It is just already so hard, too hard, to get over one's death.
So, why must I be reminded every dang year?
Every…freakin' year.
It's always the same thing, Cry Cry.
It's been seven years since that awful day the doctor said he wouldn't make the surgery.
And right after the words left the lips of that doctor, I never believed him. I believe in a thing called hope.
He's never here anymore. Never, no matter how much we want him back.
The doctors sent me and the rest of the gang a card, having a picture of his face and then a little poem below it.
God saw you
getting tired,
and a cure was not to be.
So he put his arms
around you
And whispered, "Come
with me."
With tearful eyes, we
watched you slowly fade
away.
Although we loved you dearly,
we would not make you
stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
your hard-working hands
were put to rest,
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only
takes the best.
Now, I must mother the children we
raised together, one almost twelve, one fourteen, and the other
eight. Odd has come over many times to help me, since he lives the
closest. I could always count on him.
Timothy, the fourteen year old got the information right away and presently, it locked into his bedroom. And Alex doesn't understand his brother's flying emotions, and comes to me for an explanation. Angela was and still is sleeping peacefully in her room.
"Where's pa-pa?" He asked me, innocently, his cute voice reminds me of his father so, "Is he at work?"
"Yes." I answer hugging him tightly, "He's at work, and he won't be back for a long, long time."
I damn that man that shot my husband as a random act of violence. He had a wife and two sons, and soon after- a girl, Angela, that I was left to name on my own.
How dare that man shoot a random guy like that, killing him almost instantly. David G. Burner, I will never forget that name, he was sentence to sixty-seven years in prison, but he got off lucky, I would have sentenced sixty-seven years of pure torture, but my children don't need to know that.
Angela, she will have to live on without ever knowing her real father, but Timothy cries night and day about it. They had a strong relationship.
Soon after I got a call from Odd, himself.
"Hello Yumi." He answered, "It's the anniversary of that dreadful day."
"I know." I spoke softly, not to wake the kids, "I loved Ulrich dearly."
"Hell, Yumi. Alive or dead, you know you will always love him no matter what happens."
"True, but till death do we part, Odd! Till DEATH do we part!" I spoke louder, still trying not to wake the children on a Saturday morning.
Timothy was already awake and walked into the kitchen, automatically getting a bowl and milk- like every morning.
Angela was still sleeping- as far as my knowledge know, but usually, Alex follows Timothy everywhere, and soon enough, Alex came on queue, with his dinosaurs pajamas, Ulrich bought for Timothy almost a week after he passed away.
My Timmy boy, now saying he no longer needed such clothing, wore his boxers and a muscle shirt to bed each night.
As Angela, my almost twelve year old daughter wore short pajama shorts and whatever she could find for a top.
"Shh, Yumi. I understand. Jeremie, Aelita, And I are coming to your house, just as planned."
"I wish Jeremie and Aelita would hurry up and have kids, I wouldn't feel so alone in this world." I answered. Odd was never married, and didn't even THINK about kids, Jeremie and Aelita have been married a good 12 years now, and never talked about children.
Maybe Aelita couldn't have children, but hell, she loves my kids, they should try, shouldn't they? Or adopt. Or SOMETHING!
"You can't rush that, you know." Odd yawned, "So, would it be okay if I come early and check on Tim, Alex, and Angie?"
"You know the door to this very household is open to your liking twenty-four seven."
"Good, Jeremie and Aelita call you?"
"Aelita called me last night, a little complaining on her part. Her new job as a dentist isn't as grand as she hoped it would be."
"What did you say?"
"I told her some jobs take time to getting used to."
"For sure. Now, did they say when they'd be over?"
"Yeah, one o'clock."
"So, I'll come by around eleven. Okie Dokie?"
"Sounds good."
"Alright, see you later."
"Bye." I put the phone on it's charger mounted on the wall, "Good morning Alex, Timmy."
"Morning Mama!" Alex chanted, no problem with him.
It's my teenagers I have a problem with.
"Mom. It's Timothy or Tim. Never Timmy." My older son informed me.
"I named you, didn't I? I would know. Would you like it better if I called you Tammy?"
Timothy rolled his eyes, as he munched on his cereal.
"Oh, yeah. Mom!" 'Timmy' screamed at me.
"Uh huh?" I answered helping Alex to the chair.
"Mandiee, Scott, Ryan, Sarah, and I are going to the movies tomorrow, is that okay?"
"Who's Mandiee?" I repeat. Who is THAT? I've never heard of her.
"A new girl, she just kinda joined our little group." Timothy's voice lowered.
"How old is she?"
"Thirteen."
"What's her mother's name?"
"Hell, I don't know!"
"TIMOTHY!"
"What?" He asked, putting a hand over his mouth realizing what he said. I'm strict on cussing, Ulrich brought that trait to our house. And I, too, curse now, but I try and try not to.
Alex pointed to him and said, "You said a potty word!"
Angela walked into the room, well, skipped into the room, jerked my hand into the living room without a word, and the boys went back to eating.
"Momma, guess what."
"What?" I loved how Angela never grew out of: My-mom-is-my-best-friend stage, although I did at her age, since my mother and father always took sides, I have to say- I loved my dad more, and I hated my mom less. It makes no sense, but you had to live it.
