BIG FREAKIN' DISCLAIMER: Hello, folks! T.R. Fanatic speaking, I mean, writing. While I may not be Koshi Rikdo and may not own Excel Saga, Noir and/or the characters of that afomentioned titles, I do have the freedom (and power! TONS and TONS of POWER! MWAHAHA!) to turn it into a:
Work of fanfiction!
Not just any fanfiction, mind you. But, a:
Cross-over Fanfiction!
But, it's better than a cross-over fanfic! It's the:
Excel Multi-Cross-Over Fanfic From Hell
(da da daaah!)
by: T.R. Fanatic
(da daaaah!)
Episode one (...of many, hopefully): The Blinding Light of Darkness
Chapter 1: ...Wait, this is the Prolouge! Dammit!
A long time ago in an anime series far, far away... Okay, it was after the end of Noir. Y'know, that part after Kirika accidentally kills Chloe and I've just spoiled the ending for you! AAAHHH! (I hope you're not mad at me...)
Well, anyway, we set the stage on... Space? What th' hell? And why is Chloe floating by? (Who's writing and who's the one being random? Are they the same person? This is not the time to talk about it!)
"And you had such a strong fan-base, too..." Great Will of the Macrocosm continued. (...From what?)
Chloe shrugged. "Yeah," she agreed. "sucks, don't it?"
"But, do not worry. I shall revive you with my great power. Here we go!"
And with that weird revival noise and a change of scene, we now find our cloak-clad ...um, "heroine" inside her home know only as... (drumroll) The Manor. (That's it!) Global location: God only knows... oh, wait here it is: on the border of Spain and France! (Don't give it away!)
"You're a good little sapling to rise from the dead." Chloe's guardian/mother-like figure, Altena, cheered.
Chloe nodded in reply. "Of course I am!" She added a salute. "Hail, Mistress Altena!"
Altena went into a coughing fit, hiding her statement: "Wrong anime! They haven't come to corrupt this world just yet!"
"What?"
"Oh, it's nothing, child. Now, here's your new assignment." She handed a paper to Chloe.
In response, Chloe read the paper... turned it upside down... flippped it over, then back again. "It looks like a dog wrote it!" she remarked.
"She did!" Altena replied. "The client is a dog who has been threatened multiple times by a young woman that wants to eat her." She showed picture of a young woman who is trying to make a funny face while trying to hide her look of severe hunger. "Her name is Excel Excel of the Secret Ideological Organization ACROSS, stationed in F City."
"How can you even read that?" a curious Chloe asked.
"I've been learning how speak Dog ever since you died. Now, run along, child! You're killing too much killing time for a prodigcal child assassin like you!"
Chloe frowned. "Yes ma'am." She turned and walked away, deep in thought. I die, get revived by a space-thingy with arms...
Just then, the Great Will flies by...
...And then, get a new assignment. Am I ever going to get a break?
A blue decision box opened up before Chloe with the three choices of: no, NO! or HELL NO! The pig-cursor, having a Master's Degree in decision-making, selected HELL NO!
Chloe stopped in her tracks. "That's just what I thought!" she stated.
Chapter 1: ...Wait, this is the Prolouge! Dammit!
Today's mini-experiment... failed.
A clip from the next exciting chapter:
Ilpalazzo gazed at his stopwatch. "Twenty-nine seconds..." he muttered. "a new record!"
(End clip)
T.R.: See, fanfic admin? I'm working on revamping it! (The sound of hammers and drills can be heard in the background.) I was going to delete it personally, but this was easier... (and less painful on me and the readers.)