Chapter 1: The Beginning
Snake and Campbell were in a vacation to Guatemala. When all of the sudden they were attacked by hungry ferocious rats. They were very hurt and snake was in the edge of dying but the colonel startes going crazy and ate them alive. Campbell took Snake to Mexico so they can heal him but since the doctors there are retarded they took out one of snake spleens and they removed his eye by accident and put it on his nuts. So snake had 3 nuts after the operation. Campbell started laughing at Snake. So Snake tranquilized him and told the doctors to take out Campbell's nut and put them on is eye sockets and put his eyes on his nuts. Then to cut of the penis and one finger, and to put the finger in the penis part, and the penis on the finger. Then to give him a shave up and super glue halve an afro and halve spiky hair wig onto his head. And also turn his legs around. When Campbell came out he was blind on a wheelchair and his hand had a penis on it so they said they were even. But Snake still owed Campbell a favor for saving him in Guatemala.
Chapter 2: The Favor
Campbell called Snake one day for a mission. He said that Samuel L. Jackson was in a tour in Africa for the save The Monkeys Foundation. So colonel Campbell wanted and autograph. But Samuel wouldn't sign nothing so Snake would have to find a way to get the autograph or he would get fired. So Snake began his Journey to Africa. Halfway there Snake forgot he didn't bring any camo or guns with him so sat down and starte thinking if he should go back and get them but decided not to go after 5 hours. He finally got there and he saw Samuel L. Jackson but he looked kind of serious. So snake went up to him and asked for the autograph but Samuel L. Jackson slapped him in the face and Snake started crying. After a while a hot ass girl came to Samuel L. Jackson and asked him for the autograph and he said yes but fuck me and the girl fucked him. Snake was thinking.
Chapter 3: The Plan
Snake found a car on his pants from the Mexican doctors who did the bad operation on him but on the card it said "SPECIALIZED IN SEX CHANGES AND COLOR CHANGES" so Snake called and asked to make him a girl but a super hot girl they also gave Snake a 100 guarantee change if he didn't like the change. So Snake went up to him and asked for autograph. He said yes but he wanted sex. When snake got the autograph he told him he was a man and killed Samuel L. Jackson later on he called the doctors but they died in a plane crash and he also found out he could get a csex change again cause he's a clone. So he decided he was tired of being a good girl and turned into the new member of the beauty and the beast unit as RETARDED OCELOT since raven, mantis, octopus and wolf was taken there was only ocelot left.