TITLE: Dear 69-sama
WARNING: This fanfic contains possible traces of lulzery. Side effects may include death by stitches (laughing stitches, that is) or else brain haemorrhaging from extreme fail.
DISCLAIMER: I'll only say this once but it applies to this entire work - KHR is owned by Akira Amano, not myself. This is merely the work of (or one of many works of) one (far-too-dedicated/obsessed) fan.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was inspired by mangarox14's "Dear 59-kun" which - if you haven't read yet - I highly recommend you do because it will brighten your day to no end. The author has kindly allowed me to borrow their idea - many thanks to them!
Special mentions : KirishimaAyama, therainshark (both on LJ) - thank you for assisting me by submitting the initial letters. :-)
"Mukuro, have you ever considered trying to talk to other people?"
This question, suddenly descending out of the blue from Tsuna's very own lips, had the rare effect of surprising the indigo-haired illusionist who turned to gaze at the Vongola Decimo with thin eyebrows raised in silent question.
"I mean, not that you don't already talk to other people," Tsuna hastily back-tracked. "I just meant, maybe, you should try and engage with people other than us. As in, people other than...well, us," he finished lamely.
"You want me to converse, perhaps, with the more normal non-mafiosi, Tsunayoshi?" Mukuro supplied, the tiniest of smirks making itself known.
"Yes, that." Tsuna fidgeted. Ten years on, the once-hopeless, reluctant heir to the Vongola Family had matured amazingly over the course of the decade. But confidence seemed to fly out the window the way he used to toss out Lambo's grenades whenever he tried to hold a conversation with his Guardian of Mist (or his Guardian of Cloud, for that matter), even more so now he was face-to-face with the real one. "I just think that - possibly - you might be able to...open up, if you...tried to help others with their problems..."
The way Tsuna tried to conceal his anxiety beneath an exterior of calm and composure piqued Mukuro's good humour. He chuckled, causing the other man to redden slightly, and turned over Tsuna's proposal in his mind, considering every facet of it carefully. He was still relishing in his new-found freedom from Vendicare and was focused on quickly recovering his strength. Tsuna refused to send a less-than-healthy person on a mission, even if said person could demonstrate that he was not going to collapse at any moment. So really, why not kill some time (not literally, of course) and humour the man's request for a little while?
"Kufu~ Why not? It sounds like an amusing idea, Tsunayoshi."
And as Mukuro laughed, Tsuna could not help but feel as if he was going to regret ever suggesting this idea to his questionably-sane Guardian of Mist.
Mukuro had to borrow a laptop from the irritable Hibari (more like, "use without permission"). He could feel the other man's glares directed at the back of his head and the murderous aura that radiated off the Guardian palpably as he tapped away unconcernedly at the keyboard. Granted, he could have simply taken the whole thing, cords and all, and done this in the privacy of his own rooms, but anything that annoyed the Cloud Guardian was a plus in his opinion.
Well, his online identity had been set up (his apprentice had suggested "Nappo-head" for a pseudonym - such cheek!) and now all that was left was to wait for the fish to bite. What kind of fish would they be, Mukuro wondered. He was amused at himself for feeling just the vaguest sense of impatience and forced himself to calm down and be patient.
He was rewarded with a few emails the next day:
...
Dear 69-sama,
Lately I've been observing the world and have noticed the selfishness and pettiness of people and life. What should I do? I think I'm hating humanity.
- NotPartOfThis
...
Mukuro smiled a little to himself as he made his reply:
NotPartOfThis,
Why not form a contract and become a part of me instead? Kufufu~ I am sure we would do very well together.
Yours (or mine),
- 69
...
...
To 69-sama,
I've been asked a very hard question lately, and being an indecisive person, need your help. So you think red or blue is the better colour?
- Rainb0w
...
What kind of plea for help was that?
Rainb0w (or Arcobaleno, whichever you prefer),
I find that the combination of both do well to terrify all those who see me.
- 69
...
...
Dear 69-san,
How do you affix two blades to a shaft of metal? It's proving impossible.
- Frustration
...
"My, my," Mukuro murmured to himself. "Weapons advice? Is that legal?"
"Why would something like the law stop you, you sick perverted bastard," someone muttered behind him.
Ignoring the insult, he sent back:
Frustration,
I find a certain adhesive - 'glue', in simpleton's terms - usually works. That and some common sense.
(Unless you are an illusionist. Then it doesn't matter.)
- 69
...
...
69-sama,
Have you seen Chrome?
-Kakipii
...
It seemed something flashed across Mukuro's face but it was gone as quickly as it had come. Face completely neutral, his wrote:
Ken (or whoever you are),
Since I know for a fact that - even now - you cannot go anywhere near a machine without breaking it, I must assume that you are in actuality not Ken. Therefore, I would ask you to stay away from my dear Chrome before something unfortunate befalls you.
Sincerely,
Your Worst Nightmare
And thus, chuckling darkly, he sent off his reply.
...
...
De-ar 69-sama,
O jp[r upi vsm trsf yjod. [1]
I-Pin.
...
This one proved an entertaining distraction for him and he wrote back in like fashion:
To the little Chinese martial-arts girl,
Ditr;u upi ,idy nr timmomh ;syr eoyj upit mppf;r fr;obrtord shsom? [2]
- 69
...
...
Finally, there was this:
Herbivore,
Give me back my laptop or I'll bite you to death.
-DisciplinePrefect
...
As he read the short, blunt message, Mukuro felt that murderous presence return and stop right behind him. Without turning, he said casually, "I wonder how you sent this, considering how I supposedly have the only laptop in your possession and it has not left my sight since I took it."
His comment earned him a smack to the back of the head with something hard that rang dully against his skull. Wincing but chuckling, he nonetheless typed a reply:
Dearest Kyoya,
I knew you had a second one lying around somewhere. Kufufu~
The endearment earned him another tonfa to the head and a sizeable lump which did not go away for several days.
[1] I-Pin: "I hope you can read this."
[2] 69: "Surely you must be running late with your noodle deliveries again?"
And so, I'm looking for 'letters' from you good folks, directed to Mukuro, so he can reply to them for subsequent chapters. Either send them via message or review, whichever works.
I apologise in advance if the amount becomes so much that I begin to update irregularly - 1. People do become busy and, 2. I predict it will be hard to keep up once/if large amounts of 'letters' start flooding in.
Thank you!