"NO! I REFUSE TO PAY!" Carrie "Swirly" Clover shrieked at the manager of the Leaky Caldron.
"What's going on?" Katherine "Kat" (too bad can't land on her feet) Greenwood.
"This wench thinks that she can force another hundred galleons out of us!" Carrie seethed.
Kat's look questioned her sanity.
"I payed last month!"
"No, Carrie, remember, that was last week. Not last month," Kat calmly explained to her.
"Oh, right. I remember that. I remember laughing at that weird chicks eyebrows," Carrie said wearing her hair up in a style Luna Lovegood would snicker at, mismatching clothes, and knee high striped socks and still had the audacity to call someone else the term 'weird' when she clearly outdoes it by miles.
The manager saw she lost the battle anyways and quietly snuck away.
"Kat, I think I've lost it," Carrie announced.
"Darlin', you lost it a loooong time ago," Kat pointed out.
"Love you too," Carrie said sarcastically.
Kat was doing her normal routine, organizing the menus. Stupid customers thinking they're so helpful. Pfft. Nope. Not a prayer. And the little kids scribble all over them! Do you know how hard it is to wash crayon of? Very hard.
She heard the door open and slam and sighed. Coulda gone to Hogwarts. Noo, fate must hate her. Bussing tables, 7 star waitress as Carrie liked to call her.
"I'll seat you in a minute," Kat sighed.
Turning she could have sworn all the bad happenings ever accidentally (or not so accidentally) flashed behind her eyes. A large half-giant stood there, overshadowing her.
Ever had one of those, Oh shit moments? This was a 5 star one. Total hallmark.
"I don't think we have a big enough tea cup for you," she breathed. "Look, if this is about the vase Carrie broke last month, it wasn't her fault. Nor was the baby Malfoy incident. Did you know Draco had a little brother once? Not her fault either. And when she blew someone up and transformed them into an egg, that wasn't Carrie's fault, or mine for that matter. Now I'm rambling, aren't I?"
"I'm Hagrid, and was just here to see if you were ever coming."
"I'm never going to Askaban if that's what you're getting at," Kat said plainly. "For one, horrid outfits. Two, such a cheerful place. Not my idea of a vacation spot. And besides, lord knows what Carrie would do. She'd start the muggles' World War Three."
"I was talking about Hogwarts," Hagrid said.
"Never got the letter," Kat replied.
"That could be the problem," Hagrid commented.
Just then Carrie came gliding gracefully over on her ice that magickally followed her. Open mouthed and multi-colored eyes went wide at the large man.
"OH MY GOSH! Dude, I have to get your autograph, you rock! I don't even know who you are but I'm sure you're bloody brilliant-" Carrie said, amazed. Not watching where she was going (as usual) and never noticed that she was going backwards. With her magnificent balance and coordination she pushed someone down onto her ice and fell onto the person's lap.
She looked up to see an amused looking Harry Potter.
"Oh, jeez, I didn't scrape you with my skates, did I? It'd be terrible if you turned into baby Malfoy. Did you know Draco once had a little brother? Yeah, terrible accident, he got in my way when I started ice-skating. Little worm was too busy coloring on Kat's menus. And not the furry animal kind, well, that's a lie. She should really clean out the tub when she's done shaving, it looks like there was an actual cat got in the tub and shed like hell. But, she doesn't land on her feet. Tried it once, we were about eight, she was asleep and I rolled her off the balcony. Terrible thing actually, Kat wasn't too happy with me. Even though I set pillows up outside, I was safe for a while, she had to wear this huge cast thing. Even with magick it lasted about a week. I called it a learning experience, she called it a step closer to an early grave. And she was talking about me," Carrie rambled, perched on Harry's lap. "Oh, how's your aunt, by the way? The one you blew up, Kat and I had to get her down. I was all for her burning up in the atmosphere. Kat in her good deeds, weird why she does it actually. Except on the American football field, she squished me like a bug. It was payback after I made her eat the giant egg. Oh, did I tell you about that? Nasty accident, blew up one of the people who had wanted to adopt me. Then they turned into an egg. And a rotten egg too. But I don't like eggs. Specially after that."
Kat just laughed at Carrie.
"Oh, am I heavy? I'm sorry. I should probably get up. Right about now. I'm a really bad procrastinator, bad habit really. You're actually rather comfy, you should totally go into the business. You'd make a fortune. Maybe you should get in my way more often. No, scratch that, next time you might be killed by my ice skates. Do you like them?" Carrie said.
"They're… random," Harry said.
Carrie's multi-colored eyes widened and pooled with tears. "You don't like them, do you? Gosh, I'm sorry, I'm probably bothering you. My boss says that I do that a lot. I told her to shove it. Just like I told her I already paid rent. Kat saved my arse both times."
"No, no, they're wonderful, just different. I've never seen skates that produce ice by themselves, that's all," Harry said quickly.
"Smart boy," Kat muttered to Hagrid who were both silently watching the show.
"Oh, really? Do you like the enchantment? I came up with it myself, Kat didn't think I could do it. She also thought I wouldn't roll her off the balcony," Carrie talked on.
"What school do you go to?" Harry asked.
"Never got a letter," Carrie replied matter-of-factly.
"What do you mean, never got your letter?" Hagrid asked, as he walked over.
Carrie suddenly lifted the ice enchantment, causing Hagrid to slip and fall. Kat could have sworn she heard glass breaking.
"As in one was never mailed to me," Carrie said slowly, as if talking to a child.
"But ya did!" Hagrid said.
"Yes, and you're on two feet at the moment," Kat said sarcastically. Hagrid slightly glared up at her.
"Well, ya should have gotten one," Hagrid amended.
"Ya, well, we didn't," Kat said.
Hagird sat up and fished to letters out of his coat.
"Now you have," Hagrid said.
"You're about two years late, bud. How do you suppose we catch up?" Kat demanded.
"You might not be able to, but I sure can," Carrie objected from Harry's lap.
"Better yet, how will we pay for it?" Kat said.
"You have me there," Carrie said.
"Dumbledoor is paying for it," Hagrid answered simply. "And your school books. He sees a lot of potential in you two girls, just about as much as he saw in Mr. Potter here."
"OH! You're Harry Potter! The boy who died right?" Carrie said.
"Carrie, you wouldn't be sitting on him if he were dead," Kat pointed out.
"He could have been resurrected," Carrie said.
"I can guarantee haven't been dead in any point of my life," Harry said.
"How would you know? You were dead. You probably aren't conscious for these things, please Harry, get real," Carrie said.
"I'm not going to win this am I?" Harry asked Kat.
"I didn't win the rolling off the balcony argument until a demonstration, so no," Kat answered, highly amused.
"Okay, admitting defeat. Will you please get up?" Harry asked.
"Not unless you promise to give me a tour of the school, if we go," Carrie argued. "Kat, can we go? Please?"
"As long as you keep your predicted deaths of the students to yourself," Kat comprised.
"Will do," Carrie smiled at both Kat and Harry.
(whatdaya think?)