A/N: I love the Akatsuki. I don't know what that says about me, but I do. Please let me know if I portray any of my beloved criminals incorrectly.
Disclaimer: I do not make any money off the Naruto franchise.
"Well, well…the kunoichi's been busy, busy, busy" the Kisame said, smiling appreciatively at the stash of papers hidden behind the crumbling brick.
He grinned maliciously, then slammed his elbow into the decrepit prison wall, destroying the last vestiges of shelter around Sakura's secret documents. "Sneaky little brat" he muttered, grabbing a fistful of paper.
"She's been taking notes? This isn't freaking ninja academy, yeah!" said the blonde in the doorway to the cell. He harrumphed loudly. "…what did she say about me, yeah?" he asked after a pause, trying to conceal his shame.
"I'm not telling, pretty boy!" Kisame laughed, sticking his fist in the cavity again.
" Come on! At least tell me what it says about you, yeah!" Deidara sighed. He shoved himself off the wall, and walked over towards his blue companion. His arms led him, reaching out for the papers.
When the clay master got close, Kisame laughed again and raised the sheets above his head. "No! We'll find out later". He dodged Deidara's hands with a ninja's speed as the blonde one comically fought for the prisoner's secrets.
Damn tall for a fish Deidara grumbled into his subconscious. His inner whining was cut short when a masked man entered the small jail, bouncing up and down excitedly.
"Tobi is a good boy? Tobi was right about Sakura-san's secret papers in her secret hiding place?" he asked, jumping higher and more rapidly with each word he spoke.
"Yeah, Tobi. You did good" Kisame growled. His patience had waned, and he roughly shoved Deidara aside so he could get to the door that led out of the dim, dank room. The effeminate artist had managed to step on his foot, and that did nothing for the brief period of glee that had resulted from finding the kunoichi's stash. It was time to find out what the girl had "observed" in weeks she'd spent at Chateau Akatsuki.
Oh God, Sakura pleaded, don't let them get to the papers. Please!
She stared numbly at the ceiling of the dining room, holding her pitiful display of hopeless despair within her pink-haired head. She knew it was useless, though. Kisame, for once, wasn't drunk, so he would easily find the observations in her cell. She cursed the little masked boy for putting the flowers on her cot, for seeing her stash, and most importantly, for telling the fish man about it.
I'm gonna wring his scrawny neck! She yelled murderously in her mind. She strained against her bonds, making the rust on the cold chains chafe her pale, thin wrists. All that hard work—all the time she'd spent here as a prisoner—was about to be flushed down the drain…or down her throat if the white-haired one named Hidan had anything to do with it. She held the tension against her bonds for a few moments longer, then sighed dejectedly and fell against the back of her wooden chair. Even the wood was cold in the sprawling, underground base; she could feel the rough, bars through her torn ANBU uniform.
Suddenly, she felt a warm presence behind her. She saw the tall shadow on her lap, and she stiffened, closing her eyes. Itachi had come back for her.
"Your presence is requested, kunoichi. Leader-sama thinks that you could be helpful while we review the information you've accumulated" he said, his icy tone making her shiver.
I have to be there? The shadow of her inner self screamed at him in outrage, already blushing at the memory of what she'd written about the older Uchiha. Would he be flatted? Disgusted? Sakura didn't know, and she would rather be safely in the clutches of a mortal wound than find out.
"I think it would be beneficial, as well, Sakura-san" Itachi leered at her. Somehow, he managed to portray various levels of scorn without altering the tone of his voice or the expression frozen onto his face. He must have been in a good mood, judging from the progress of his comments from monosyllabic phrases to entire words. Sakura shuddered, remembering the last time she'd seen him so expressive. It was a dinner that would never be forgotten…no matter how hard Sakura tried to erase it from her memory.
Suddenly, Sakura found hands on hers—the hands that had been clutching the sides of her chair. She forced a yelp to stay lodged in her throat as Itachi began manipulating her fingers into hand-signs. She opened her eyes, trying to see what he was doing, but only his Sharringan could have caught the rapidly firing positions.
"No. Keep your eyes closed" Itachi murmured, eyes fixed on the kunoichi's fingers and wrists.
Boldly, Sakura kept them open. "Why?" she asked, in the tone of emotionless confidence she'd been practicing for the past four weeks. She didn't have a chance to hear his response, though. Suddenly, her balance was inverted, and she was lost to a world of spinning red and black. Sakura didn't know if she screamed or not.
When she finally began to feel like a human instead of the water in a flushing toilet bowl, she was immediately aware of the other people in the dark cavern around her. She recognized their silhouettes, their stances, and everything else she'd carefully recorded in days she'd spent as an Akatsuki prisoner.
