Hey Guys this is my first attempt at writing a fanfiction so hoping this goes well, This is mainly a fantasy story meaning i do not own any of the worlds or people named in this story, and any and all characters are fictitious. The only thing I own is the idea and the story, but I hope you enjoy this prologue, and please if there is anything i can do to improve or anything you would like to suggest please review! Happy Reading! =^_^=
Warning: This story will contain foul language, innuendo, possible lemons (not decided yet) and boyxboy meaning if that you dislike boy love don't read XD
Special Thanks To Yami Dragoness of Dark for being my Beta luv u dear!
Guilty
Prologue
It's all my fault, I should have never left her alone, I just wanted a drink. I was away for only 20 minutes to go down to the cafeteria, a stupid 20 minute break away from my overbearing sister, and now she's gone… simply gone. When I got back I tried to look for her, I thought she was just in a huff or something because I went without her, but I thought because I was 13, and since we were twins and stuck together 24/7, that I deserved a break… how wrong I was.
I checked the room over and couldn't find her anywhere. I started to panic, I ran down to the pool praying she had went there or to the cafeteria to find me, but she wasn't anywhere, I was so scared, but being the stupid boy I am I was more worried about what my parents would say to me about losing her than actually finding my sister.
I ran to the foyer of the hotel we were staying in and asked there If they had saw my sister, we got bored a lot cause we had been staying there for 2 weeks and were supposed to stay there another week while our parents were at a conference for some archaeology thing.
Our mum was giving a speech on some big discovery, she's an archaeologist, and our dad was giving a speech showcasing her since he was the boss of the museum, although I don't think he knows nearly as much as mum cause she's always correcting him on how to do the different cleaning and preserving of stuff.
Anyway, after checking out the foyer and asking the all the bellboys and receptionists if they had seen my sister, I started to truly freak out, Where Was She?!
After running round the hotel like 5 times, I ended up crying, I couldn't think of where else she could be, I had looked everywhere, even the secret places we found while exploring the hotel, like the basement or the cubby holes where they keep all the cleaning stuff.
And that's how my mum found me, my beautiful mum, in her slightly too big business jacket and skirt which she fretted over so much the night before, and her medium length black hair tied back in a bun to look more professional. Her high heels giving her a more imposing height of 5ft9 instead of her usual 5ft7. With her being about 110 kilos and having a flat tummy which could just be seen as her plain white top had ridden up the tiniest bit, she was a very attractive woman, which my friends like to keep telling me.
My dad was still speaking at the conference but mum had wanted to come and check on us, we used to always get into so much trouble together but we never got hurt or hurt anyone else, just some harmless pranks and exploring. But this time something was truly wrong, and when she found me, on the stairway back up to our room crying my heart out, she was at my side in a heartbeat.
I couldn't hide it from her, how could I when it was my entire fault anyway, all I wanted was a drink and she was gone. When mum had calmed me down enough to tell her, hugging me and stroking my hair saying, "it's Ok Jake I'm here, or it's alright baby" I couldn't bear to look at her face because I knew what I would see, heartbreak that her daughter was missing, fury at that I had left her by herself even though I was told to stay with her and panic at what to do. What I didn't expect was for her to slap me, although I know I deserved it. I can still feel the sting of where her hand struck my cheek after I had finished telling her what happened, and the heartache of her running back to the foyer to call the police, without even sparing me another glance.
I just sat there for what seemed like hours, to shocked at being slapped by my mum, who had always been so gentle with us, and always giving us treats when dad wasn't looking, but I had just lost her daughter, and had ignored the 1 rule she had asked of us to stick together, so I felt like I deserved it, if not more than a simple slap. After a while I heard the sirens from the window opposite to the stairway, and I know my mum had called the police. I was so scared, when I heard the sirens it finally sunk in that my sister, my twin and best friend, was gone, not playing hide and seek or just huffing me but was gone, ran away or worse kidnapped!
I couldn't move I was just numb when my mum came back, black tears running down her face where her tears had ruined her mascara, shouting at me if I had found anything at all to indicate where she could have been. I tried to speak, honestly I did but I just couldn't so I just shook my head, and with that my mum broke down and started to cry, right in front of me. I wanted to comfort her, to tell her we would find her, or that it will be ok, but every time I made to move to hug my mum or say something my body would freeze up and my throat would close.
It took the better part of the day for the police to search our room for clues, while they searched the rest of the hotel for her, but they couldn't find anything to hint where she may be. They tried to question me, to find out what had happened throughout the day but I just couldn't talk, my own voice had given up on me and I was left nodding or shaking my head to their questions.
Our dad rushed back to the hotel when he heard what happened, and honestly when he saw me I thought he was going to slap me too. My dad isn't an imposing man or anything, at 6ft4 and 190 pounds of mainly muscle, he would intimidate most people and with his usual spotless business suit he wore, mainly brown with his lucky stripy red tie he could downright scare most business clients into agreeing with him, but with his bright smile and sparkling green eyes and his short bushy brown hair that always stuck out no matter how hard he tried to brush it, he looked more like a big friendly giant to me and my sister than anything. I wanted him to, anything to make me forget the pain that was wanting to burst out of my chest, but he just crouched down in front of the seat I was in, back in our room so they could question us, asked me if I knew where she could have been, and when I shook my head, he just turned away and acting as though I wasn't even there, like I was simply a ghost.
