Who's Gonna Rock This Place?
Pairing: None. -insert gasp here-
Summary: A pointless debate between the Sonic characters, ya know? Really? Who's gonna rock this place? Or better yet, why should we care? :Includes crummy humor:
This is a weak attempt at humor. I don't know. I just did this because I was very bored.
And also that song "Who's Gonna Rock This Place" is stuck into my head. I felt like I should make a story about that song.
The coolest place, and this isn't just a place, this place has trees for Pete's sake! This place also had grass! No way! Impossible, right? Well, believe it...or not. Well anyways, the coolest place known to mankind was overrun by a couple of super, abnormal, freaky hedgehogs, a mutated two-tailed fox, an echidna that needs anger management, a bat that's dressed in skimpy clothes, a vengeful robot, an annoyingly polite rabbit, and a mentally challenged cat. Oh, can't forget about the creepy, Sonic-stalker, pink hedgehog.
Sonic, Shadow and Silver, the freaky, abnormal hedgehogs, were arguing one day at this place. Everyone else just watching them argue, unamused.
Oh, and if you're wondering what they're arguing about, well, it's nothing really important. It's actually pretty stupid.
"I'm the ultimate," Shadow stated, arms crossed, nose stuck up in the air as he "humph".
"So, what does that have to do with anything?" Silver asked, putting his hands on his hips and glared at Shadow.
"It means that I should be able to "rock this place" since I'm the ultimate life form and I conquer all." Shadow glared at the gray colored hedgehog. Silver rolled his eyes and tried to ignore Shadow. Sonic on the other hand, was laughing. He collapsed on the floor, purposely, and held his gut as he chuckled. Tears of laughter streamed out of Sonic's eyes. Shadow frowned and glared at Sonic, unimpressed.
"May I ask what's so amusing, faker?" Finally, Sonic was able to calm down. Little, short laughs escaped out of his mouth every once in awhile. The azure hedgehog stood up and wiped the remaining tears from his eyes.
"Man Shadow, you crack me up! You should consider being a comedian one day."
"Yeah Shadow, you should listen to Sonic," Silver smirked, clearly amused now. Shadow raised his brow, glaring at the two hedgehogs.
"I do not understand what I did was "funny," Shadow stated.
"Not what you did," Sonic corrected, "It's what you said."
"And...what did I say that was funny?"
"You said you would be able to "rock this place" when everybody knows it's me who will be "rocking the place!" Sonic stood confidently, maybe too confident for his own good? It was Silver's turn to laugh.
"You've got to be kidding me? Is this a joke?" Silver said, when he was done laughing. "It'll be me who's going to "rock the place!"
Sonic quickly turned to Silver, "Why should you be able to rock this place? You're new! Nobody even likes ya!" Silver growled at Sonic.
Shadow chuckled dryly and turned to Silver and Sonic, "Funny...now be serious here. I'm going to rock this place. I'm the ultimate life form, I'm good looking, I'm more powerful, and I have more fans than both of you combined. I'm going to rock this place." Silver and Sonic bursted out in a fit of laughter. Silver and Sonic both put their arms on each onto each others shoulders, laughing uncontrollably.
"Oh, please Shadow," Sonic said in between laugher, "I'm the main character in the entire series. I think it makes sense to who rocks the place," Sonic explained while winking at the two hedgehogs.
"So...that doesn't matter," Silver argued back. The three hedgehogs all growled at each other like wild beasts. They were all going to attack each other. Sonic was about claw out Silver's eyes using his perfectly manicured nails, Silver was about to use his (awesome) telekinesis powers on Shadow, and Shadow was about to shoot his gun at Sonic, like the gangster/emo hedgehog he is.
Just then, all the neglected characters from the beginning of the story showed up in front of the three vicious hedgehogs.
"Stop!" They all shouted. Astonishingly, the abnormal hedgehogs listened.
"What the fuck is this shit all about!?" Knuckles shouted at the three hedgehogs, shaking his enormous fist at them. The three hedgehogs had to hold in their laughter when they were looking at Knuckles' attire. Knuckles was wearing fluffy pink slippers, a pink nightgown, and some curlers in his spines.
"I can hear you guys all the way to Angel Island! Shut the fuck up so I can go to sleep!" Knuckles growled in a tired way.
"You hear us all the way from Angel Island?" Silver asked, raising his brow. Knuckles glared at Silver in a creepy way. It was so creepy, Silver felt like hiding under some covers.
"I just can, okay!" Knuckles grumbled and his eyes kept drooping down.
"Well, it seems like somebody didn't get their beauty sleep," Sonic snickered quietly. Luckily for Sonic, Knuckles was too tired to put up with Sonic.
"Mister Sonic, Mister Shadow and Mister Silver," Cream took a deep breath, "Why are you guys fighting? Aren't you guys friends?" Silver, Shadow and Sonic looked at each other, unsurely.
"Sure we are Cream!" Sonic answered enthusiastically while he smiled and winked at Cream.
"I guess..." Silver answered unsurely, shrugging his shoulders.
"Absolutely not. I despise them." Shadow answered honestly, but harshly.
Cream was confused by each individual's answer. One was either a yes, a no, or a maybe. She didn't know who to believe.
"Sonic!" A pink hedgehog shrieked excitedly. She ran all the way to Silver and gave him a bear hug. Amy was hugging Silver so tight, his eyeballs were squeezing out of their sockets.