Damn it! She thought, realizing that all of them were present, staring intently at the one she'd assumed was the leader of the organization—the only person she hadn't met personally. The subtle buzzing of anticipation was hard to ignore in the telepathic rendezvous, only noticeable because the Akatsuki were generally so impassive when they were around each other.
I'm their frickin' recreation! She moaned miserably, inwardly wrapping her arms around herself and rocking back and forth on the hard ground. But wait…she normally couldn't feel the GROUND in her mind; Why could she now? She stopped breathing.
There are no secrets here, kunoichi Sakura heard Kisame chuckle from his recumbent position against a nearby spire of rock.
You…you can read my mind? She thought desperately, hoping that she wouldn't hear a response, hoping that she'd imagined the swordsman's voice.
Your mind is the only part of you here to speak, idiot a feminine, cool voice echoed from somewhere to her left. Thoughts are words here until you learn to think in a specific way, which you won't do for a long time Konan said (or rather thought) to Sakura.
The pink haired kunoichi froze, realizing that the cold, hard exterior she'd been wearing for the duration of her imprisonment was left somewhere in the material world. The Akatsuki were about to meet the real, emotional, team-seven Sakura Haruno. She also realized that the first thing that the criminals had learned about her was that Sakura Haruno had a truly pitiful whimper.
DAMN IT! She yelled, rocketing herself back up into a standing position.
Oh, ho ho…the frigging silent little mouse has a fucking mouth. Wish you'd shown me that shit while you were staying with us, kunoichi, Hidan said…or rather cursed.
Che. Why? So we could have had a conversation? All you do is fricking curse and get your head hewn off. Real enlightening Sakura thought, realizing to late that he'd heard every word and even seen her disdainful eye-rolling.
You little bitch! Hidan roared before a smooth, mellow voice emanated from the man in the perceived center of the cavern. The voice stopped Hidan in his tracks and halted the Deidara's and Tobi's stifled giggles.
Quiet. We have business to attend to Pein said, glancing curtly at the fuming shinobi.
Sexy voice Sakura thought inadvertently, drawing forth a dull roar of snickers and outright laughter. She even heard an amused snort from the figure beside her who she presumed was Itachi from his stiff stance.
Thank you, Miss Haruno Pein replied, not needing to conceal the verbal, malicious smirk. He knew as well as she did that the girl was about to be slaughtered for the enjoyment of the Akatsuki.
As you all know, Miss Haruno has been our captive for a few weeks now, Pein began demurely, seeming to forget the previous comment which had sent Sakura back against the cold, wet wall of the cave to cover her face with her hands in embarrassment. What you failed to realize is that she'd been secretly taking notes on our organization throughout her stay. As he spoke, his tone became darker, harsher. Your ignorance in unacceptable. Punishment is to be expected he growled mildly.
Ha ha, suckas! Sakura smirked. She her fist shot into the air triumphantly, earning burning glares from those around her. As soon as the words were gone from her lips, she smacked herself on the forehead, cursing her emotional tendencies.
Pein grudgingly ignored the interruption. But first, I wish to review a few passages from Miss Haruno's oh-so-studious notes. She is after all, an enemy shinobi, and her insight could benefit those concerned.
After hearing the phrase "oh-so-studious", Sakura had gasped, realizing that Pein had read them—those precious little sheets written in the delirium of imprisonment. She couldn't breathe, suddenly realizing that without a doubt, she was about to witness the groveling death of her self-esteem.
Oh this is gonna be so good. Just listen to her! She's having a meltdown! Kisame bellowed, doubling over in laughter. Similar sentiments were expressed in several other faces. Tobi, being the most vocal, pleaded for Leader-sama to begin.
What does the pretty prisoner think of Tobi? What does she say, Leader-sama?" Tobi asked, hopping up and down.
Quiet! Pein replied icily, but his tone was amused. You're about to find out. He paused a moment, waiting for complete silence to settle, and then he began...
"Tsudnade-sama, I truly hope I'm alive when you get this…if you get this at all. It's taken a few days of hoarding chakra to be able to summon this paper and I had to sneak my hand into Hidan's pocket to nab a pencil, so I'll try to make this report worth the effort. I can't say it'll be as good as the medical reports I've done, but you wanted to know about those damn Akatsuki so I'm going to tell you about them while I can"
Hidan hooted in laughter at the red splotches on Sakura's cheeks that had appeared. Tobi quivered. Kazuzu cocked his head to the side in annoyance at the pause, and a number of smirks in the room grew wider and longer. Then, Pein began again, watching Sakura intently as he wet his lips and prepared to speak. She was at it again—hugging herself and rocking back and forth on her heels.
"I guess I'll start with Deidara, the first Akatsuki member I met. Guess what Tsunade-sama…IT'S A BOY! I guess I owe Kakashi-sensei some money"