Rather Well-Endowed

Author's Note I admit, I am hyper. I've eaten way to much chocolate and Hobnobs today, and I went on the London Eye… That was interesting, so I wrote this, if a fit of giggles! My first MWPP too!! Haha! It's set in their Seventh Year, and I dearly hope it makes sense. Well, it did to me at the time, and I'm still to hyper to re-read it, because this is spontaneous.. But, I'm still sane enough to say REVIEW THE BLASTED THING! I don't care whether you hate it, wait, no idea. If you like it, review it. I'm hyper, don't kill me… I cannot be blamed for my actions!! Oh, and there's a slight twinge of slash, and if you (for some reason…) don't like slight twinges of slash, click back now, or read and be offended. And I don't want homophobes reading this anyway… So off with you. Right, now they're gone. Please, read, and review!

Night After Quidditch Final, 1977

"Didja get it?" Peter asked eagerly, looking up at Sirius and James, his eyes full of hunger.

"Of course Wormtail!" James grinned, bowing to his friend, Sirius appeared at the other side of James and pulled out several bottles of Firewhisky from under his cloak.

"Hogwarts best! Staff supplies! A personal favourite of Hagrid's I think!" James laughed, pulling out two bottles of the drink.

"And of course, some chocolate." Sirius added, smiling at Remus, pulling two long bars of the good stuff from his right sleeve.

"Oh, and some Fizzing Whizzbees!" James chortled, throwing Peter a bag of them.

"What about you two, surely you've got some sweets for yourselves." Remus muttered, pulling the wrapper off his chocolate.

"Ah, we do. James got some Bertie Botts, and biscuits." Sirius gestured to James to pull out everything else he was carrying in his robes.

"Woah! Prongs, you're a genius!" Peter squeaked, jumping to his feet, and bending over the extras James pulled out, which included, four more bottles of Firewhisky, two bottles of Butterbeer, four chocolate éclairs, and eight packets of Chocolate Frogs. "I'd never manage to get all of this!"

"I know you wouldn't." Sirius muttered to James so Peter couldn't hear. Remus heard, but only raised an eyebrow.

It wasn't long before other Gryffindors realised James had re-entered the common room, and they started to pile around him patting him on the back. He was enjoying the attention.

"James, wow, well done. That was a great catch, those Slytherins won't ever be able to live that down." It was Lily. She had her hand on her hip, her dark red hair was resting on her shoulders, and she was wearing a green summer dress that complimented her eyes perfectly. James whizzed around and opened his mouth but nothing came out, Lily had never complimented him, never in the seven years he knew her.

"Say something." Remus whispered, Sirius and Peter nodded in agreement. Lily saw them and laughed.

"Maybe you're not so bad after all." She seemed to deliberate this, she rested her head on her left shoulder and put a finger to her rosy lips. "Mmm." Sirius, Remus and Peter were not in silent fits of laugher. James Potter was speechless for the first time in his life. Lily Evans was complimenting him.

"Uhh…" James croaked, Sirius couldn't control his laughter any more, and howled, clutching his sides. James turned around and gave Sirius a stern look.

"Is it true?" Said another girl, it was Lily's best friend Emerald Patterson. She came over, bending down looking at James through her glasses with a quizzical look upon her dark face. "James Potter, has lost the ability to speak?" Lily turned to her friend and nodded grimly. Emerald looked aghast, and started to pat her chest in shock.

"Prongs, I think you missed your cue." Sirius laughed, standing beside his friend. "I think he needs to see Madam Promfrey."

"No I don't…" James said in a distant echoing voice. "I… What were you saying Evans?"

"Lily." Lily corrected him, now looking at him sternly, both hands on her hips now. "I was saying, that you have a remarkable talent on the Quidditch Pitch, and now that the Cup is ours…" Lily trailed off, curling her red hair around her fingers.

"Yes?"

"Mmm. I've waited to long." Lily purred, trying to sound strict, but Sirius, Remus and Peter's giggles kept on putting her off.

"You sound like a dark wizard." James said, half in awe, half still in shock.

"Oh do I now? I'm not going to kill you James. No one is." She added looking around the room as if looking for a mad axe murderer.

"Oh that's good, want to live a long life see." James whispered, still in shock.

"We all do. So, lets not waste anymore time. Would you like to go out with me?" James took two steps back, all colour drained from his face, and he dropped his wand on the floor. Remus and Sirius screamed "YES!" and Peter did a triumphant hand gesture.

"He says yes." Remus said, standing up, and slapping James across the face. "Don't you Prongs?"

"What Moony? Oh yes. Yes." Lily turned around, her hair whipping around the back of her head, she wore a victorious grin upon her fair face.

