A/N This is a little fantasy I've had for a while. All things Sookie belong to Ms. Harris. I'm just letting my mind wander.
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Dead to the World - The Movie
It's all still pretty unbelievable. I look back and think I must have dreamed the entire movie making experience. I watch myself on the screen and just can't believe it is me. Since I've been home, I am convinced it was all a glorious dream that I am desperately trying to cling to now that I'm awake. Auditioning for the movie had almost been a joke. They were looking for unknowns and wanted a genuine southern belle to play Sookie. I'm a southern blond with great boobs. I was looking for something new and needed an adventure. We went to the tryouts. It sounds ridiculously simple now! When I got the call back we laughed and laughed. I was sure they had gotten my number mixed up and they would politely excuse me when they realized their mistake. When I went back for the third audition I finally began to wonder if something might come of this. I was reading for the lead but maybe they were looking for fillers too. I would be happy to be a stand in. I got the lead part. I was overwhelmed. I shook so hard during the call that told me I had the part that I almost dropped the phone. Acting coaches and stylists descended on me like vultures. I had to quit my job for days of toning, tanning, and rehearsing before I knew it. I was headed to Louisiana to start shooting two months, although it seemed like two minutes, later. I couldn't have been more intimidated than I was the first day I met the other actors. I looked around at the gorgeous experienced professionals and knew I was definitely the weak link in the production. While I physically fit the part I had no acting experience. I was unknown… and inexperienced. I spent a lot of time in my room trying to catch up and make sure I knew my lines flawlessly. Angelina Jolie probably gets all the retakes she wants; I did not have that luxury! I jumped in with both feet!
I had seen the final movie and him at the red carpet premier. The entire experience was a blur of dresses, hair, and makeup. I cracked up when they showed me the heels they expected me to wear. The stylist was not joking and was not amused at my reaction. I had mentally prepared for the weeks on crutches I was sure would follow wearing those unreasonable torture devices. I had been shoved out of a limo to find Alex and Stephen waiting for me and the cameras flashing. Alex and Stephen had ushered me down the red carpet like the pros they were whispering small tips and encouragements. The three of us had even posed in a few "vamp against vamp poses" to appease the photogs. It was all a blur though. I don't think I saw a moment of the movie. I was too busy trying to keep my nervous stomach from tossing my dinner onto my "dates". The three of us got into a limo at the end of the night together but only went a few blocks before dropping Alex and Stephen off at their hotel. Alex gave me one long look and then got out without saying a word. I guess that's my answer. I rode on to my hotel in the back of a car just too big to be practical feeling small. It felt cold and silly without the guys. The excess of Hollywood was all I had imagined and more and I found it to be a terrible turn off. I should have called Alex before I headed back to Atlanta but I just chickened out. We had a lot to say. I had no excuse other than I didn't think I wanted to hear most of it. I can appreciate an easy let down. I'm willing to just skulk away though and let sleeping dogs lie quietly. I've read enough tabloid gossip to know romances between leading men and women are common and usually short lived. I'm not sure you could call what we had a romance anyway. By the time I recognized our sexual tension was continuing off camera I was too overwhelmed to seize the opportunity. We talked, we flirted, he thought of romance during a drunken blissful evening. I knew it was fleeting. Then it was over and the world began to pull us back into reality.
The movie making had been so all consuming that having a break felt weird. There would be another PR tour soon but we had a little time and everyone had gone their separate ways again after the premier. I decided I wanted to sit down and watch the movie. I wanted to share it with friends over popcorn and let them laugh at all my cheesy lines, feign shock at the sex scenes, and drool over the gorgeous actors. I decided to have a small party and a private showing of the film back at home in Atlanta. I dusted my house that had been left idle too long, rented a projector, cooked enough food for an army, and opened my doors to all my friends. The response had been amazing! Even friends from high school were willing to make a trip. I know mostly it was curiosity about the movie and my unexpected brush with celebrity but I knew it would be nice to see people regardless of the incentive. The closer it got to party time the more excited I became. It had turned from a little get together into a full swing event. I was back in my element and feeling amazing. The night arrived before I knew it! I had cases of wine but decided to hold off a while since it was early. My dear friend Cat had been in town for a week or so now helping me adjust back into a "normal" life and catching up on all my adventures. She had been particularly intrigued by my description of my sort of relationship with Alex. While I insisted he was out of my league and the chance had passed, she insisted I could compete in any league I wanted and maintained an "I know you and you can't fool me" look on her face constantly. Cat and I have known each other for many years and we often know each other even better than we know ourselves. I tried to convince myself Cat was on the wrong scent this time. My last night with Alex had been a bit weird but I was sure leaving was the right thing to do. Apparently, I was wrong.
