This is what my friends and I discussed during lunch and our off periods today. Yes, we are that cool.

So, all of the Death Eaters will go to see Mr. Shultz, but you won't really find out who they are until the very end. You'll probably be able to guess, though.

And I still own nothing. I know, it's so sad.

The Death Eaters Go to Therapy!

"So, what was your childhood like, Mr. umm..?" said a poor innocent and ignorant therapist known as Mr. Shultz.

"Well, my mother hated me, she didn't even save herself. No, she had to be selfish and DIE! And my father! He hated my mother so much, and he hated me too. So, I killed him. And then I killed his parents."

"WHAT! Well, why? I mean your poor grandparents, they didn't even do anything to you!"

"Well, hmm… I guess that it just seemed like fun."

"WAIT! If you think that killing people is fun, than what made you come to therapy and anger management. I mean, I know why, but what made you realize that what you were doing was immoral?"

"Well, I never thought of it as 'immoral', but one of my Death Eaters told me that he thought that I needed to take anger management classes"

"So you decided to listen to him. Good." Said Mr. Shultz, who was now feeling a bit optimistic.

"No, actually I killed him. Then his wife said that this was why I should go to anger management classes. So, I was about to kill her, then I realized what she meant. If I didn't learn to control my furry, I would eventually kill all of my loyal Death Eaters. Then, I killed her anyways."

By now, Mr. Shultz had seriously started to regret his career choice. But then again, how was he supposed to know that he was going to get stuck with patients like this?

"Okay then. Well you do realized that killing this many people could possibly damage your soul? It really isn't very healthy at all."

"Oh, yes, I do know that killing people splits your soul. Actually, I've split mine into seven pieces. It was really the most fun that I'd had in ages."

"wha- wha- wha- WHAT? SEVEN DIFFERENT PIECES! Are they near each other, or with each other, or- or- or-"

"Well, one was actually inside of a book. And one was in a ring that I got after I killed my father. And one is in a crown, and that other piece is in that cup, and my snake has one, and…"

"whoa! You gave a snake a piece of your soul?" said an extremely astounded and frightened Mr. Shultz

"Yes, Nagini is my pet and dearest friend."

"Your snake is your best friend?"

"Yes, is that so wrong, Mr. Shultz? We have extremely engaging conversations about most anything or on any subject, you know. See, watch this. "

[enter Nagini]

"sssssssssssssssss, master, you called? Ssssssssssssss"

"you see, we get each other."

"So you talk to snakes too."

"Yes, it is a very rare gift, though. But I like it, It makes me feel special."

"So, does killing people make you feel special?"

"Yes, it reminds me of how powerful I am. And of how loyal and close to me my Death Eaters are."

"So you kill people for sport"

"And for fun."

"have you ever though about hunting, instead?"

"but I do hunt, Mr. Shultz. Especially teenaged boys with no parents and mysterious scars, round glasses and black hair. Although their friends are quite fun to have a go at too."

"I meant animals. Hunting animals, not people."

"Oh, but I do hunt animals too! All kinds of animals!"

"Muggles don't count as animals."

"do unicorns?"

"I think that I have figured out the beginnings of all of your problems, you see, because you never had an actual relationship with either of your parents, you have decided that nobody else should have parents or happiness either."

"Or maybe I just enjoy killing things."

"that could also be a possibility Mr. Tom Marvolo Riddle."

"DO NO T, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, EVER CALL ME TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE AGAIN! AND I MEAN IT"

"or what, you'll kill me?"

So there you go, my 2nd story. I'll probably do Snape, Bellatrix, Draco, Lucius, Narcissus, Regulus, Crabbe, Goyle, and Yaxley.

Tell me who you think should be next!