The Prickly Pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear, prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At 5 o'clock in the morning.
The dawn was still a little time away as he stood in the desert, watching the stars. So many memories, so much time, so many trials, so many failures… he could not begin to name them all. Sadly, he had lost one of the few true friends he had… lost him to the truth, to reality. The only other half-elf that was his age, the only other person who knew what he had gone through…
Genis Sage stood in the open desert, the cacti surrounding him, the moon calling out to him. His fists clenched tightly at his side, his whole body shaking at the injustice of the world. Slowly, he began reciting the poem under his breath:
"Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow."
So much… too much… for the poor boy to bear. He was supposed to live one thousand years and yet, he had all this pain inside now. Was it wrong to hide your problems, to run from your emotions when they became too heavy? Would he be looked down upon for doing what he knew he had to do?
Mithos was a traitor, he was lying to Genis the whole time, and Genis knew. He knew, and he let him get away with it. Genis cast the shadow over his group, and had it spit back into his face. He knew what was going on and did not tell anyone, does that make him as bad as Mithos?
For Thine is the Kingdom
"Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow."
I am nothing but a shadow, he told himself. There is no more good that I can do for the world anymore. My hope, my life, died along with Mithos, the great warrior that I had worshiped long before I met … him.
Tears stained his eyes as he choked on his words. Emotion rushed up through him, destroying him from the inside out, and he was about to explode. Something had to happen to ease this pain sooner or later. I slept with the enemy… I loved… the one who wanted to bring about the destruction of the world.
He could still remember, vividly, the night the two had spent together. Tangled in each other's arms, the rest of the group asleep in another room because they knew the two were friends would want some time to themselves. Little did they know what was really going on. Genis, his body on fire, ran a hand through Mithos' hair, smoothing it back off his face, and he just sat there and stared into the other boy's eyes. They stayed like that all night, neither wanting to leave. As the sun was beginning to shine through the window and they heard movement in the other room, they slid away from each other on the bed and grabbed their clothes.
There was a passion that Genis could not even begin to describe, an affection that ran deeper than the surface. The two of them had really known each other, in a way he thought he would never know another person. He gave so much of his being to Mithos, only to have it taken away in an instant. That night outside Altessa's house… Genis wanted only to make that memory disappear.
Life is very long
"Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the decent
Falls the Shadow."
I can not hurt anyone anymore.
He saw how the others had looked at him when he told them that he had known everything, and had known for a while. He saw how disgusted they were, and how quickly they tried to hide it. Even Raine, his own sister! Never again would he allow himself to hurt his friends like that again.
One more pain, one more stabbing blow… he told himself. And then it will all be over. I am the Shadow, I am the darkness in their lives, that follows them wherever they go! Why do I do this to everyone!
Step by step he left the cacti patch he was in and began ascending the cliff. The moon was low in the night sky, and that total darkness just before the sun rises was about to begin. The cool night air of the desert fell away from him as he slowly made his way up, climbing over rocks and finding what little footholds he could, all the while chanting his poem.
For Thine is the Kingdom
"For Thine is
Life is
Thine is the."
Finally he reached the summit and looked down upon the cacti that he had just left. Maybe no one would know for a few days, but he knew that as soon as the others woke they would be looking for him. If he saw any of them –especially Lloyd or Raine – he would not be able to go through with it.
Must stay strong, much stay strong…
One more step and everything would all be over, just one more step. He raised his eyes to the moon, ready to go through with his plan, ready to end the suffering of all those around him, and he saw Mithos among the stars.
"I'm coming to meet you," Genis whispered, closing his eyes to the sky, shutting himself off from the rest of the world. "This time we can be together… forever…"
It was only one more step. His body fell silently through the air, and he never doubted what he had done. When his body hit the cacti on the ground, he opened his mouth as the first signs of blood leaked down the corners of his lips. He died not with a crash, but with a slow, long, sigh.
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
Author's Note: Okay, okay. So I have not been able to write lately, not sure what brought on this surge of writer's block, but hey! It looks like I am over it now! This is really depressing… I know… but Genis is such a sad boy! The poem intertwined in there is from T.S. Elliot, it is the last "movement" of a longer poem called The Hollow Men. In case any of you are still in the dark, the "prickly pear" is a cactus.