By 6 PM the house was buzzing with people. A few folks I was pretty sure I didn't even know milled about but I guess if a friend brings a friend that can happen pretty quickly. The food and wine flowed and I found myself manning the bar for a time. My old days working as a bartender meant, well, nothing. I barely remember anything but I can make it look good! I found being at the bar allowed me to see most people there since everyone was making it to the bar at some point. It also kept me too busy to drink. I'm a light weight so that was probably good too.
Cat suddenly popped up looking like the proverbial cat that ate the canary. I knew she was up to no good but I love the woman like a sister and most of her no good is tons of fun!
"Cat?" I asked cautiously and suspiciously. The woman has no poker face!
"Soooo, are you expecting any other 'celebrities' at this party?" she asked failing in her attempt to look innocent. Her question was so loaded no one could have missed she was up to something. Her dig at my pseudo-celebrity had been a running gag this week. I was far from a celebrity but life had been a bit different lately and she loved giving me hell about it.
"Noooo. No celebrities expected here tonight except you dear." I countered and smiled. Cat was about to explode with something and she was way too excited about it. I was getting scared!
"Is there something you need to tell me, Cat?" I asked.
"Um, actually, here." She quickly pulled lip gloss from her pocket and handed it to me as she scanned my face. I put it on without question and immediately grinned so she could tell me if I had anything in my teeth. I ran my fingers through my hair and wiped the corners of my eyes quickly to remove any errant mascara goop. I looked at her and silently asked "how do I look?" We'd played this little scene out a million times over the years.
"Beautiful!" My dearest friend in the world stated and the warmth in her eyes told me she truly meant it. There's nothing like a loving friend to see the beauty on the inside. She's been through so much with me and loves me anyway. Awwwww! There's also nothing like a loving friend that saw a six and a half foot Swedish sex god walking down my street and isn't willing to warn me… but did make sure I had on lip gloss!! Women can just be evil.
So I knew something was coming but I didn't know what. Considering all the people at the party I couldn't imagine being surprised. I had at least four ex boyfriends running around the property somewhere. Life is long and complicated. I've never felt it was necessary to leave people on bad terms so I have quite a few male friends who have permanently landed in the friend zone and we're all happy and better for it.
I didn't have to wonder long. The buzz in the crowd changed and I knew that he was there. I couldn't believe it. What could he possibly be doing here? I didn't dare hope he was here just because of me.
Stephen was the first to get to me. He had played Bill, my former love interest and rival to Eric who had been played by Alex. Alex and Stephen had been buddies on the set and at the center of most of the pranks pulled.
"Soooookie" he purred as he grabbed me and spun me around. He immediately bent me backwards to playfully bite my neck. I wrapped my arms around him and laughed wholeheartedly. Stephen had been a blast on set. He was always so positive and had been so kind to me. Our romantic scenes were shot first and early in the shooting. He had made things so easy that the problem wasn't being comfortable. My problem was keeping a straight face. Stephen had me roaring with laughter between each take and the short scenes were over too soon really. What could have been my worst experience had been made one of my favorite by Stephen. I hadn't seen him in weeks and I was overjoyed to see him now. As I squeezed Stephen once more and began to pull away, Alex caught my eye. He stood several inches above most of the crowd so, even though he was still shaking hands and doing his meet and greet, he was looking at me.
Every trite romance novel since cavemen chipped stories into rock walls has told of women getting weak in the knees at the sight or touch of their beloved. My knees held this time but there is no doubting my body's reaction. I'm pretty sure my stomach tied itself into a tight knot and my brain just went numb. Other parts of my body betrayed me so quickly I was glad Alex didn't actually have vampire senses. I actually considered my escape options for a moment. I wondered what the guests would think if I just broke and ran for my life. The thought of me sprinting down the street in my party clothes made me want to laugh. Why in the world would I run? That thought made me recognize I was overreacting a bit and calm down. Alex strolled into the room like a king. His size alone is enough to make people take notice. He is truly beautiful though; a genetic mutation of the most desirable sort. The hair, the eyes, the mouth; all perfectly colored and shaped. This man was walking art. I had seen him naked and it was truly magnificent. He was as "glorious" as any book could describe.
I wasn't actually supposed to see Alex naked and it isn't what you think. Despite some really…. and I mean really hot sex scenes, modesty is important and many a device and scrap of cloth are strategically used. Pranks were common while shooting the movie though. Spending that much time with people means you must find something fun to plot or you'll start plotting violence. Alex and the director had gotten much mileage (and some great footage) off of a little prank they pulled on me. The book on which the movie is based had a particularly popular scene where Eric joins Sookie in the shower and they make love for the first time. Eric steps into the shower behind Sookie and begins to massage her. When she turns around and takes him in naked she is supposed to experience quite a range of emotions. During the filming of that scene I turn slowly to look at the giant naked vampire Viking in my shower. I'm expecting Alex to be in his little flesh tone bikini bottom and I have my look of excitement/apprehension/terror/lust all ready. I turn around to find a completely naked Alex/Eric looming over me. The look you'll see in the movie is genuine. One take and they had the look they wanted. I blushed over my reaction for days. The Director showed the clip over and over. Alex walked around set preening like a peacock and most of the set team just urged him on. They got me. I'll admit it. And, it was worth it! From that point forward Alex and I couldn't have been more comfortable with each other on set.
