Author's Note: So I tried sleeping for hours. That didn't work. So hopefully you enjoy this little piece. (:
I do not own Demi Lovato. I do not own Joe Jonas. I do not own Selena Gomez. I mean no harm posting this fic, I don't mean to offend any of them or any of my readers. I don't mean to imply that Demi is in love with Selena, and I do not mean to imply that Selena or Joe is the reason Demi went to get help.
She was starting to think she was going crazy. Her apartment was set to a constant 72 degrees, which could hardly be considered hot for the Texas native, yet she found herself sweating uncontrollably. She was tempted to take a fever reducer, but knew that wasn't the problem. She was flexing her fingers or shaking her knee without realizing it, and had caught herself making very concentrated facial expressions when she wasn't even thinking about anything. Her mind was buzzing in the most literal sense of the word. She wasn't thinking of anyone or anything, no event or very misinformed news story. Her brain couldn't process a single word over the buzzing echoing in her ears.
She sat up and pushed her covers away. Her palms pressed against her closed eyelids until she saw pretty purple specs and neon green lines. She took a deep breath and forced away the buzzing long enough to look at the clock. Three thirty AM. In five short hours, she'd have been awake for twenty-four hours. She groaned and slipped out of the sheets. She wasn't even remotely tired. She squeezed her eyes shut when she stood up and took another breath to keep the budding headache at bay. Maybe that Tylenol was a good idea.
She slipped her robe on and padded down the hall and into the kitchen. Her hands were making fists all on their own and she cursed for having to force herself to remain calm. She got the pills from the cabinet and poured herself a glass without making an unnecessary hand movements when all she wanted to do was dig her nails into the counter and scream. She swallowed the pills greedily and set the empty glass on the counter. She curled up in her favorite leather arm chair in the living room and wrapped her robe tight around herself.
The quiet television calmed down the buzzing, and her headache ebbed away just enough for her to realize that the buzzing wasn't buzzing at all. Her thoughts were racing through her mind faster than she could keep up with and it took a serious effort to concentrate on just one subject long enough to decipher it. The one second of clarity she could get a hold of bounced from Selena to Joe and back again. She mentally pushed away Selena's thousand watt smile and focused on Joe.
Love was a tricky thing with Joe. Of course she loved him, he was Joe. But the exact kind of love that she meant confused her. She thought all the signs were there. He made her smile, he made her laugh, he knew just what to say to make her feel better. Wasn't that what you looked for in a guy? Everyone expected her to end up with him, it felt natural to shift from best friends to dating. Kissing him was nice, he didn't try to eat her face off and he wasn't just trying to get in her pants. So why hadn't she fallen for him like he'd fallen for her, the way her family, his family and nearly everyone else in the world expected her to? Even after all the kisses and all the sweet romantic dinners, why couldn't she get herself to really love him? She supposed she knew the answer to that.
Thoughts of Selena finally pushed through her mental barrier and she smiled when she pictured her ex best friend. Their fall out was brutal, to say the least. Demi knew it was her own fault, but what was she supposed to do? She'd fallen in love with her straight best friend of seven and a half years. There wasn't much she could do after she realized that. It was either spend more time with Selena and ultimately do something stupid that would embarrass her and make Selena hate her. Or, she could push Selena away, totally deny her feelings and keep a stiff upper lip about the situation. Now, it was obvious to her that she'd made the wrong choice. She should have risked it. She should have told Selena, they could have worked things out. They would still be happy if she wasn't so stupid. They would still be Demi and Selena. Now they were Demi.
And Selena.
She knew why she could never love Joe. Selena had stolen her heart, and her sanity, years ago.