She used to love me. I used to be her special bear. But then she grew up. She got older. And she forgot about me. She became obsessed with all things grim and broody, and she kicked me to the curb. She never spoke to me anymore, and she denied that she ever even knew me. And I hated her for it. But can you blame me? We used to be besties! BFFs! Then boom! A whole life of love and laughter, wiped away in the blink of a purple-shaded eye. I was crushed. Devastated! And I vowed from that day forward to never ever love Dawn Crumhorn again. I would never forgive her for trying to get rid of me. She wasn't just erasing me from her present or her future either, she was trying to erase me from her very past as well. Well! Two could play at that game! Right?
So for about a month, I began my own reign of terror, turning stuffed toys all across London into my new army of loyal friends. They would never desert me as Dawn had, and their own owners would never get the chance to break their hearts the way mine had been. And I hated Dawn. Well and truly I did. Just thinking about her set my teeth on edge and made me want to tear up Big Ben by its very foundation! She was dead to me, just another enemy to conquer! Or so I thought.
But then she finally did come to visit me, actively seeking me out after that long month of pain and neglect. I remember seeing her there, standing on that foggy London bridge. I remember seeing her gothic, ethereal aura glowing as she approached me, walking slowly across the pavement. Her new black heels clacked audibly against the stones as she drew ever closer to me once again. Even though she was cloaked in darkness and mist, she was still the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. Even in anger, she was my princess. Even in anger, she was a beauty. Even in anger, I still loved her. I think. Maybe I had not forgotten about my beloved Dawn as much as I had thought, or hoped.
Even in times like that, I still wanted so desperately for her to take me in her arms again and to love me once more. Seeing her there, then, standing upon that bridge and walking towards me again after so long was like a dream come true! Her black dress fit perfectly with the fog, her hair was beautiful and soft, combed delicately over her bright purple eyes. How could I have ever thought she was ugly? Even for a single second? Did she know how beautiful I thought she was? I hope so.
"Dawn!" I hadn't meant to, it had been entirely out of my control, sheer muscle-memory alone, but I cried out to her anyway. The joy in my voice was palpable as I shouted her name, so sweet on my tongue after a month of silence and anger. I even reached out to her, hopeful and happy again, disbelieving that she had really come back for me, yet hopeful all the same. Just for a split second, everything was going to be ok. Just for a split second, everything was going to go back to normal, and all would be well again!
But split seconds do not last long, and all she needed to do was take one more step and I remembered who it was that I was talking to.
"Hmph! Hello. You look... whatever," I crossed my arms and turned up my nose disdainfully, the same way she'd done to me many times over in these past few weeks. I could hear her snarl and growl, all the way from across the bridge. It brought me a grim satisfaction to know that my biting comment had gotten underneath her pale, ghostly skin. Good riddance! I hoped her hair would get split ends from this fog!
But then, she apologized. It didn't sound very genuine, but I was so amazed and touched to hear her even try and apologize at all that, for a split second, I was willing to let my doubts go and forgive her. Until I got an idea to test the sincerity of her apology.
"Ok," I said. "I'll send the toys home... But only if you say... 'pretty please'!" there was a sing-songy note to my tone as I made this request of her. But it had to be done! I needed to know whether or not she was really sorry, and this was the best way to do it. Unfortunately, my doubts proved correct. Her apology had all been fake, scripted by someone else. My attempt to goad her into saying "pretty please" made that fact painfully clear. At the prospect of having to say something so... girly and immature, she blew up. Literally. Half the bridge upon which we were standing was blasted to smithereens in an explosion of sheer dark, angsty-teen energy. That was when I saw him, standing behind one of the pillars of the bridge.
"Danger Mouse!" I called him out quickly, narrowing my beady little button eyes at him. "What is this?" but it was Dawn who answered.
"Ugh! You're such a baby toy! I don't want you back! I don't even care if I never see you again!" she huffed, impatient with the proceedings. She crossed her black-clad arms over her black-clad chest with another harrumph before sticking her pointy little nose high in the air. Anger and grief pierced my stuffed heart as I realized that I was no closer to having my precious little Dawn back than I was before I came to the bridge. But I could not let her see how much those words hurt me, so instead, I took to the skies, vowing my revenge.