The night grew more raucous as they hours went on. James had finally got over the shock that Lily asked him out. The Marauders, eventually got dreadfully drunk, on their Firewhisky. Neither of them knew a night where so much celebration was in order…

*

Sirius fell out of his bed, his duvet still wrapped around him. He woke up with a jolt, and discovered he was on the floor. He heard soft snores from above him. Gripping the duvet around his waist, he saw, naked, two people curled up, at opposite ends of the bed; Remus Lupin and Lily Evans. Sirius's eyes widened in shock. He spun around and looked out the window. Tightening the duvet around his waist, he walked over to the window, and opened it, gasping for air. No. He told himself sternly You were not in a threesome with Moony and Evans… It was a trick of James no doubt… Drunken ramblings… Sirius groaned, he now started to feel hungover. He looked around the room, hoping to see James and Peter snickering behind their hangings. But their hangings had been opened, and no one was in there, apart from a naked Remus and Lily.

This is not happening… Sirius closed his eyes and grouped his way out of the dormitory to come face to face with James. "Hi!" Sirius squeaked, his voice higher then normal. You have no reason to be guilty… Wait, yes I do. Remus and I shagged Lily… And she did the same to us… Wait… Maybe James and Peter were literally in it too, but had popped out… Yes that'd be it.

"Er, Padfoot, you alright?" James asked, looking up and down Sirius. James's hair was wet, and he was wearing his dressing gown. Sirius put his hand on the doorframe stopping James from entering.

"Yes! Perfectly fine…"

"Can I go in? I've got a splitting headache - downside to Firewhisky." James groaned. He tried to crane his neck around the door to see what Sirius was blatantly hiding.

"No… You can't, not right now." Sirius muttered grimly. "I need to talk to you, downstairs."

"Why? All little ones are up. They'll be scared if they see you apparently naked, wrapped in a red duvet. So who is in there?"

"Erm. Moony… Where's Wormtail?"

"Shower…" James narrowed his eyes. "I'll hex you if you don't let me in."

"Please. Don't. Look, Prongs, I really need to talk to you!"

"You're only saying that because I bet you've got some ugly bird in there you don't want me to see."

"No James. Really, just anywhere, just need to chat." Sirius's tone was really urgent, however, as they both turned around, they heard a yell.

"SHIT!" The both turned around. James had his wand raised, Sirius shrugged, for he left his… Somewhere…

"That sounded like Moony!" James shouted, he darted up the few stairs, he was much quicker then Sirius, who for one thing, couldn't exactly run, holding a duvet around hiss middle.

"PRONGS! WAIT!" But it was too late. James was in the dormitory. Sirius scrambled up the stairs, and saw with horror James's face. He was laughing.

"This is all your doing isn't it Prongs?!" Remus shouted, his face red. He was cowering behind the bed, and had given Lily his own duvet. Lily herself was giggling under the duvet.

"Well…" James laughed. He turned around to look at the horrified faces of Sirius and Remus. "It was actually Lily's idea."

"Her idea!" Sirius yelled, he looked over to Remus, who looked utterly gob smacked.

"Well, it seemed a good idea at the time…" Lily muttered, biting her knuckles. "I've been waiting for years."

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, starting to stand up, then realising he was naked, sat down again.

"I never really hated James you see. Just wanted to keep him waiting. So I thought I'd impress him tonight… And, I got carried away…" Lily waved her hand impatiently. "Or, our clothes did…"

"And, and , you were perfectly fine, sleeping naked on a bed with us?" Sirius gasped, his eyes widening in horror.

"I wasn't naked. Drunkenness and hangovers combined with a Naturalibus Charm, always makes men think everyone is naked."

"Then why isn't James naked?!" Remus yelled, staring at his nightclothes.

"I didn't put the Charm on him. Wouldn't agree. Only the three on us had the Charm put on, so, only three of us could see each other." Lily giggled, her cheeks rather flushed.

"Genius…" James gasped. "Pure genius."

"I wouldn't go that far James."

"Aren't you embarrassed Lily?" Remus asked, his amber eyes widening in shock.

"Not really, you're only imagining what the other looks like naked, so it's not actually my body."

"Shit." Sirius gasped. He shot Remus a strange look, before turning around to his own bed. His imagination was quite far fetched… To him, Remus was rather well-endowed…He now wondered whether it was his imagination or not…

Then Peter walked in, his mousy hair dripping wet. He looked from Remus (fully clothed) to Lily wrapped in a duvet, to James who was literally wetting himself in fits of laughter, then to the dazed look on Sirius's face. "What have I missed?"

Author's Note, again… Oh! Still here are you! I think you ought to review then. Please. I'm begging you… I'm hyper, and I said that didn't I?… And my first MWPP can't be that bad can it?… Please say so… Well, only if it's good, flames are likely to send me into depression… Well, cheers for now!