What does April mean to Raphael? Is it possible to love someone and hate them at the same time, for totally different reasons?
Does he lust for her sexually? Or is it more than that? Is it that at all?
Can pain come from her affection? And more importantly, what kind of pain?
What does she represent to him?
How thin is the thread of trust that holds two friends together? Could you forgive?
Credits: Inspired in a roundabout way by Midnightheir, who is never afraid to delve into the deep, dark depths of the turtles. Also to sss979 – her personality profiles, and the sum total of her work. She shows us that the possibilities are endless. And finally, thank you to the ever so talented Dierdre for the beta. You're help was greatly appreciated.
"The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible" – Unknown (originally found on Pacphys bio page)
-Please be aware of controversial content-
SHATTERED
Is tonight any different, the emptiness I feel?
Maybe it's the way you dressed
The sound of your voice
Or the way you're pulling me back from the void
I thought that you could be my savior
Angelic grace to wash over my soul
But instead your heat only lighted my fire
Consuming my heart in flames
So naïve, your arms curl around my neck
The sadness in my eyes, you pretend its not there
You try to kiss the past and make it better
But you can't erase the pain from your affection
Because of you, I saw what I didn't have
Felt what I shouldn't have felt
Wanted what could never happen
Died a little with every moment
Imagined music, your figure starts to bend
Begging me to play with you
This innocent, careful game of yours
How it hurts when you take it back again
Do I love you?
I ache for every inch of you, your touch and your kiss
My breath would escape me for you
But can you love the one that kills you everyday?
All you do is live for now
I drink in your scent, run my hands across your waist
So seductive, rhythm takes over
Our friendship is blurring as I cross the line
Can a heart break that was never whole to begin with?
You'll never be enough
But still more than I can handle
How do I keep you from taking over me?
I feel myself giving up on me
Every muscle focusing down on you
Hurt, anger, rage, quaking through the surface
Wish I had the strength to walk away
We've been heading on a collision course
It's finally too late, and I can't stop
I've always blamed you for this dangerous game
Having given me a glimpse of paradise
Holding you close, pushing you down
I hear you whimper my name
The tears run down and stain your cheeks
You've driven me to a place where I don't care
Fire behind my eyes, madness in my heart
Can you feel it surging through me?
I hate you for bringing me up too high
I can't stand the possibility of falling tonight
My body takes over, I can hear your gasping breath
I'm lost at a point between desire and insanity
I feel your fear as your body trembles
But never once do you try to scream
Do I hate you?
A part of me always has, always will
You've show me pieces of what I want to be
Parts of my puzzle eternally incomplete
Your form so small beneath my chest
Still holding you down, but you've stopped fighting
Face turned away, unwilling to see me
Refusing to wake up to a nightmare
Confusion, grief swallowed me whole
What made me surrender tonight?
The dam inside me finally broken
Just once to feel your freedom
I see the bruise on your face, blood on your lips
My hands are still tangled in your hair
Expressionless eyes stare into the darkness
They show me what I've stolen from you
Heaven crashed down on me tonight
I lost everything that I never had to begin with
And because I fell
Both of us are shattered
…and finally, I hear you scream
Author's note:
Absolute? Definitely not.
Outrageous? Probably.
Possible? I think that is part of what makes it so disturbing.
In all honesty, I don't think that this would ever happen. But part of what makes writing an artistry is that it allows our minds to run rampant with "what ifs."
I'm fully prepared to take flack for this, so please review, even if it's to throw flames. I'd love to hear your opinion. All types of feedback can make a writer better.
And for those of you that are waiting – the Plague is coming…