But love is a hard thing to erase, especially when it is so genuine, as mine was. We engaged in one last fight, Dawn and I, and it took place in London's skies. I was clinging to Big Ben with my army of plush toys wreaking havoc down below. Dawn was swooping and soaring through the blood-colored clouds, angsty goth teen powers in overload. Back and forth we traded blows and insults, pink and black. We turned half the city into a goth-teen's fever-dream and the other half into a plushy pink princess paradise. But then the battle came to an abrupt halt as I suffered yet another unwilling change of heart.
Danger Mouse had tried to talk us down from our squabbles, but we would not listen. Instead, Dawn and I continued our battle. At one point, she released another bolt of black energy and it struck Big Ben. One of my teddy bear soldiers was shaken off the clock by the blow and as he plummeted, Danger Mouse's little hamster sidekick hopped right out of their hover car and after the falling bear.
"BERNARD!" the little hamster shrieked as he fell, having jumped from 300 feet in the air (we were all fighting around Big Ben's face, remember).
"PENFOLD!" a split second later, Danger Mouse had echoed the hamster's cry and mirrored his actions, throwing himself out of the hover car as well with the same lack of hesitation and self-preservation that Penfold had shown just a split second prior.
What differed between Danger Mouse and Penfold's fall happened in the next split second. While Penfold made a smooth shot downward after Bernard, Danger Mouse accidently crashed into Dawn as he fell. The blow from his body to hers disoriented her and I heard her yelp in pain as they collided, then I saw her go spiraling out of control, headed right for the pavement, just like the other three. In that final split second, my heart changed one last time, and this time, it changed for good.
As I watched Dawn fall, her terrified and injured screaming echoing in my fluffy ears, I could only stare in horror. She was falling, faster and faster, farther and farther. Faster towards the ground and farther away from me. I could see her limbs flail as she tried and failed to regain control over her flight powers. She only continued to drop. My mouth opened in terror and horror and I reached out to her one last time.
"Dawn!" I screamed, but this time, there was no hope or happiness in my voice, only fear and agony. I wasn't even thinking as I took my own jump off the side of Big Ben. I slipped down the clock's side by about 200 feet and managed to stretch out my big pink paw and snag Dawn right before she hit the pavement. I gasped in relief as I watched her crash into my soft paw and then dangle there, shaking like a leaf. Poor, sweet, innocent little Dawn. I still loved her so dearly and deeply, and I had nearly lost her forever...
Penfold and Danger Mouse had parachutes tucked away in their backs, allowing them to land safely before hitting the concrete. My Dawn would not have been so lucky. She would've died. My Dawn would've been forced away from this world forever, cut down far too soon and far too young. Teenager or not, she was still only a child. And she was mine. My princess...
I was dimly aware of Penfold and Bernard making peace below. Seeing Penfold willingly allowing Bernard the chance to leave him forever with no resistance or bitterness tugged at my heart strings, but seeing Bernard refuse the offer and instead return to Penfold's arms was what broke them. I wanted nothing more than to keep Dawn all for myself forever, but seeing that little display down below reminded me of one bitter and painful truth, the truth that I had not wanted to accept, or even acknowledge, until now: that Dawn would not remain a child forever. Whether it be sooner, or later, Dawn would grow up one day, and when that day came, it would well and truly be time for her to put old and childish things away. That had been the true cause of our falling out. It wasn't due to some petty squabbling or stupid argument, because we never really got into those types of things. The real cause of our spat had been our own divided opinions as Dawn began to grow up...
For the past month, Dawn had continually insisted that she was getting too old for stuffed toys like me, and I had not wanted to accept her words as anything other than mean-spirited and untrue. But seeing Penfold and Bernard down below, and realizing how close I had come to losing my oldest and closest friend, made me realize that Dawn was right all along. When she said she was growing up, and outgrowing me, that had not been a lie or insult, just the cold, hard truth. I had only ever been too foolish and selfish to see it before. Now I realized that it was I who was the true monster. It was I who was at fault, not Dawn. I just could not bear the thought of parting with her, but it was no fault of her own! I took all of my anger out on her, and that was a huge mistake on my part. It had nearly cost us our friendship, and then it had nearly cost her her life, and that was something nothing could ever be worth.
So, if my love for Dawn really was as pure and strong as I liked to think it was, then I had to be willing to let her go, no matter the cost to me. Bernard and Penfold had taught me that today, even if they didn't even realize it. If I really loved my princess, then I would have to let her go to grow up to be a queen, even if I could not be there to be her king...
Without even really meaning to, I cried out in anguish to Dawn, who was still gripping my paw like a lifeline (or was I gripping her?).
