. "Sweet, sweet Nemu, relax this Captain has gone from uptight to cool and slow."

Nemu smiled at her captain, "So that means we can have a party?" Suddenly Mayuri started squealing like a girl, jumping up and down. " Like, hell yeah!" Nemu started to shudder. "Uhm okay then...I'll go invite some people."

Mayuri was having sporadic mood changes. One minute he had queer-esque tone lacing his words and in another his head was spinning off. But the most scary mood change was when he had a giant smile from ear to ear on his face. He looked like the offspring of a clown.

The night of the party, Unohana, Zaraki Kenpachi, Rukia Kuckiki, Rangiku and all the other vice-captains.

The party went on for like what seemed like days. Everyone one stoned from sucking down Sake.

Mayuri walked over to a drunken Unohana asking if she wanted to ask, "Unohana do you want to da-"

He was cut off when suddenly Zaraki Kenpachi came out of nowhere and started to make out with Unohana.

Mayuri sighed thinking,"I will never have a chance with her, even on these Happy Pills.."

Nemu waked up to her captain sighing," You can create me, but can't have a love life? Your one sad person." She patted her captain's back and walked off.

"I give up, on ever being with her." He sighed and walked away.

Okay please review, and yes I know it was hell of short. XDD Feel free to flame...a little.