Death.
It surrounds him from all sides. Calls to him, its voice sweet. Welcoming even.
So much death.
He has been a warrior his whole life. Hasn't known anything other than his sword. Had accepted even at a pretty young age that he had to kill or be killed. Not just that he had also accepted that he would see his men who were comrades, friends even, fall.
He is no stranger to such decisions. He has led armies before.
But no matter how many ever wars he fights he thinks it is something unnatural to see an elf fall; an elf die.
And to watch a brave soul like Haldir die when he should not have been here is worse still. This was not his war. Rohan was not his country to defend. Yet he had come. Yet he had died.
Having lived with elves for most of his life he knows that they are not the supernatural beings everyone considers them to be. Sure they do not fall sick or die from a disease, but they can be hurt. A sword can pierce their flesh. They can be killed. And he is aware of that.
He is not the same naïve little boy who almost worshipped the elves around him for their beauty and grace. For their skill in almost everything they did. He wonders if he has ever seen an elf do something badly. But for all of that talent they could die.
He knows that. But every time he sees an elf die it still shocks him.
Because he realizes all over again that if Haldir could die, so could his entire elven family. So could Elrond, Elladan, Elrohir and…
He stops his thoughts before he completes the sentence because even in his head he cannot say it. Even in his head he cannot bear the thought of either Arwen or Legolas…
Suddenly he is glad that Arwen at least is far away from all of this madness.
But Legolas….His best friend is in the middle of this along with him.
He wonders, as always since the day he joined Frodo on this quest, if Legolas would have still gone with the Fellowship if he hadn't offered his own sword. The elven prince is a warrior at heart. He would always be in the middle of a fight protecting his friends and to suggest anything otherwise would be an insult to him. That he would be involved in a battle like this is not surprising. And neither is the fact that he had survived today. And if asked he knew the elf would claim that it was Aragorn who had brought them through this.
But he knows that it is not the truth. That maybe, just maybe, Legolas was wrong to have placed his trust in him. Wrong to have followed him…
If Gandalf hadn't come when he did…
Before he could continue the train of thought though, he hears Legolas' voice call out to him and turns. His friend walks towards him a smile on his lips and suddenly he realizes that it does not matter whether there is danger and death around him. He realizes that as selfish as his thoughts are that he is glad Legolas is here and that he would walk willingly into death's welcoming arms if it meant protecting his friend.
But not today though. Today is a day to smile because they are alive. Because they have lived to fight again.