As Blair came home, he found his roommate standing on the balcony staring off into the distance. Jim's presence on the balcony was not abnormal, but the lack of response when Blair walked in was. Blair dropped his bag on the couch, and headed to greet his unresponsive roommate.
"Hey, Jim. Everything okay?" He said as he noticed the first empty beer bottle on the ledge and the second in Jim's hands.
"Why can't I ever have a successful relationship, Chief?" Jim asked not turning his gaze.
"Are things not going so well with Susan?"
"We went to dinner and she told me she thought we should be just friends."
"Ohh man, that stings. Sorry." Blair said in sympathy. He had been on the receiving end of that statement more than once in his life.
They stood on the balcony in silence for a few more minutes before Jim continued their conversation.
"I really want to know Chief, why can't I have a successful relationship. I really liked Susan. I thought she might be marriage material. I asked her why she wanted out and she told me I just wasn't emotionally available. I have no clue what that means."
"Maybe it was her fault, not yours." Blair said supportively.
"Chief, she is not the first woman to say that. I don't think it's her." Jim sighed as he sat his second empty beer down. "I really want to know what women mean. How am I emotionally unavailable?"
Now Blair sighed. He wasn't exactly sure how to handle this conversation with his friend. "Jim …" he started slowly.
Jim looked at him urging him to continue.
"When you saved me from drowning how did you feel?"
"Come on chief, what kind of a question is that?"
"I mean it. Tell me how you felt."
"What does that have to do with my long term relationships with women?"
"I'm getting to that, just answer the question"
Jim's mouth hung open, while he attempted to formulate and answer.
"You know how I feel. You are my best friend." Jim said.
"Jim," Blair continued patiently. "That is a fact, that's not a feeling. Okay, try it this way, how do you feel about me?"
"You are my best friend, Chief"
"Best friend is not a feeling. You don't know how to describe what you are feeling. Women need that, man and you don't know how to do that."
"I can talk about my feelings." came the indignant reply.
"Really?" Blair conveyed his disbelief in one word.
"Yeah, I can, you don't know what you are talking about."
Blair was no longer being patient because he knew what he was talking about. Jim was just being stubborn. He thought for just a second and realized he knew how to prove to Jim that his emotional toolbox was short on instruments.
"Jim, I love you"
Jim's eyes widen. "You are not gay" he said definitively.
"I didn't say I wanted to have sex with you. I said I love you. I love my mother, but I don't want to have sex with her. You love your brother right?"
"I guess"
"This is what I'm talking about Big Guy. When you are with a woman she wants to know what you are felling and she wants you to tell her with words. I don't think you have the vocabulary to say what you are feeling." Both of the men fell silent for short period until Jim asked his roommate another question.
"So how do I get an emotional vocabulary?"
"You practice. I mean, I can tell you some things but you really have to practice to be able to use what you need, when you need it."
"I want to try"
"I'll help you."