A lonely figured stared out of one of the many windows of Hogwarts, her emerald green eyes scanning the snow covered grounds, the figure sighed tiredly, she moved away from the majestic sight that lay outside her window and made her way to her dresser and started to brush her long raven hair. After a few long minutes her eyes glazed over and she was lost in the memories of her past, memories of a time when she spent her Christmas happy, laughing around her friends, and then spending the night curled up with her lover until the wee hours of the next morning.
A solitary tear made its way down her cheek and off her chin onto the table top below, she didn't bother to wipe the tear away she just sat there and stared at it, like it contained all the answers to her tormented and broken heart. The answers to why she had no real friends left, why they all had been taken from her. The answer to why her lover, her life left, changed ,turned her back and walked away without a single glance over her shoulder.
A soft knock on the door to her rooms woke her out of her trance. She took a quick glance at her face in the mirror before hurriedly tying the sash of her dressing gown around her and opening the door. "Ah Minerva, I'm pleases to see that you are up already. And on such a merry day"
McGonagall raised and eye brow "Albus you new perfectly well that I would be up as I am always up at this time, and no I do not find Christmas a merry occasion and once again you know this perfectly well. " She let out a long sigh before continuing on her rant. "So please albus enough with the small talk and come out with whatever you wanted to talk to me about"
The headmaster gave a small smile and clasped his hands together in front of his chest "well when you put it like that Minerva, I came hear to inform you that I have decided that this year the annual Christmas ball is compulsory to all students and staff, so I suppose I will see you later" Minerva opened her mouth to protest but the headmaster was already retreating so she settled for glaring daggers into his retreating form.
Minerva turned back to her room and slammed the door shut behind her, she was angry, no scrap that she was beyond angry, she hated Christmas. Christmas was a time that one spends with there family, friends and loved ones and they are all happy. The ball tonight would just remind her that she had no family, all her friends where dead, and most of all her lover abandoned her. Minerva could feel the angry tears behind her eyes, she flopped down on her bed and to her astonishment tears where streaming down her face. The last time she had cried like this was when her lover had come to her on Christmas Eve and told her that she was becoming a death eater, and then when Minerva had refused to become one also she had walked out the door and never returned.
Minerva dried her tears as the clock on her wall told her that it was time for her to attend breakfast. She would not let her anger and sadness stop her from continuing her duties. Ten minutes later she was out the door and heading to breakfast. When she entered the great hall a few heads turned but went back to there own conversations quickly. She new that many on the staff new that she hated Christmas and out of those only a couple like Albus, Poppy and Rolander new the reason why. She could see there worrying gazes, they must be thinking that she was going to kill Albus for making her attend the ball later that day, she shrugged off there stares and took her seat next to Albus.
The day went by rather uneventfully, there where a few mishaps due to excited students, but Minerva was very collected even when all she heard that day was talk about the bloody ball. By her last class, which happened to be Slytherins and Gryffindors, she was not coping as well. She had already yelled at the class only fifteen minutes in informing them that if they mentioned the ball one more time she would take 500 house points. She new that this was really harsh, but she couldn't take it any more, all these happy and excited faces, when hers was filled with pure sadness.
She looked up from her desk and she felt her heart nearly shatter into a thousand pieces, two of her Gryffindors where sitting at the back of the classroom kissing passionately. Memories took over her, memories of her lover kissing her like that, memories of them laughing together and crying together. Memories of happier times, then like a bomb it was all taken away again.
"Professor, professor McGonagall are you ok?" the young granger girl had pulled her out of her mind and back to reality. She could feel the tears on her face and hastily wiped them away.
"Leave all of you NOW" she yelled, she was upset at being caught crying in front of her students, she was upset that she couldn't hold her emotions at bay, upset that these memories keep haunting her over and over again. Her students quickly gathered there things and where gone all except two students. Minerva turned her back to them as more tears threatened to spill from her eyes "I said leave"
The two remaining occupants stood rooted on the spot. It was Hermione that spoke first "professor please what's wrong" Minerva hated it when people pleaded with her, cause nearly every time she would give in, but not this time she couldn't. So not trusting her voice Minerva just shook her head violently. She heard the two occupants in the room sigh. She new that Hermione would stay behind after her little out burst but she was puzzled as to why Draco was still hear.
"Please just go, I'm sorry but it is just something that I don't talk about. I am fine Miss Granger and Mr Malfoy, but please just go" her last words where in a whisper and for a moment she thought that they had not heard, but then she heard Hermione say goodbye and leave, but that still left Draco hear.