"I'm not Sonic," Silver managed to wheeze out. Sonic and Shadow were snickering quietly at Silver's humiliation. Amy looked up and shrieked.
"You're not Sonic!" The angry pink hedgehog slapped Silver in his face.
"Ouch!" Silver reacted to Amy's slap. He rubbed the sore spot where Amy had hit him. The place where Amy had slapped him had turned beet red.
"You're such a creep! You tried to impersonate Sonic so I could hug you!" Just when the stinging sensation disappeared from Silver's face, Amy had slapped him again, in the very same spot.
"Ow!" Silver growled and rubbed the sore spot again. Sonic and Shadow continued to laugh at Silver. Silver tried his best to ignore them. The gray colored hedgehog then raised his brow at the pink hedgehog.
"Wait, why would I want to impersonate a hedgehog that has a big ego, and looked like he's being chocked to death?" Silver asked. Sonic stopped laughing at Silver and smirked. Amy glared at Silver.
"Because you're jealous of him!" Amy stuck her nose in the air and turned the opposite direction from Silver. Sonic smirked and put his arm around Amy, he pulled her close.
"Ya know...I think Amy has a point," Sonic said slowly, a smile formed on his face. Amy was frozen, she couldn't be able to move away since Sonic was so close to her, but...why would she want to move anyways? She liked him so close to her.
"I have to ask though," Sonic inquired, "what do you by I look like I'm being chocked to death?" Amy smiled and nuzzled into Sonic's chest. Sonic noticed this and awkwardly smiled; he then put his arm off her form. Amy frowned.
"Well, you're blue. I bet you somebody is going to walk up to you and do the hemlock on you."
"Shut up Silver," Sonic mumbled.
"So, what are you fellas fighting about?" Rouge asked, secretly pulling out a chaos emerald out of her shirt to re-adjust the emerald. She quickly put it back in her shirt before somebody saw. All three hedgehogs sighed.
"Who gets to rock the place." They all answered at the same time.
"I think Shadow should rock this place," Rouge answered while winking at him. Shadow rolled his eyes.
"I think Sonic should rock this place!" Amy screeched out without thinking twice. She wrapped her arm around Sonic's in a loving way. Sonic smiled in triumphal...and tried to ignore Amy.
"Hey! What about me?" Silver complained, quite annoyingly.
"I told you before," Sonic began, "nobody likes you."
"I think you should rock this place, Mister Silver!" Cream told him while a tint of red formed on her cheeks.
"Chao! Choa!" Cheese, Cream's adorable...but annoying pet, chirped out from Cream's dress pocket. Cream smiled and pat Cheese's head.
"Cheese thinks you should rock this place too, Mister Silver" Cream told him enthusiastically.
"What!?" Sonic bellowed out, "Cheese doesn't count."
"Why not, Mister Sonic?" Cream asked out, innocently.
"Because...he just doesn't." A frown appeared on Cream's face.
"Okay, Mister Sonic...if you say so..." The unsure cream-colored rabbit shrugged her shoulders.
"Now wait a minute, Sonic can't do that!" Silver piped up, "A vote is a vote. You can't tell Cream that Cheese can't vote for me, that's rather unfair, wouldn't you agree?" Sonic ignored Silver and looked at Knuckles, who was currently snoozing on a rock.
"Hey Knuckles!" Sonic called out. Just then, lightning struck when Knuckles opened his bloodshot eyes.
"What!?" Knuckles shouted out, "This better be good." Knuckles mumbled out.
"Who do you think should rock this place?" Knuckles submitted a low growl.
"I don't give a shit about who should rock this place!"
"Come on Knuckles," Sonic whined like a baby, "Choose somebody...or else I'll never leave you alone." Sonic smiled, he was confident that Knuckles would choose him since Knuckles knows him the best out of the two.
"Fine," Knuckles gave in, "I choose Shadow, now leave me alone!" Sonic's eyes widened.
"Shadow!? Why him?" Sonic asked in disbelief. He couldn't believe Knuckles just chose Shadow.
"Because he's the only one that can shut the fuck up!" Knuckles growled and continued with his slumber. Shadow smirked tauntingly at Sonic.
"Shut up Shadow..." Sonic sighed out.
"I didn't say anything, faker." Shadow rolled his eyes.
"Moron," Shadow muttered under his breath.
Just then, Omega appeared, his robotic, artificial orbs glared at the three hedgehogs.
"What's going on?" Omega asked in a robotic tone.
"The usual," Rouge answered casually. Silver, Shadow and Sonic broke into an argument and began to fight each other.
"Duh..." Big, the ample cat, had drool all over his chin. Now...you're wondering (or not) why the author inserted Big in the story? Well, even I don't know the answer...and I'm the author! Oh well!
"I'm going to rock this place!" Silver cried out, yanking at Sonic's quills.
"No, I'm gonna!" Sonic kicked Silver in his stomach.
"Correction. I'm going to!" Shadow used his gun and shot at the two, but missed.
"Stop!" A two-tailed fox cried out. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Tails, except for Big...he was too busy picking the lint out of his belly button, isn't he cute?
"End the madness!" Tails' chest heaved in and out, "All together we'll rock this place and forever we'll rock this place."
Thanks to Tails, the madness stopped. Silver, Sonic and Shadow realized they were acting stupid in the entire story. They all said sorry to each other.
And they all vowed to smoke more weed next time.
They all lived happily, ever after.
The End!!!
I don't know exactly why I made this "story", but it defiantly cured my boredom.