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So Much for My Happy Ending
So
It isn't right. None of it.
It's like the world itself has come to an end, and with Mercury Lighthouse lit, maybe it's well on its way to. But Saturos and his ilk...the hostages she saw…Alex…the world might end tomorrow, but for Mia, it's effectively ended today.
She declares her intention to travel with the other adepts. She's fine, she tells them when they ask. Imil will cope without her. Justin and Meagan can take care of themselves. Alex…Alex is nothing but a traitor, a fraud and someone who certainly won't make her emotionally compromised. Yes…she's fine, she tells them.
"Mia…you can talk to us you know."
She Mercury adept glances at the Venus adept, gazing at her with a concerned expression.
"Hmm?"
"You're hurt. Anyone can tell that. Just…don't feel you have to hide it from us."
"Sure…"
It's funny. She's always maintained that she's been fine.
Yet it's not until now that saying she's fine in any way resembled the truth.
Much
Mia thinks of herself as a realist.
So she's on an adventure. Save the world, rescue Isaac and Garet's friends, perform what Ivan's called "mini quests" (he apparently played some kind of roleplaying game as a kid…go figure). It sounds heroic. It sounds romantic. But the water adept knows it's nothing of the sort. They have a problem-some maniacs, Alex among them, want to restore alchemy to the world for their own selfish purposes. And a group of adepts, herself included, have to stop them. Simple problem, simple goal. Of course, the level of emotional investment varies…Isaac and Garet have their friend and teacher to rescue, Ivan has to get back to Kalay, but…well, she's got a job to do, Alex be damned.
And be damned indeed. Slowly, he works his way out of her mind. Slowly, she begins to relax more, partaking in conversation with her newfound friends. People who value her for who she is rather than a healer they can rely on. Granted, they do rely on her, but it's mutually beneficial and for lack of a better word, fulfilling. Ivan talks about Kalay, Garet talks about food, Isaac teaches her the basics of swordplay while she works on improving her own healing techniques.
Isaac…strange how he's entering her thoughts more and more. But hey, she's a realist. It doesn't mean anything that she occasionally casts sideways glances as he bathes in the Lamakan Desert oases, or that she's suddenly become less concerned about him seeing her when she does it. It doesn't mean anything that she stays by his bedside after collapsing in the final Colosso match. It doesn't mean anything that he does the same for her while in Lalivero-she's far more healer than fighter, and she certainly came off the worse after Venus Lighthouse. But hey…it's her own fault, she tells herself. She didn't learn those fighting techniques properly. And Isaac's only here to go over them.
Yes, Mia tells herself. She's a realist.
For
Isaac's friend is called Jenna.
Correction-one of his friends is called Jenna. It's not as if he's bereft of friends-along with Garet, Ivan and herself (humbly submitted in that category), how could he be lacking? But yes, the girl that Felix and Alex are still escorting is called Jenna. And after Venus Lighthouse, Isaac's become increasingly worried about her. Clearly their friendship goes back a long way, and Mia sympathizes with him for it.
But how much sympathy is there, she wonders? These are horrible thoughts, but…well, Isaac clearly has a special bond with his friend. Perhaps even more special than Garet. She wouldn't want to tear him away from that, but…well, what of her connection? Are they friends? Yes. Are they more? Probably not, but…well…
It's becoming unbearable. It's like she's been trapped in a bottle, and all the pressing against the cork is doing nothing. Increasingly, she glances at the Venus adept as they sail on Babi's ship. Increasingly, his visage fills her thoughts and more recently, dreams. Increasingly, she avoids his gaze, as if out of shame. Increasingly, she begins to realize the truth. This isn't just friendship. Not at this rate. Not at this level of intensity. She doesn't know what it is exactly, but the most common world in Weyardian language would be "love."
She's fallen in love with him. And has no idea if there's a chance the bond could be reciprocated.
So what now, she wonders? Remain silent, and suffer? Reveal her attraction and potentially jeopardize what was always a solid friendship from the start at least, romantic feelings be damned? Wait for the crisis to pass…what if they fail? What if the world ends? What if some sea monster slits her throat and lets her die wondering "what if?" She's put things off initially, but as they near the Attekan shore, she knows it can't wait much longer.
"Mia? Are you alright."
"Fine…fine…"
"Well…okay…but you've been awfully quiet over the last few weeks.
So Isaac does care…that's good, Mia reflects. And as they exit their ship and head for Jupiter Lighthouse, she makes a promise.
She's not going to board the ship again without revealing where she stands.
My
Mia breaks her promise.
They're on a ship…one ship…a ship that can fly, thank you very much. A ship with eight adepts and a scholar onboard, heading for the last lighthouse. A ship where it's clear that two of those adepts are close…very close…as in, "oh dear, it's been so long since we've last seen each other and now we can't bear to be apart."
Mia's a realist…was…might be…she doesn't know. Doesn't know what to do right now. Isaac and Jenna are close, that much is certain. But is it permanent? A side effect of long separation? Or is their bond the genuine article? She's tried asking Garet and Felix questions about it as indirectly as possible, but there's only so much information she can get out of them without arousing suspicion. And given the way Ivan and Sheba look at her sometimes, maybe she's already done so.
Maybe it's best to wait, she tells herself. Wait and see…wait for the right time. Wait for, say…after Mars Lighthouse. Wait until they've got inside, perhaps? You know…after that…girl…takes off the scarf Isaac gets her. When they're warm, and cosy. Yes…best to wait, and all that.
It's hard waiting, Mia reflects. But something tells her that she won't have to wait much longer.
Happy Ending
It's unusually warm in the north.
True, they're at the top of the world, but ever since the lighthouse was ignited, the weather's started to rival that of Angara. That's why she took off her heavy cloak, Mia explains when people ask her. That's why she was just wearing a simple tunic in Prox before putting that cloak back on as she began walking briskly out of some secluded area. And…flower in her hair? What flower? She wasn't wearing a flower…course not…why would she be…stupid people…
Stupid…it's how she feels right now as the adepts walk back to their ship, intent on returning to Vale. Stupid for waiting. Stupid for dreaming. Stupid for thinking that quests work like they do in fiction, that people can fall for each other over the course of said events. Stupid for thinking that Isaac and Jenna were just friends.
"Mia? You alright?"
The water adept glances at Isaac as they walk across the snow. Not unlike Imil really.
"Hmm?"
"Asked if you were alright?" the Venus adept repeats, gazing at her in an oh-so-friendly way. "You've been awfully quiet since we left Prox."
"I'm…fine…" she lies. "Just…thinking of Alex."
Isaac nods. "Yeah…I'm sorry, really. Must be hard on you."
Mia laughs softly.
You have no idea…she thinks to herself as Isaac murmurs some impartial goodbye before chasing after Jenna as she steals his scarf. You really have no idea…
But that's probably for the best, she thinks. Isaac's got his happy ending.
And at the least, she's willing to give him it.