Yoooo, dis is de tryhaard fan fic. I ownz nuffin ov de Twilighz seriz and I hope yuuh alls likez ma storiesz. Alritezz, I willz stop writng now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Da squigglw wormz.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wuz walkn around the schul groinds, feeln like a super cool gurl with ma long brown hair and ma hugeass eyebaalz. They wre brown annd they wuz so big they looked all doeyz. I though they wuz gawjuz tho.
"Yoo! Ma name iz Jessica, I forgutz ma last names. Oooh wait, Stnaley. Das it, soo, ya new here? Noobieeeez! Hahaaaa!" I felt ma heart breaakz at the thought of nuhonez liking me. She wuz all in ma face, UP IN MA FACEZ. STUPID STANLEZ BITCH. I WANTED TO JMUP ON HERT AND SCRTACH HER EYEBALLZ OUT.
"Your mumz is a slutt!" I shoutz, her face goezz all squishy and I touché her cheek and ma fingaz go somenwere. I felt ma hand being eten and I squealed, pullin ma fingers out and watchin dem flaop around likez dey werez some boneless musclez!
I sashayed offz like the gawjuzz doeey gurl I ams. Her stupid eyeballz were tiniez ! Mine were hugemongous compard to hers.
"Yo! Ma name iz Edward, I amz a vampire, I like to sniff that –" He stopz and sudden;y his nose was on my neckz, sniffin it like dey waz no tomorrow.
"You stalker!" I screamed, slapping himz and crying on the floor, somehowzz I brokez ma hand. The waayz ist was on ma wrist it feelt like it was a boneless musclezz!
"Im gonn eat yoooou!" I screamed and he sniffed my buttz then ran awaaz wiff his bronze hair trailing behind him in hizz mess.
"wAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"