I watched Alex work my friends as he moved through the crowd. Women might as well have swooned at his feet as he walked. I don't know if Jesus Christ himself could have attracted such stares. Most people stared unabashedly. He was here now and I couldn't run this time… yet. I decided it was time for that drink I'd been putting off. I had just enough time to fill my glass when Alex approached. I stood and looked up at him as Stephen rolled his eyes at us and made a dramatic exit.
"You left without saying goodbye." Alex stated calmly still staring straight into me.
I knew what he was talking about but had hoped the memories had magically disappeared from his mind. No such luck I guess. That glamour trick would be so handy in real life.
"I'm sorry." It wasn't exactly Shakespeare but I did owe him an apology. I had planned to apologize at the premier but we honestly didn't have a moment alone and I was still hoping he'd think it was all a dream.
"This is for you. I made you a mix tape." Alex laid a small black IPod down in front of me, smiled widely, wiggled his eyebrows at me, took my glass of wine from my hand, and walked away. I was pretty sure the elastic in my panties melted when he smiled like that. Damn it! I realized I was still standing with my hand in the shape of the glass watching him walk away.
I'd had my chance at Alex and I had blown it. Or maybe I didn't have a chance? Who knows? The entire movie making experience had been stressful but fun. When production was slower we stayed up too late drinking and plotting silly pranks. Filling Adam's room with Styrofoam peanuts might have been a little overboard. We had such fun with it though! The culprits were easily identified by all the small pieces of Styrofoam doggedly clinging to everything around. Here's a tip. Don't wear black pants full of static cling to a Styrofoam peanut party. You'll wear more than you leave behind. The tension between Alex and I was like an electrical current. The closer we got to each other, the stronger the pull. By the time we were filming our steamier scenes we were best buds and enjoying every minute of it. I'm no dummy. Alex is a super gorgeous international star and sex symbol. I'm a regular southern girl that got caught up in a crazy movie making adventure. We are not compatible. I couldn't deny the vibe I felt though. Alex laughed the longest at me, he lingered at the end of things, and we couldn't seem to run out of things to talk about. We had spent hours one night sitting on scaffolding above one of the sets talking and laughing. When we realized the sun was coming up we climbed down, exchanged a lingering hug, and went our separate ways. Every time that was the pattern. We'd have a great time, and then go our separate ways. I was so sure I had fallen squarely into the friend zone and that I was imagining any electricity coming from Alex. After all he's playing a part and needs things to pull from for his character. I was just mistaking friendliness with flirting. Yeah, that was it. Then Alex got drunk and told me I was the perfect woman and he loved me. It had been our last night together.
On our last night we actually went out into New Orleans and wandered the streets of the French Quarter drinking and enjoying ourselves immensely. New Orleans is a magical city and our small band of actors and crew kept getting smaller. Every few blocks or so a couple of people would peel off. We were down to a band of three stumbling drunks when we decided it was time to head home. I dozed off in the cab tucked warmly between my two on screen love interests. When I woke up Stephen was gone and Alex was clumsily trying to drag me out of the cab. We stumbled out and held each other up as we laughed and headed towards our rooms. For some alcohol addled reason we thought we needed more to drink and raided the mini fridge in Alex's room. I stretched out on the bed with my mini bottle and asked for a story. Alex has been everywhere and tells the best and most animated stories. He can't sit down and tell a story so he paced the room spinning his tales. Alex began to talk about more serious things. His typical laid back demeanor became more serious and troubled. The more he drank and talked, the more sober I became. Alex explained his lack of reality in his life. He talked about past relationships. He told me he wanted me and he told me he had been trying to keep his distance. To say our lives are different is quite the understatement. He seemed to recognize that and was wrestling with it. I just listened nodding or agreeing as appropriate as he laid out all the reasons we should or should not be together. I realized Alex had been having this conversation with himself for some time. When he had finally gotten out what he had obviously been holding in for some time he looked at me expectantly. I reiterated a few of his more important points. He sat down on the bed with me and pulled into him.
"It all sounds so complicated but I think I'm in love with you. No, I am in love with you." He whispered to me.