"Was there something you needed Mr Malfoy?" she rasped out, nearly choking on her own tears that where now streaming down her face. She felt him take a few steps so that he was now standing directly behind her.
Draco touched her arm gently "yes there was something else, a letter that I was instructed to give to you, but you can not read it till midnight, and don't bother trying to open it before then cause it wont work" with that he slipped the envelope into her hand, picked up his school bag and left. Minerva sank down to the floor culching the letter and for the next few hours let herself drown in her memories.
It was six o'clock and the great hall was crowded with excited students all laughing and dancing. Minerva had been forced by Rolander to borrow a dress from her wardrobe. So now she was standing outside the doors of the great hall wearing a rather low cut black, figure hugging dress, her mind was running at a hundred miles an hour. She kept thinking of the last time she had attended the ball. It had been with her lover, they had danced from six till midnight then when they where forced to leave, they had returned to Minerva's rooms and made love till mid-day. Tears where brimming behind her eyes, she turned on the spot ready to leave and was confronted with a pissed off looking Snape.
"No way if I have to attend this god forsaken ball then so do you" and with that he grabbed her by the arm and literally dragged her into the hall. The sight took her breath away. The ceiling had been bewitch to look like there was white snowflakes drifting lazily across a crystal white mist sky, the pillars had gold sashes whirled around them, the little tables had candles sitting upon them and there in the middle of the room where hundreds of students who where happily dancing either in each others arms or with there friends. Minerva nearly laughed at the sight. She decided then and there that to get through this night she would have to get really drunk. With that she made her way over to the drink table ignoring the stares and the wolf whistle from students and teachers alike.
By 10 o'clock Minerva had managed to get rid of anyone from the teaching staff that came near her as well as albus and was now well and truly drunk. She had lightened up considerably since she had yelled at Filius to get away from her. So when Fred Weasley walked up and bowed graciously in front of her extending his hand out she took it. Her face reddened as she saw all the faces in the room look at them and silently cursed Rolander for making her wear this stupid dress. The music changed to a slow dance and everyone began dancing again. Minerva was a little clumsy and stepped on Fred's foot.
"Oh sorry Fred I've has a couple of drinks" she giggled, which made Fred laugh and spin her around the floor once more.
"I can see that, and I thinks its been a bit more than a few drinks" she laughed again and then tripped and fell forward into Fred's arms, grabbing hold of his shirt as her world started to spin. She could hear his voice in the distance calling her but she couldn't answer. She felt herself being led somewhere, and then the cool night breeze hit her and sobered her up. She could still feel the world spinning slightly but it wasn't as bad as it had been inside the castel.
"Professor are you alright, your not going to throw up on me are you?" Minerva smiled and shook her head, before grasping it as her world went spinning again. She felt Fred's hand on her back rubbing soothing circles, then she remembered how she had done this to her lover when she had gotten severely drunk one year, they where dancing just like she had been, and she had become dizzy and Minerva had taken her outside and held her hair back while she vomited. Then she felt it, the burning sensation rising up, then she bent over double and vomited her night's dinner with Fred still rubbing circles on her back.
She finally sat upright and wiped the tears from her eyes, she could see Fred looking at her worriedly "I'm fine now, thank you. We should go back inside I'm sure there are plenty of young lady's that would like a dance with you and I myself need more to drink" she tried to stand up and walk back inside when Fred put a hand on her shoulder.
"you cant drink away bad memories professor" she froze how could he know, she looked at him puzzled as if she didn't know what he was talking about and he smiled awkwardly. "Professor my mum told me that you and Bellatrix where together and that she broke your heart and I know that that's why you are drinking tonight, please don't make it a habit" Minerva took a shaky breath and patted Fred's shoulder "I'm sorry but I'm not strong enough" and with that she made her way back inside the castel.
With another drink in hand she saw Fred looking at her from across the room. She wanted so badly to stop drinking but she couldn't she needed the drinks to keep her memories at bay at least for tonight. She let a few other students and even some members of the staff have a dance with her. She was well and truly drunk and was swaying on the side of the dance floor when albus came up beside her. "Minerva I think you have had enough drinks for tonight don't you" when she didn't answer him he spoke again "maybe its time you retired to your rooms Minerva"
She spun around violently swaying and pointed a finger at albus Sooo you can tell me that I have to come on the worst night in my history and then as easily as that you tell me to go again once I become an embarrassment to you" she was yelling now and she new that people where looking but she didn't care she was drunk upset and angry all at once.