"I'm sorry I was so angry!" I sobbed to her, trying to explain through my guilt and grief how sorry I was that I had not been a better friend to her. I should've supported her from the start. It was all my fault for failing to do that!
"I'm sorry!" I repeated, but that was when she cut me off and, to my amazement, she echoed my sentiment. Her own purple eyes were full of tears.
"Me too!" she shouted back up at me. Then, like a monkey, and without any hesitation at all, she vaulted right back up my giant arm until she was resting upon my shoulder, face nestled deep within my neck as she embraced me like her life depended upon it.
"Oh!" I heard her sob, and I could feel her tears dampening my fur. I had never been so happy before in my entire life.
For a moment, Dawn and I remained in that embrace, Dawn sniffling into my furry neck while I held onto her back and sniffled as well. Then I gently lifted her up to my head where her favorite tiara rested. I had taken it from her after she tried to throw it away at the start of her goth phase. It had been the last little piece of her that I'd had left during that dark and terrible time of our separation. She took it willingly and happily, transferring it from my head to hers. She smiled as she adjusted it, purple eyes shining with love for me.
Suddenly, then, in a flash of pink light, Dark Dawn had gone, and only my precious little princess remained. All of the blackness was gone, replaced once more by pink. Her hair was no longer long and straight, covering up one eye. It was short and curly again, the color of lavender. And her eyes had gone from that haunting purple to their typical black once again. I gasped in pure delight before snuggling her once again, drawing her closer to me for a second time and squeezing her as tightly as I could. She hugged me back just as hard. I really had never been so happy before! She smiled up at me with more love and joy in that one look than I had seen in all of her during that whole previous month of her goth phase and she gave me a laugh that, for once, was not one of scorn or derision, but rather, of genuine joy and relief. I echoed the sound, infinitely grateful to have her back. Dark Dawn, in all her broody, shadowy ways was gone, and my sweet little ball of light and laughter was back.
In that moment, then, I understood. Yes, some day, Dawn would grow up. And yes, some day, she would be too old for creatures like me. But even when that day came, that did not automatically mean that she had to give me up, or intentionally leave me behind, or actively stop loving me. Just because she outgrew me did not mean she could not love me. Seeing her finding it within herself to return to her princess side made me realize that. Yes, she was still growing up, and yes, you could still see the teenager features that she now carried, but that youthful and innocent sweetness had also restored itself to her and it appeared that it could coexist with those teen-ly features. Just because she grew up didn't mean she had to grow out. She could maintain her childishness and playfulness while she grew up. The two were not mutually exclusive. Seeing her smile up at me again, returned to her princess-y ways even after going through her goth phase, made me realize this. She had come back from that goth phase stronger than she went in, and she had come out capable of finding the little girl that she used to be. She was still my Dawn, my princess.
So yes, someday, my little Dawn would grow up and burn far brighter than the sunrises for which she was named. But even after her dawn had come and risen, she could still be my friend. Time did not have to change that. So I would be able to keep my Dawn, so long as she desired to keep me. I was a fool for thinking anything else.
I hugged her once more, then we went soaring away together over London's skies. With our spat over, they had returned to their typical, beautiful shade of azure. The blood-red clouds were fluffy white again, like cotton candy. And as she and I flew along together, homeward bound, a trail of rainbows followed after us, illuminating the sky with all the most beautiful colors of the known universe. We were together again, just like we were meant to be, and all was right with the world once more.
"I love you, Dawn."
"I love you too, Mr. Snuggles."
My sweet, little princess, though I could still see it in her face that she was still very much a maturing young lady, had been returned to me, and this time, she was here to stay. I was the happiest bear in the universe!
AN: This may seem like a weird fanfic, but I honestly enjoyed the episode "Dark Dawn" so much that I had to write some story for it. I love the relationships between Dawn and Snuggles (and I do NOT see it as romantic, just to let you all know).
My favorite part is honestly the Big Ben battle bit because if you notice, Snuggles doesn't do a thing when Penfold jumps after Bernard, but the moment DM slams into Dawn and accidently threatens her life, Snuggles immediately reaches out to catch them. It just goes to show that as mad as Snuggles may be at Dawn, all that needs to happen is for her to be in danger and he'll immediately snap out of it to save her, and if that isn't adorable, IDK what is! (TBH, this whole episode has some huge "Toy Story" vibes).