So, you guessed it, for all my Apocalypse Fans out there.

This is Benjamin and Laufeia's first meeting. Don't know if I did it much justice, but I think I did alright. Anyway, read and review, and I don't own Beetlejuice, or Betelgeuse, or any of that. I own Benjamin(my Beej's backstory), Laufeia, and Mole, and all the other characters I made up in the other stories.

I know I have two other stories to be working on... but I am so stuck it is almost funny.

So... if anyone has any ideas...

She wasn't like the other night-walkers he usually ran into.

She was clean and neat and smelt of scented oils. She had the best pair of knockers he'd seen on a back-alley night walker in a long time and curves in all the right places. Her legs went on for miles in all their pale-olive glory. Curly hair cascaded down her back from the elegant knot at the back of her neck.

What really grabbed him was that face.

That cliché… most beautiful… the face of an angel.

The candles cast the smoky bar in a dim light, hiding the sneaky glances the poker players were throwing one another. The room reeked of cheap whiskey and cigars and unwashed deviants.

Benjamin kicked his feet up on the table and leaned his chair back, scanning the crowd. "So whadja hear?"

The man beside him was tall and broad-shouldered. His face was hard, and looked like an angry tree stump. His greasy red hair was held back by a leather band and he was dressed in a simple tunic and breeches. "Nothin' o' great valuah. M'sociates bin trailin' the good doctah night'n'day. 'E met with o' couple'a shady brutes, but seems like 'e jus' re-stocked 'is opium."

"Hmm. Migh' be a way in." Benjamin mused. "Piergo owes me a few favors."

Mole grimaced at his empty tankard and held it out towards Benjamin. "Buy me ano'her drink."

Ben snorted. "Piss off, I can' jus' shit money ya kn-" The dirty blonde froze, his eyes growing steadily wider and rounder as a pair of legs that could make even the most refine man drown in his own drool made their way through the crowd.

The owner of the legs scanned the crowd uninterestedly, puffing out a cloud of smoke as she sucked on the cigarette in her hand. Benjamin swore under his breath and elbowed his companion. "Hey, check out the babe over there." He murmured.

Mole glanced at the woman and smirked. "Damn. S'one fine whore…"

Benjamin frowned. "No way a woman like that's a whore. Some lucky bastard snapped her up…"

The night walker suddenly glanced in their direction and let a devious little smile pull at her lips. She turned and sauntered over to them, her hips swaying in a way that promised all sorts of inappropriate things. "Hello gentlemen." The thick Italian accent washed over the men, making them temporarily stupid. "Are we lonely over here?"

Mole grinned and leaned back in his chair, inviting her to sit in his lap. "Maybe a bit."

Ben's eyes bore into the woman, tracing over every curve, devouring her with his eyes. She was the most gorgeous night walker he'd ever set eyes on. "Fancy a drink Babes?"

The woman smirked at him and slid into the open seat, ignoring the proffered one on Mole's lap. "I appreciate the offer, but the booze here… it is…"

"Shit." Ben finished, gulping down the rest in his tank. "What brings ya ta our table Babes?"

The woman chuckled quietly, gesturing towards Ben with an airy wave of her hand. "You have money, don't you?"

Ben snickered, glancing sideways at Mole. "Don't ya got somewhere ta be?"

Mole sighed. "Oi, I scrounge these streets fer ya, an' wot do I get? No drink and snubbed by ya an' yer whore."

"We'll talk later." Ben grinned. When Mole stood and moved away, grumbling about Benjamin and his constant good luck, Ben turned to smirk at the vixen sitting across from him. "So wot makes ya think I got enough money fer a gem like ya?" He asked.

The woman chuckled again. "Your clothes, firstly." She told him, smiling as he frowned down at himself. "They aren't flashy, but they're new. Your gloves are real leather, as are your boots." She gestured around them. "You are sitting in the back, in a corner, talking to a shady wag who can't afford his own drinks." She leaned back in the chair, grinning deviously as a cocky leer found its way onto Ben's face. "Does that answer your question?"

Ben laughed and righted his chair, leaning across the table to leer at her. "How much Babes?"

She pulled him into the room by the collar of his shirt.

Their lips mashed together, trying to force one another into submission as they stumbled back towards the bed.

He lowered her onto the ancient mattress, kicking off his boots as he climbed over her, dragging up her skirts and tasting her as he went.