Albus put a hand on her shoulder "Minerva I am not going to argue with you hear so do as you please" and with that he walked off leaving a peeved off Minerva. She walked over to the table and downed a bottle of fire whisky wincing as it burned down her throat. She could see the room spinning again and decided that as much as she hated albus she was going to indeed retire to her rooms. She mad her way out the doors and had to stop. She melted down the wall and sat there holding her head in her hands.
She could see a pair of shoes standing in front of her but ignored them. "Professor hear let me help you to your rooms" she looked up to see draco standing there with his hand outstretched and to her astonishment she accepted it and he heaved her to her feet holding her tightly as he waited for her to get steady on her feet before making the long and slow journey back to Minerva's rooms.
She muttered her password and Draco helped her inside. The clock on her wall chimed 12 o'clock and there was a small ringing noise coming from the desk. Minerva staggered over to it and picked up the now glowing letter. Forgetting about Draco's presence she ripped it open.
Dear Minerva
Tonight I have heard is one of the saddest nights in your life I have heard that on this night every year since I left you, you have gotten drunk, or cried yourself to sleep. Shut people out, drowned in the memories of happier times. Memories of us together, like the one of us curled up in each other's arms or the one where we snuck out of the castel and went skinny dipping in the black lake. I wrote this because I have the same thing every Christmas. Hell I drown in the memories of us every time I am hurting. The only problem is that when I drown in those memories I regret even more the decision I made in leaving you, because I love you Minerva McGonagall and I cant stand to live another minute without you. So I wrote this to tell you that in a week from now I am going to leave the death eaters because I love you and because I don't want to live like this. I want to go back to how we used to be. I can't wait this long however so my nephew has agreed to help me, he is going to do exactly what I instructed him to do. Just think of him as me Minnie, well it shouldn't be too hard as he is now me. He drank pologys potion I will see you soon have fun min I love you.
Bellatrix
Minerva stood there staring at the letter she held in her hands and then her mind clicked into action, she spun around to where draco was standing and her breath quickened. Her heart was pounding a million miles and hour in her heaving chest and she was finding it hard to breath, because instead of draco standing there, her lover, her Bella was standing there smiling at her. Tears where beginning to fall from her eyes as she chocked out one word. A word that she had longed to be able to say in this fashion for so many years. "Bella"
When draco nodded Minerva let out a cry and ran forward and was embraced lovingly in her lovers arms. They stayed like that for what seamed like several long minutes before Minerva pulled away slightly "but your not real, your not really hear" a sad smile washed over her face and draco placed a hand under her chin making her look directly into his eyes.
"Minerva do I look like?" Minerva nodded her head slightly. "do I fell like her?" draco ran his finger up her arms and then down again and finished up with there hands intertwined, again Minerva nodded. "and do I taste like her?" draco leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips. Minerva pulled back clearly fighting some internal battle, he wasn't sure for a minute who one her heart or her head, as she turned around.
"I love you Bella" Minerva cried and spun around her lips crashing violently against Draco's. the fire and the longing to be touched over ruled her senses and within minutes she was doing what she had longed to do for so many years, making love to her Bella. As she lay there in Bella's arms she looked out of the window and smiled. The Weasley twins had set off fireworks. "what are you smiling about?" draco asked brushing some of her hair out of her face.
"the fireworks are identical to what I feel inside right now beautiful, loved and exploding with happiness" she kissed along the length of her lovers body, etching every little detail into her mind in case this was a hoax and she would never be able to do this again.
Draco pulled her up into a sitting position and pulled her into a hug. "min you need to sleep now" when she shook her head draco slipped out from behind her body and kissed her forehead. "I know just the thing that will help you get to sleep" he disappeared into her bathroom and emerged several minutes later and picked Minerva up bridal style and carried her into the bathroom placing her on the counter. Her then transfigured her hair brush into a bottle of lavender bath oil and she giggled rather uncharacteristically before stepping into the bath and letting her lover ravish her for hours until she finally became sleepy enough that he carried her into bed planted a red rose next to her pillow and then transfigured back into his own body. As he looked at his sleeping professor he new that he had done the right thing in helping her tormented aunty, this way in a weeks time he would no longer have to listen to the cries from his aunty every night and would see at least one member of his family happy again even in the darkest time.