Bad Days

"When I get my quirk I will become the greatest hero who ever lived believe it!" I say as Bakugo begins reconstructing my face with his fist.

-Hours later at the doctors office-

"Your son will never have a quirk."

"…….Welp…...Shit." I whisper quietly with a bruised eye.

"Oops my bad. He actually does have a quirk."

"Really?! What is it?!" Me and my mom say in unison.

"He's able to regenerate……..0.01% faster than a normal human being." The doctor says as he barely stiffles his laughter. He tries his best to put on his serious face as I try my best not to cry.

Sadly we both were failing miserably.

The only good thing about this day was that my mom started world war 3 in his office after she caught him laughing and I found out that I am basically deadpool. If he was 100 times weaker and pathetic.

Life is going well for me. I got jumped by Bakugo and his friends for the 3rd time this week. My whole class roasted me for basically having no quirk. No teacher believes in me except for Bill. Only problem with him is he always wants to invite me to his home after school to help him with "work around the house". Which we all know what that means. He's basically going to make me do all the work which I'm definitely not having that.

However I do make exceptions when it comes to Mitsuki who's Bakugo's extra thick ass mom. I'll never say that to her sons face though. I care too much for my safety. It would also look quite bad for me to fight with my future son.

-2 Weeks later-

Basically the the same old but this time Bakugo is actually grounded so he doesn't talk to me as much anymore. He keeps staring at me randomly for some reason though. I try also try studying different quirks more to get better. Many people don't know this but I didn't actually give up my dream on entering the academy. I just don't talk about it.

-1 week later-

I was walking down the street after coming from school and I notice a black sludge like creature moving towards a group of girls. I would've said something but I remembered that those girls were the same ones who started the "Lil dick deku" chant at school.

So…..Fuck these bitches.

As I walk away I start thinking of all the possible outcomes that could happen if I decided to let that sludge creature touch them. 5% was harmless 93% was dangerous and 2% was very fucking lewd. I was hoping for the 2% but that sadly seems unlikely.

Having my morales get the best of me I decide to scream.

"Hey! Watch out bitch! There's a black sludge monster coming towards you!"

As if on cue I see all the girls run with speed I've never quite seen them shown in PE class before.

The black sludge monster becomes more aggressive and goes even fast but suddenly stops and turn to me.

"…..Shit." I say as I run with all my might.

I run and run but the sludge monster is quickly catching up with me so I look for anything or maybe even anyone I could use to distract it.

My prayers are answered as a random kid comes out of nowhere and looks to be yelling at me but I quickly stiff arm his ass effortlessly to the ground with my left arm thanks to my late night training.

I keep going until I hear a-

"DEKU!!!!!"

I turn around and stop as the sludge monster grabs a hold of him.

I see him struggling and using his quirk to get out of it but failing repeatedly.

I should probably do something. I grab a rock from off the ground and throw it with full force.

It landed right between Bakugo eyes.

"Woops!" I say knowing damn well I intended to hit him.

Bakugo just looks at me even more enraged.

I honestly start to feel bad so I decided to risk my life to save him by trying to grab him out of a sludge monster. You're probably wondering why I'd do this?

It's because there was never any true threat of danger and it looks quite brave on paper. Many people don't know what this black sludge monster is. They just hear that it's dangerous which it's actually not. This creature has been around for over 10 years now and the death count is 147 which is actually false if you did the research on this creatures supposed "murders".

It's all really just the death count of the collateral that was caused by the hero who was trying to detain it. There's never been any documents of it actually killing anything. It just basically eats the deadskin of the humans and other animals. In fact many people who have been "swallowed" by this creature have survived. It's very aggressive and forceful but after it get what it wants it's a very docile creature.

People are scared because it looks menacing and is very fast and strong and has escaped its prison quite a few times and why people can't tell it's the same creature from back then is beyond me but honestly It's just a misunderstood creature. Kinda like me.

Except I'm a little more sexier.

-Some time later-

"Oh look the heroes came just in time to save us and it only took them 2 hours of inner monologuing to do it!"

The monster and Bakugo look at me with strange looks on their faces.

"Oops did I say that out loud?"

The both just give me a deadpan expression on their face as the heroes come in to save us. Luckily one of the more competent heroes came to save us called squirrel girl.

She got us out in no time flat. She's weirdly not that popular even though she's helped save the planet on numerous occasions. I guess she just likes to stay out of the spotlight.

"What were you thinking?!"

"Wha-"

"You could've gotten killed."

"Do you have a death wish kid?"

"What would your mom think if she saw this?!"

Well I guess this was to be expected. Some would think I'm brave while others would think I'm the dumbest person on earth.

I put on a fake hurt expression and quickly run away in tears as I hear "DEKU!!!!" which just makes me pick up my pace even more and people try to stop me but I don't listen and keep going.

I keep running and running until finally I meet the man I've been wanting to see for my whole life.

"Hell *cough* *cough* ohh."

"Hello All Might."

"Wait ho-"

"I know everything."

"Wha-"

"Everything."

Authors Note:

I can't believe you actually spent precious seconds of your life reading this. Thank you so much though I appreciate it.