The phone rang at the moment of time, as Angela was talking.
"I'll get it." Timothy screamed grabbing the phone in the kitchen, "Hello?...Oh hi Uncle Hiroki! Oh yes, I'm fine…School's just fine, or as fine as school can be…Yumi's okay too…Yeah, I miss daddy too. Yeah, she's right here…" He gave me the phone, "Hiroki."
I took the phone and Timothy smiled over at Angela.
They were loving siblings, I thought them well. Very well, but they each knew that needed a father, and I tried desperately for friends and family (especially of the male gender) to help me with that.
"Hello? Hiroki?"
"Hey Yumi. Long Time, No see, huh? Is it alright if we come over today?"
"Just fine, I bet the kids will be delighted to see UNCLE HIROKI and AUNT EMI today!" I shouted to the kids, they jumped up and down.
In this house: Nothing, even money, is more important than family.
As I remembered this, I put my hand on the receiver and asked Angela if she let Charlie back in.
Charlie was our Brown lab, and we loved him dearly. We bought him last year, and were thinking on naming him Rick, after our loved one, but decided it was for the better if we didn't.
Then, when Rick's death came around, our hearts would be full of sorrow and remembrance of two deaths.
Angela's eyes widened as she ran toward the back door. It was winter, around the Christmas holiday, and it was always cold. We let Charlie out the night before, and let him sleep in his doghouse that night, but we forgot about him.
"I hope so. Tell them we have a surprise for them."
"Oh, you didn't have to. Your presence is enough to make them jump for joy."
"Well, good point, but our PRESENTS will make them jump higher."
"Mmm Hmm. I'll have to call you back, I have someone on the other line."
"Get your phone fixed you." He told me.
Our phone was totally broken like that, if I went on the opposite line, the other would hang up, so it didn't really work.
"I will."
"Bye Yumi, I love you."
"Love you too."
I pushed the hang up button, also known as the 'Big Red Button' and answered to the next call.
"Hello?"
"Hey there."
"Oh, Hi Mrs. Stern." I answered. I was never fond of Ulrich's parents, but they were naturally…okay people.
"Hey now, I told you, Helen is just fine." She told me, "Because you're Mrs. Stern too, you know."
I laughed. I always say I would call her Helen, but I always forget.
"My apologies, how are things today?"
"Havoc, up and down, left and right."
"Oh, what a shame."
"Yeah, but parenthood, eh? Anyway I called to see where we were having Christmas this year."
"I think my mom planned it all." I said, but I wasn't too sure, "I'll make sure to e-mail you with exact details."
"Thank you deary."
Then I realized that sympathy in her voice, us women try hard to hide it, and most men don't notice it, but girl-to-girl, we always notice, always.
"Anything for Family. Say, Helen, have any plans for today?"
"None."
"Since your only fifteen minutes away, how about you come by and see your grandchildren? I already have a few family and friends coming around."
"Sounds like a wonderful idea!"
"Great! Be around whenever. Just call before you drive up the street, you know, so I know when to get the children all manner-wise and all."
I heard her laugh on the other side of the line.
Honestly, I think its Ulrich's dad I can't stand, his mom; I can get along with quite well. I looked over to the Kitchen, seeing Alex and Timothy fighting over the gameboy I bought them to share over the holiday break.
"Sure thing! We'll be around before noon, how does that sound?"
"I think I've heard Perfection!"
"WONDEFUL! We'll see you later, darling!"
"Goodbye!" After I pushed the 'Big Red Button' I scolded both boys, and explained to Timothy that he should be more mature than that, because he is the oldest and must set a role model to his younger siblings.
Right after I sent the children up to get dressed, I laid down on the black couch in front of our family television.
Dear God, I love you
dearly, as I do toward my husband, Ulrich Stern that you now have all
control to. Tell him I love him and we miss him. Tell him his
children are doing fine, and the weather is just as beautiful as he
is. Tell him, Yumi apologies for his death. Tell him, that if I was
there, the man would've shot me instead, I'd rather it been me
than him. Tell him that his entire family loves him, but most of all,
Lord, tell him how much I miss him, and how much I want him
back. Tell him that I will never forget him. Tell him
and tell the children and family through heart, that I, Yumi Stern,
am going to date, Mr. Will Stern. Ulrich's brother. Tell
him, I'm doing what's best. The children need a father, I can't
do both positions anymore. Seven years is long enough. Ulrich,
I love you, but I also love your brother. I have something
about your family, I guess. But don't you worry, don't be
jealous, like you would be if you were here now, I'll never love
anyone like I loved you. Is when someone misses and loves you,
you can come back, or you can not. The only thing difference
between Love and Hate Is when someone tells you're their
feelings on the dot. The only difference between Peace and
War Is fighting for right and wrong, and for all. The
only wise thing you can do… Is never let yourself and your
heart and soul, just fall.
Finally, on page eleven.
Don't you ever think we're too far
apart. You're in my head and soul. As I'm in your
faith and heart. Death might have taken my presence away, And
this you do know. Yet, death for me means life for you,
Then, god be it, death shall take it's
toll. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ OH
MY GAWRD! How MEAN am I? Alright, cry, cry! Want a next
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