Disclaimer: Don't own anything but my ideas

Warnings: eating disorders, pain

A/N: just felt like doing something again drastically different from my previous fic. Don't like it, get over it. This is not a happy fic, as was forewarned in the summary!

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Beeping. Incessant beeping pounded into Draco's ears as he was blinded by an overall whiteness clouding his blurry vision. His head pounded and vaguely he registered some sort of tubes in his body. Wait, tubes? Draco whipped his head around wildly as he sat up and tried to take in his surroundings. The place resembled a hospital but it was most definitely not St. Mungo's. It had to be some muggle hospital then. Only Harry would force him here, even if he didn't remember being forced. Then again, Draco couldn't remember much except he was in the bathroom then he woke up here.

Flashback

"Good morning love," Harry said brightly as he sat next to Draco at the kitchen table.

"Good morning Harry," came the quiet reply. Draco looked tired and paler than his normal pale complexion. Harry thought maybe he was just stressed with the baby, but something else seemed…off about his husband.

"You feeling ok? Maybe want something to eat?" Harry had also noticed Draco was hardly eating anymore. Again, he chalked it up to stress and fatigue.

"I'm fine," he answered quickly. "And no, I don't want anything to eat, thank you." Draco gave Harry a pinched smile and got up, muttering something about checking on their daughter. Harry sighed and chewed thoughtfully, trying to figure out what Draco could be keeping from him. It wasn't like the blonde to hide anything, especially not after 5 years of marriage and now a daughter together. Looking at the clock and noticing he was late for Quidditch practice, Harry quickly downed a glass of juice before calling out a goodbye to Draco.

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Draco was laying on the couch feeling devoid of all energy and also feeling quite dizzy. He hadn't eaten much and didn't plan on it either. Harry was starting to notice, as was his mother, but Draco always ate enough to keep them at bay. Luckily he was still on leave from work so he had all day to burn off those calories of which he was forced to consume. Inwardly he moaned and another shot of pain coursed through his abdomen making his eyes squeeze shut. He'd make it through until dinner when he'd have to eat so Harry would not be wiser.

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"Draco, I'm home! Draco?" Harry's call echoed off the walls and he started to worry. Looking in the kitchen he noticed packages torn open, cooked things on the stove and a half empty plate on the counter. Upon closer inspection he noticed the boxes contained cakes and biscuits, or used to anyways. The three boxes littering the floor and counter seemed to be empty, all eaten. He couldn't quite make out what was on the stove, but he didn't want to. He needed to find Draco, panic rising in his chest. He ran to their bedroom blindly as he heard the sounds of retching from the bathroom. Quickly checking his sleeping daughter, Harry opened the bathroom door.

What he saw shocked him to his core. His beloved Draco was leaning over the toilet bowl, fingers down his throat as his body heaved. It all started to click. Draco's moods, lack of energy, the mess of food in the kitchen, the weight loss. He stood stock still as he watched the man on the floor cry, still trying desperately to empty his already vacant stomach of its contents. He sobbed and flushed away his sorrow and pain. He tried lamely to stand up again, but his shaky arms wouldn't support him long enough to stand fully. Draco fought back another painful sob as he collapsed against the cabinet under the sink.

"Draco?" Harry whispered. Draco's head whipped up and fear and shock plastered his face. Harry knew. Harry saw.

"Harry," he croaked, throat still burning from its acidic bath and over work. "When did you get home? I didn't hear you come in." Harry knelt beside the thin man looking him straight in the eye.

"Draco, what is going on? You need to tell me right now, and don't think you can lie this time," Harry demeanded. Draco let defeat mar his features for a fraction of a second before placing his carefully crafted Slytherin mask on.

"Absolutely nothing is going on, Harry. I ate something bad was all." Draco lied as cooly as he could manage without letting any hint of the truth slip between the lines. He cursed his moment of poor judgment and weakness in front of the person who meant most to him. Harry studied his face, looking into his eyes to try and see if Draco would let any emotion or truth come out, but alas, the composure he used to retain in school was back in perfect replication and would not be let down.

"Draco, you're lying! Why the fuck are you doing this?! You don't eat then I come home to find the kitchen a complete disaster as if a starving Ron were in there and come to find you here? Yeah, because that totally means nothing is going on!" Harry's voice softened as he saw the look on Draco's face. "How long has this been going on?" He looked heartbroken as he stared at his gaunt husband.

Draco glared balefully up at the man in front of him. "I already told you nothing is going on Harry. Maybe I have food poisoning, think of that?!" Harry looked taken aback. Draco smiled inwardly as the gears in Harry's head turned to process the plausibility behind the statement. Yes, it was quite possible Draco was right.

"Fine… so long as you're alright," Harry spoke tentatively before offering Draco his hand to help him off the floor. He would let Draco believe he wasn't going to watch him. Draco on the other hand knew he had to be more careful around his husband else he'd find himself being stopped, being robbed of his sick obsession and of the two true friends he'd had since school.

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The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned slowly into months as the incident passes by the Potter-Malfoys. Draco stayed the same, but he ate more for show, always exercising extensively afterwards when Harry left for Quidditch. Draco, for once, was glad Harry had to travel and was often too exhausted from work and too concerned with their daughter to remember Draco's episode of weakness. With Harry leaving for Bulgaria for two weeks, Draco could finally be in peace with his demonic friends to keep him company. Of course he would have their beautiful little Hayley, the daughter he loved so much. But even for her he couldn't leave his faithful companions. They controlled him now, he was at their mercy and he couldn't break free even if he had wanted. Oh, but he didn't want that. He loved their control over him. Draco could not function without his friends telling him to do their evil bidding. He could not eat, and if he did, he could not keep it down. A perpetually vicious cycle, yet part of him clung onto it with a sick affection.

