Me: My first ever foray into the MR fandom, and it's a crackfic. I don't own the girl who's really annoying; she is Iggy's stalker from Another Form of the Avian Bird Flu, which is owned by St. Fang of Boredom.
Danny: After you read this and review it, you need to go read that.
Me: Toyotally. I don't own Max Ride or any of the characters in it.
"FANGY-WANGY-DARLING, DON'T RUN FROM ME!" howled the rabid fangirl.
Fang kept running (duh). "Max! Iggy! Angel! Gazzy! Nudge! SOMEONE HELP ME!" he yelled, panicking.
"It's no use, Fangy-Wangy-Darling! I killed them all, so I could be with you for ETERNITY!" the fangirl squealed. She started running faster. "I've almost got you, Fangy-Wangy-Darling!" she called. Some of you may be wondering why Fang didn't simply fly away. The reason for this being that the fangirl had clipped his wings. How?
*flashback*
Fang blinked and yawned. There was a bright light shining in his eyes. Ouch. The rest of the room was dark. So dark, that Fang now guessed how Iggy felt half the time.
"Fangy-Wangy-Darling," said a voice, trying to be ominous.
"You know," Fang said uncharacteristically, "you'd be more ominous if you dropped the nickname."
The voice lost all attempts at ominousness. "FANGY-WANGY-DARLING! I LOVE YOU!" A drooling fangirl leapt out of the shadows and onto Fang. That was when he discovered that he was tied to a chair. He (slightly stupidly) tried to fly away while still tied to the chair.
"It's no use, Fangy-Wangy-Darling!" the fangirl cried. "I clipped your wings so you wouldn't run from our love!"
*end flashback*
Anyways, to sum things up, now Fang is being chased by an insane fangirl who murdered the Flock. I won't say how he got away, as it is confidential information. You need Level Bazillion clearance.
"Oh wait!" exclaimed the fangirl. "I is needing to tell you some things!"
"Does it matter?" replied Fang, wondering why he even bothered to answer.
"Yes, Fangy-Wangy-Darling, it does! I must tell you that I'm not a fangirl, I'm a FANGGIRL!" The Fanggirl screamed the last word at such a high pitch Fang almost went deaf.
"MY EARS!" he yelled, before fainting-excuse me, blacking out.
The last thing he heard was, "FANGY-WANGY-DARLING!" As he fain-blacked out-he thought that, if he was dying, those were horrible final words to hear. He had personally hoped that the last words he would hear would be a declaration of love from Max. Max, he thought, as he swirled away into unconsciousness.
When he woke, up he was in the dreaded chair again.
"Fangy-Wangy-Darling, you're awake!" The Fanggirl had appeared and had started fawning over him.
"Um… Can you leave me alone?" he asked warily.
"Alone? But Fangy-Wangy-Darling, then I'd have to leave!" the Fanggirl protested pitifully.
"That's the point," muttered Fang angrily.
"But I love you, Fangy-Wangy-Dar-"
Fang cracked. "AND STOP CALLING ME FANGY-WANGY-DARLING!" The Fanggirl sniffed oh-so-pitifully, and looked at Fang with Bambi eyes that rivaled Angel's and Nudge's put together.
"I'm sowwy Fangy." She looked so sad, and it was beginning to make Fang feel incredibly awkward. She sniffed again, and started crying.
"No, don't cry!" yelped Fang. The one thing that got all males… Crying females.
"Can I *sob* call you *sob* Fangy-Wangy-*sob* Darling?" she sobbed. (As if you couldn't guess.)
Fang hesitated. The Fanggirl's sobs rose to almost elephantine pitch. He broke. (We all knew he would.) "Fine, fine. You can call me that nickname. However, PLEASE tell me your real name."
The Fanggirl perked up faster than the Vashta Nerada eat. "Aw, you're so NICE Fangy-Wangy-Darling! My real name is Rabida Fangirlana! Oh, and I got something to tell you about the Flock and my BFF!"
Fang couldn't believe his ears. That was the most obvious name he had ever heard. He decided to concentrate on what made some sense. "What was that about the Flock?" he snapped.
"Oh, I didn't kill Iggy," Rabida said matter-of-factly.
"REALLY?" Fang yelled. "I HAVE A CHANCE TO ESCAPE!"
"No," Rabida continued, "he was kidnapped by my BFF. I can't tell you her name, but she says she's really annoying.
Fang fainted again.
"Aw, Fangy-Wangy-Darling, we were having such a wonderful conversation," pouted Rabida.
Announcer Dude (don't ask): TWO HOURS LATER!
The first thing he heard was something that you probably all guessed. Unless, of course, you're Dylan, in which case GET THE FUDGE OUTTA HERE! Anyways, back to the first thing that Fang heard. "FANGY-WANGY-DARLING HAS AWOKEN!"
Fang opened his eyes and immediately wished he hadn't. The entire room was now lit, and there were more people there.
Rabida spoke. "Fangy-Wangy-Darling, these are more Fanggirls. Their names are Ally, Jenna, Katie Chea, Adriana, and some boy. I have no idea who he is or what he's doing here."
"Austin? This is a meeting of Fanggirls," said Jenna.
"Oh, sorry. I thought we were going to watch Doctor Who," he said.
"Come back later," said Jenna. Austin left to go watch Doctor Who.