We sat that way for some time both lost in our thoughts. As we slid down to lay on the bed in a spooning position the feel of his body wrapped around mine became too much and I couldn't hold the tears back any longer. I cried quietly and as I felt his breathing slow. When the weight of his arm over me increased and he began to snore quietly I cried harder. I carefully slipped out from under his arm and got out of bed. I watched him sleep for a bit. I told myself I'd never see anything so beautiful and perfect again. I tucked the covers around him, kissed him lightly on the forehead, and quietly left his room.
I didn't really have a plan. I went back to my room, called for a cab, and packed my bags. I took what I could carry easily and left instructions for the rest of my things to be sent to me. Luckily, an all night taxi was found. I arrived at the airport still unsure of what I was doing. When I found out I couldn't get a flight for hours I found the one rental car agent in the entire airport and talked him into renting me a car. I drove from New Orleans to Atlanta nearly nonstop. By the time I got home I was convinced it had been a dream and that taking off was the best thing to do. Alex would surely regret saying those things when he woke up and I had simply saved us both some embarrassment.
I had gotten a text message a few days later that just said "We need to talk." I replied "Looking forward to seeing you at the premier!" It took me nearly three hours to decide on those words. The premier had come and gone with us barely speaking to each other. I had come home and settled into my little life until tonight. Now here he was, and he had made me a "mix tape". I guess IPods are the new medium for mixes so it was appropriate. I was dying to see what was on it. Another prank that had occurred on set was the "theft" of my IPod. Someone, and that someone had yet to confess, had gotten into my room and had taken my IPod. It mysteriously showed back up but suddenly all of my cheesy 80's music was blaring from various locations around the set. I'd be walking to my next location and suddenly a crew member would be playing Bon Jovi's Living in Sin. I was severely judged on my taste in music. The collection on the IPod Alex had left would likely be dripping with sarcasm. I took the little IPod into the bathroom and put in the ear phones. The first song was Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes. I guess that's cheesy and typical but I don't like many love songs and I've always loved that one. He gets a point for that one. I skipped to the next track which was titled Mine. It was Alex's voice.
"I had to write this out but I want you to hear me say it. I don't care how different we are or how complicated this might be, I want to be with you. I know life is hard and our paths may change someday but, I want to be with you. I can be myself with you. Give me a chance. Let's just see what we can be together."
The next track was in a language I didn't understand but it was beautiful. I was lost in the sound when there was a knock on the bathroom door. I jumped and almost dropped the IPod it startled me so badly.
"Are you using the bathroom?" Cat asked through the door.
"Just powdering my nose dear." I sang trying to sound light and happy.
"Let me in." She demanded.
I stood at the mirror to check my makeup and unlocked the door. "Cat look what…."
Alex stepped quickly into the bathroom then shut and locked the door behind him. I was busted with the earphones in and the IPod still held up in my hand to show Cat. I just stood there for a moment with my mouth open. I was also trapped in a windowless bathroom with a giant sexy Viking I'd been avoiding. Shit. That Cat is going to seriously pay for this.
"I was wondering how I would get you alone but you made it so easy." He was obviously very happy with himself for trapping me like this. His blue eyes sparkled as he stared at me and he gently pulled the earphones out of my ears and set the IPod aside.
The best defense is usually a good offense so I decided to dive right in. I started talking too quickly and running my words together. "I'm sorry I left like that but I was pretty sure we would both be embarrassed in the morning… if we even remembered it and I needed to get back and you were sleeping and I didn't want you to be embarrassed and…."
His mouth shut me up. When his lips touched me I thought I had been shocked. He wrapped both arms around me and lifted me up to sit on the counter where he didn't have to bend down so far. He kissed me deeply and a small moan escaped from me. Oh what the hell! I'd dreamed of doing this in private for months now. Rational thought had left when his lips touched me. All thought left when his velvet tongue traced my lips and he looked me in the eye.
"Let's just give it a chance." He said.
I realized he wasn't asking and I didn't think my body would allow me to resist no matter what my brain told me. I tangled my fingers into his hair and kissed him back.
"Ok." It was all I could get out.
"Ok? Ok! Is that it? Just like that. Ok? I've been suffering for weeks now trying to figure you out and all I had to do was kiss you???" He stared at me in mock disbelief.
"Well you did make me the mix tape. That really put you over the top." I said sheepishly beginning to feel our natural banter coming back.
"We're ready to start the movie you two!" Cat yelled through the door.
Alex backed away smiling and rested his forehead on mine. "You have a great friend there."
"She'll be lucky to live through the night." I replied.
I swore to myself I'd torture her the first chance I got!!
Alex and I emerged hand in hand and Cat couldn't have looked more pleased with herself. It dawned on me that I should wonder how Alex knew I was having a party tonight. I'll have to investigate that later. Right now, I'm going to watch a movie with MY Swedish sex god.