Draco enjoyed his days with no more than 100 calories and constantly moving, cleaning the house, organizing, grading papers, visiting his mother at Malfoy Manor, and taking walks with Hayley in a nearby park. Draco hadn't felt better in ages. That was until one afternoon, the day before Harry was due back home. Draco decided to bake some cupcakes for his mother's tea party the next day and he thought there would be no harm done in taking a bite of one and throwing the rest of it away. That bite turned into two, then three, then five cupcakes, twelve, all twenty four. Draco couldn't hold back the tears as he ran to his bathroom.

His frail body was bent over the one place his secrets spilled out. Fingers reaching down a damaged pipe, the cupcakes came back to their surface world. Slowly they came back.

He cried, he kept trying to make sure his body was rid of everything, absolutely everything. When the cupcakes resided in the white bowl of secrets, Draco kept going. Red now adorned the tops of those cupcakes. Ribbons of red dribbling out, muscles contracting against their will, and a throat damaged beyond repair. Draco had done it this time. He barely had the strength to flush away his secrets as he lifted his shaky hand to the slivery lever. His hand slipped and his body heaved forward. Another try but he couldn't reach this time from his slumped position. From the living room where he had Hayley while he baked, Draco could hear her wails. He needed to pick himself up and go to her. As he tried to stand the world around Draco's eyes became spotty and started to blacken. Hayley's cries now echoed off the walls in desperation. As he lurched forward Draco was unbearably dizzy and all he could think of was reaching Hayley as he blacked out.

Harry was so happy to be home a day earlier than expected. He couldn't wait to get home, to see his husband and daughter whom he missed terribly while he was playing in Bulgaria. A smile lit his face as he apparated in front of their house, ready to walk in and be met with a kiss from his husband. Instead he could hear his daughter's screams from inside and wondered why she would be screaming and crying. Draco would have calmed her down like he always did. Unless… Harry opened the door as quickly as he could as the worry seeped into his heart. Right away he went to his daughter and picked her up. She quieted considerably but still whimpered as Harry checked her and headed to the kitchen to find her a bottle.

The smell of something burning assaulted his nose as Harry walked into the kitchen. He noticed the oven smoking and turned it off. Looking around he noticed Draco had been baking what appeared to be cupcakes yet there were none. Upon closer inspection he noticed wrappers littering the floor and counter top by the muffin tins and crumbs everywhere. Harry's mind reeled back three months prior when he came home to a similar mess.

"Oh, God! Draco!" Harry placed Hayley back into her playpen and ran to his and Draco's room.

"Oh, Draco, please, please by ok," Harry whispered to himself until he rounded the corner and saw passed out on the floor his husband. Harry ran to the fallen man. What had caused him to pass out? And then Harry spotted it: the blood. Fear ran like ice through his veins as Harry picked up his broken husband. He was shocked at how light Draco had become and how the bones of his body poked into his arms and chest as he cradled the man and lay him on the bed.

Without missing a beat Harry fire called Narcissa and Lucius to tell them Draco was being taken to a hospital and that Hayley had to go with them for the night. He said nothing more and did not allow them to ask questions concerning their son. As soon as Narcissa stepped through the Floo connected fireplace, Harry carried Draco to the car Harry insisted they have and drove him to the nearest hospital.

End Flashback

Draco had sat up and let his eyes wander around the room. 'Yep, definitely muggle. Thanks, Harry," he thought to himself before wondering where Harry was. As Draco felt the panic rising up his throat and the beeping of the machine next to him seemed to grow louder and more acute, Harry walked into the room. Draco had never been so relieved in his life to see Harry.

"Hey. Glad to see you're awake," Harry said as he sat in the chair next to Draco's bed.

"Um, yeah," came the croaked response. Draco's throat was far too dry and in fiery pain.

"Draco you've been unconscious for a day and a half now. You're so sick," Harry whispered into the stale air. "I was so scared I had lost you. Draco, I can't live without you. I can't…" Harry's voice broke, he couldn't suppress the sob which escaped his throat. Draco's heart broke to see the one person he loved most in the world so hurt. He reached out and captured Harry's hands between his cold thin ones. Startled by the sudden touch, Harry looked up into Draco's eyes. They said nothing for quite some time. Harry looked at Draco and Draco looked out the window. After some time had passed Harry broke the silence.

"Draco, you know I love you more than anyone else besides Hayley. I will help you fight these diseases. I will be there for you if you want me. I won't let you keep doing this though. Before you argue, I won't force you to do anything, but if I have to, I will make you stay here by force. I will not let you destroy yourself and leave us here alone. I need you. Hayley needs you. Please Draco."

Draco sighed softly. "Yeah, ok," he spoke, a barely audible whisper. A tear rolled down his cheek as he thought about losing the friends who now screamed at him inside his head. He didn't know if he was ready to break away from his two friends, but at the same time he knew he couldn't be without Harry or their daughter. He couldn't give all that away and keep his friends, so he needed to sacrifice and it was clear his decision was already made for him. 'Good bye my friends. Thank you for your company over the years,' Draco thought bitterly as he felt Harry squeeze his hand and ever so slightly, he squeezed back.

And now I brace myself for a possible torrent of flames. Oh, I'm ready for it! Come on bring it! I did warn you…..