"How'd such a gem like ya get wrapped up in shit like this?" He growled against her throat. "Yer too pretty ta not'a been snatched up."

The woman snorted and began her work on his vest. "Looks get you only so far." She suddenly dug her claws into his shoulders and rolled them over, pinning him against the mattress. "The world is run by class, Master Matthieu. You have to be born into good luck and fortune, and I was not." She pushed his vest open and slowly began working on the buttons, that devious smirk still painted across her features. "Only the weak-minded hold onto the hope that they can claw their way up in society."

"How bleak o' ya." He grinned, lifting his hand to relieve her of her blouse and corset.

The woman chuckled and leaned down to nip at his exposed throat. "Are you paying me to discuss politics now, Master Matthieu?"

Ben grinned as her hands slid to his trousers and began to work at them. "Nope."

She rolled off him, finally.

He wasn't exactly bad-looking, but he wasn't easy on the eyes. He reeked of a man who didn't care for bathwater, or couldn't afford it. His teeth were crooked and yellow, his skin was sickly pale, and he had a lewd, cocky aura about him.

But he was charming, and attractive in his own way, she thought as she rolled off him to fetch the bottle of whiskey. He was… interesting.

Too bad he was going to have to die.

She tipped the contents of the packet into the bottle as he sighed from the mattress, folding his arms behind his head as he stared bleakly at the ceiling. She watched him from the corner of her eye, wondering what the hell he would have to be even remotely upset about. "Is something wrong, Master Matthieu?"

Ben shrugged and extracted a hand from behind his head to scratch his beer-swollen gut. "Not really."

The woman crossed the floor again, a pint in each hand as she crawled back up onto the bed to straddle him. "Oh come now Master Matthieu, surely my ears are good enough to hear your woes?"

Ben smirked and accepted the pint, resting it on his stomach as he admired her naked form. "Gotta lotta things on m'mind s'all. And ya can stop callin' me 'Master'. I ain' yer Master. Just call me Matthieu."

The woman smirked and held the tankard to her lips, pretending to sip it. "Very well, Matthieu."

Ben chuckled and lifted the tankard to his lips, ready to take a deep swig when he felt her thighs tense infinitesimally around his hips. His eyes darted to hers and he caught a slight darkening of her expression.

He gave her a narrow-eyed smile and lowered the pint. "Tell me something Babes."

"Hmm?"

He sat up so they were almost touching noses, still grinning. "Are ya tryin' ta kill me?"

The woman's eyes were wide with shock as she leaned away from him and gasped. "How could you accuse me of such a thing?" She demanded.

Ben let out a dark chuckle and leaned closer, lifting the pint between them. "Then drink this, and drink deep. Prove me a jackass." He hissed.

The woman stared at him, stunned speechless by her shock as she stared into his face.

It lasted only a second though, before her expression turned to a snarl and she shoved him onto his back. Her hand dove beneath the pillows and he felt the cold iron of her dagger bite against the flesh of his throat. "Pig! How did you figure it out?"

Ben shot her that cocky leer as she pressed the blade into his neck. "You were holdin' the drink ta yer lips way too long. Ya didn' pretend ta swallow. Ya watched me like a fuckin' cat watches a mouse, waitin' fer me ta drink. And, ya happened ta use a cheap poison that trained noses can detect." He grinned again and folded his free hand behind his head. "Ya ain' the first person, whore 'r otherwise ta try an' kill me fer my coin purse."

The woman let out a half-screech, half-hiss and dug the blade against the side of his throat. "Can you blame anyone, wanting you dead?"

Benjamin just grinned up at her, and that stupid, goofy look pushed her over the edge. She let out a holler of rage and pulled the blade back, ready to thrust it into his neck when he reacted.

He rolled them over, effectively throwing her balance. Her arms swung out to find purchase on the bed or nightstand even as his own hands grabbed her waist and shoved her off him. She fell with a painful thump to the floor and lay there in a dazed heap as he gathered his clothes and tugged his trousers on, laughing like a jackass as she rolled onto her hands and knees and grunted in pain. "Ya better learn yer trade better Babes. Next guy that figures ya out ain' jus' gonna walk away like I am."

She screamed at him again and leapt to her feet, throwing herself at him as he raised his arm, blocking the knife as he delivered a quick kidney jab.