"Hey, he took the snacks with him!" realized Adriana.
"What?" said Katie Chea.
"Even the CHOCOLATE?" Ally was horrified. She loved chocolate.
"Even the chocolate," confirmed Jenna.
"He'd better bring them back when we watch Doctor Who!" snarled Rabida. It seemed that they'd forgotten about Fang. He tried to start edging the chair toward the door. It made the smallest of noises.
All of the Fanggirls whipped their heads toward him in eeerie (with THREE e's) unison. Fang froze. Please, Hades, take me now, he prayed. Sadly, his wish was not to be granted.
"GET HIM!" squealed Ally. The Fanggirls leapt on Fang and hugged him and cuddled him and squealed loudly a lot. Fang was not amused. Unfortunately, there was absolutely nothing he could do about the Fanggirls. Wait, he thought. Maybe they didn't kill Ella or Total! Because, they technically weren't members of the Flock, right?
"Uh, Fanggirls?" Fang asked tentatively.
They stared at him with (slightly creepy and very owlish) large eyes. "We're listening," said Katie Chea.
"We're listening intently," added Rabida.
"Eh…" Fang felt REALLY awkward.
"Awkward turtle moment," whispered Adriana, holding up Tillie the Turtle. Tillie disappeared once Fang began to speak.
"When Rabida said she murdered-"
"Murder is such a HARSH word! I put them to sleep!" interjected Rabida. Fang grimaced.
"Whatever," he said. "Anyways, when you 'put the Flock to sleep', did that include Ella or Total?"
"I didn't kill them!" Rabida said cheerily. Fang would've punched the air, if he hadn't been tied to a chair.
"Rabida's friend who's really annoying killed Ella, and I killed Total! It was !" Ally told Fang. Suffice it to say that his happiness had turned to DOOM AND DESPAIR!
"One last question: Is there any way I'm going to escape from you Fanggirls?" Fang could guess the answer to that one without even Angel's psychic powers to tell him.
"Nope!" Jenna yipped.
"Why did you yip?" asked Katie Chea.
"Because I like puppies and puppies yip!" yipped Jenna.
"Anyways," interrupted Adriana, "back to Fangy-Wangy-Darling." The Fanggirls began to slow-motion leap onto Fang.
Panicking, Fang yelled, "WAIT!" The Fanggirls froze mid-jump, which resulted in quite a few undignified falls. Not that the Fanggirls cared about dignity. "Uh…" Fang searched for a reason to keep them off of him. "Someone's knocking!" he yelled randomly. The creepy thing is, someone was knocking.
The Fanggirls looked at him. "We love you," they whispered reverently. "You are the wonderful Fangy-Wangy-Darling."
Ally opened the door. "HEATHER!" she squealed. "YAY!"
"Do you know how much you're killing your dignity here, practically worshipping a- FANGY-WANGY-DARLING!" As you can (hopefully) infer, Heather had spotted Fang.
"Hi Heather!" said Katie Chea. "Do you have any ideas about something we can do other than hug Fangy-Wangy-Darling?"
"Oh! Oh! Pick me!" yipped Jenna.
"Don't ask about the yipping," whispered Adriana to Heather.
"Well, since nobody picked me," Jenna glared at everyone else (except Fang, of course), "I'm just going to go ahead and share my idea. We should all write HAIKUS in honor of Fangy-Wangy-Darling!"
Various squeals, yips, yells, and other noises of agreement/hyperactivity echoed throughout the room. Fang was the only quiet one. Anyone else not surprised?
"All right," said Rabida, "let's all share one on the spot! Here is mine:
I do love Fangy!
Fangy-Wangy-Darling rocks!
We all love Fangy!
"I got one!" squealed Ally.
I'll make up a song,
About Fangy-Wangy's love,
For all of us YEAH!
"What's with the 'yeah'?" asked Jenna.
"I needed another syllable," confided Ally.
"Let me share!" commanded Heather.
Everyone loves him.
Except for evil Dylan.
We will kill Dylan.
Fang mentally face palmed. These were the most horrible haikus he'd ever heard. They were kind of flattering, though. This whole thing was actually slightly flattering. Flattering, but REALLY creepy and stalker-ish.
"OK, my turn!" yipped Jenna.
I am in TWU WUV
With Fangy-Wangy-Darling
I wuv him so much
"Me next!" said Katie Chea excitedly.
Fangy-Wangy has
Beautiful black hair. It rocks.
Don't you love his hair?
"I LOVE HIS HAIR!" exclaimed Adriana. "I have one about his eyes!" She poked Fang in the eye.
"OW!" he screamed.
"Sorry Fangy-Wangy-Darling. ONTO MY HAIKU!" yelled Adriana.
I love Fangy's eyes.
They are so beautiful it
Is blinding. Hawk eyes.
Fang mentally face palmed again. (I have a feeling he might do a lot more of that.) To think, he was going to be stuck here with these Fanggirls indefinitely. He shuddered, and could only wait for the Fanggirls' next 'great' idea.
Me: Did ya like it? I might continue it; I already have the next few chapters written in a notebook. Now, Danny, you ask them. More people review when you ask.
Danny: *sighs* She will only type and upload the next chapter if someone either asks her too, or if someone adds it to their Story Alert. So, please review?
Me: Even though I'm nowhere near as cute as Danny when I do this… *puppy dog face* Pwease weveiw?