She let out a great whoosh of air and doubled over as he caught her wrists, trying to shove her off him but she wasn't having that. She brought her knee up into his family jewels, earning an agonized yelp in response. He tightened his grip on her wrists and dragged her around, throwing her away from him and into the wall.

She slide to the floor as he cupped himself, moaning as his knees tried to give way. "Stupid broad-"

He leapt away from the knife as she swung it at him, and sucked in his stomach as she tried to jab him. She backed Benjamin into the corner, and aimed for his throat but he ducked beneath the blade and tackled her around the middle, driving her back into the wall.

They danced away from it as it cracked, him holding her wrists above their heads as she pushed back against him, trying to drive the blade into his shoulder.

Her hair came loose from the bun and fell into her face, blocking her vision. With an irritated huff, she shook it back and glared up into the man's eyes.

And froze.

He froze above her, his grip still like a vice around her wrists as they glared at one another, panting heavily and waiting for the other to make the first move.

Benjamin suddenly chuckled and his expression softened. "You do have… awfully purtty eyes…" He murmured.

The woman stared up at him in shock and disbelief, her mouth partially open as he smiled down at her. "How… what?" She breathed. "I'm trying to kill you!"

Ben snorted, and suddenly her wrists her pinned behind her back in one of his wide hands, while the other stroked down her cheek. "Babes, someone's tryin' ta kill me every time I turn mah back. And ya ain' one o' the greates' assassins, know what I mean?"

The woman scowled as her face turned scarlet and looked away from him, trying to pull free of his grip so she could escape being so… close to him. "My apologies that I'm not much of a challenge."

The man snickered and cupped her chin, pulling her face around so he could cover her mouth with his own, running his tongue against her lower lip.

The woman blinked, so taken aback that her mouth opened of its own accord and allowed his domineering tongue to enter and claim her. She shuddered in his grip and melted against his chest, sliding her tongue along his as he released her wrists, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her up against him.

When they came up for air, her head hung back a bit and her eyes were glazed over as his own head nuzzled against her shoulder. "Wha… why?"

Benjamin chuckled and guided her onto the bed. "Dunno." He lowered her onto the mattress and crawled up so he was straddling her, his hands on either side of her head. "I got this… this weird feelin' about ya Babes." He brushed back a lock of her hair, watching her dark eyes slowly clear of the numbing fog that surrounded her mind. "S'weird. I kinda like it." He told her. "Ya ain' like any other broad I ever met…"

She shook her head, smiling up at him as her heart rate slowly dropped back to normal. "And you are like no man I have ever met."

Benjamin snorted, grinning that goofy, cocky leer at her as he lowered his forehead to hers. "My name ain' Matthieu. It's Benjamin."

The woman rolled her eyes, but responded with an uncharacteristically shy smile. "My name is Arriana, but most call me Laufeia."

"Nice ta meetcha Babes."

I don't even know why I wrote this.

Or where the inspiration came from.

I was at the theater with my cousin, watching The Other Guys (ohemgee, if you don't go see this fucking amazing movie, I'll beat you with a turkey carcass. This was one of THE BEST movies I have EVER seen. Will Ferrell actually did a good job, and I was nearly suffocating because I was laughing so hard at times) when all of a sudden the urge to write Ben and Laufeia's first meeting bit me in the ass like a hungry mosquito.

Also, just for clarity reasons, I would like to confirm that by night walker, I mean prostitute. Laufeia was a pimpless prostitute who killed men after sex by poisoning them with cheap (but potent) opiates to steal whatever they had on them at the time, and because she worked in such a seedy part of France, the law didn't pay much attention to crimes committed there, and she was able to get away with it undetected.

And she was either Ahriman's sister or niece, I don't really care. But she's like, half Benjamin's age, maybe a bit more. I never clarified in the other story how old she was. She's probably... mid to late teens in this. Which I know is 'wrong' or whatever, but back then acceptable ages were a lot different than they are now.

Also, this story is called The Beginning of Almost because Laufeia was intended to be the 'soul that tamed Betelgeuse', but because Daugan kidnapped and tortured Benjamin, Laufeia had to kill him and wound up insane, and killed by Daugan.

Enough! I'm done satisfying my OCD need to clarify every little thing.

THIS EFFING AUTHOR'S NOTE IS TOO FLIPPIN' LONG!

I know I'm forgetting something... But whatever.

So anyway, review and all that jazz.