They searched the better part of 10 miles for my sister, in case she had gone shopping like she had said she wanted to do before she had disappeared, or had gone to the local cinema. But as the day dragged on, it became less and less likely she had just left to do her own thing. And eventually the police had to let my parents know that the only explanation left was someone had taken her.
I had never seen my parents cry so much, my mum was always so happy, always laughing and making fun of my dad, and now she could barely stand from the amount of shaking and crying she was doing, while my dad, who had always been so strong and so wise, you could come to him for anything and he would always have an answer, it may have been absolutely wrong or barely relevant and yet he always had the answer to help us find out what we needed, and he had been reduced to tears just like my mum, not nearly as hysteric as my mum but I think he was just putting a brave face on for my mum.
I couldn't sleep that night. My parents told me to go to bed after they had asked the police to keep searching for her, but I couldn't bring myself to sleep, or even to lie in the bed next to my sister, knowing she should have been so close and yet was nowhere to be found. I ended up just thinking, lying on the floor next to the wardrobe, how if I hadn't got that stupid drink, if I hadn't left the room and left my sister alone, that she would have been right next to me, helping me feel better and trying to cheer me up.
The sunlight slowly crawled in through the glass panes that led out into the balcony, and with the sunlight my parent were up and moving, already getting ready to go and help the police to find my sister, but my mum surprised me by bursting into the room, seeing me on the floor, and ordering me, she never ordered me before, to get clothes on and come get my breakfast cause I was going with them to help find her. I didn't want to move, I just wanted to lie there forever and melt into the floor, where nothing existed beside the rough and yet slightly comforting carpet, but I did what my mum asked me to do. I didn't want to hurt her more by disagreeing with her.
We searched every park that we could find, with my dad continually trying to comfort my mum every time we couldn't find her, saying how she could have just got a bit lost and we would probably find her looking for the hotel. But after looking through the last park my mum cried again and my dad said nothing, he just drove us back to the hotel, called the police and asked if they had made any progress and made us dinner. I have never ate dinner with my parents in such silence before, the only words that they said to each other or me was to pass the salt or to thank my dad for the food he made us.
I was sent to bed again after dinner. I didn't mind, I was really tired after looking through all the parks but I ended up spending the night wider awake on the floor again, my mind spinning with what ifs, to the point that I ended up throwing up all the food I ate into the toilet. After I finished throwing up, I remember grabbing a shower and just curling into a ball while the water ran down my pale skin, crying my heart out at my missing sister and how it was all my fault that she was gone.
I guess I fell asleep in the shower cause I was woken up by freezing cold water hitting my skin, and I rushed to turn of the water, when I finally came out of the bathroom the sun was just starting to come up and I knew my parents would be up soon to go looking for my sister again, so I went and got dressed and made some breakfast for them. It wasn't anything fancy just some toast and eggs, but I tried really hard to make it look nice for them, hoping that they would be made even the smallest bit happier with having breakfast made for them. I waited for them to wake up and showed them I had made breakfast, but they didn't say a word they just ate their breakfast and then ushered me out to the hotel so we could go look for her again.
This ended up being our routine for 3 weeks, I would either curl up on the floor thinking about things or be throwing up in the bathroom during the night, I would make them their breakfast, then we would go look for my sweet sister, and when we didn't find her, we would come home, dad would make us dinner and then I would be sent to bed.
At the end of the third week there still hadn't been a shred of evidence to lead us to my sister. When my dad got off the phone to the police that day, I knew he was going to be taking us home, even though it wouldn't be home anymore, not without her, my Emma. When we got home the place looked so different, all of my sister's things were still there and it looked as if she would walk in at any moment having forgotten something like usual, but there was no one coming this time. Mum ended up going to work the next day, she couldn't stand being at home where all her daughter's things were or near her son who lost her daughter. She didn't say the last part but I knew from the way she still barely talked to me and how she would look when she thought I wasn't looking. Dad on the other hand, stayed at home for a long while. It was summer while all this happened so I didn't have to worry about school for a while but I just couldn't bring myself to leave the house.
I kept feeling like those people that had took my sister may come back for me, or that I would find my sister in a gutter or something, my thoughts have become very dark after all the searching and failures at finding her, although I have never told anyone how I felt, it wouldn't be fair anyway, it's my own fault she's gone so it's what I deserve to feel like this. Dad had started to talk to me more and more, we had started having normal conversations again, or as normal as we could be anyway.
Ever since my sister disappeared I just didn't want to talk to anyone just her, so whenever my dad tried to talk to me about what I had read or about school and what I was looking forward to I only give him as few words as possible, I wasn't his fault and I knew he was only trying to make me feel better but no matter what he said I knew deep down that it was all my fault that she was gone and if I had stayed with her this wouldn't have happened.
We waited throughout the whole summer to hear anything about my sister, either from the police or from the people who took her or anything, but when it reached the day I had to go back to school, I think I just gave up hope. My sister was gone, vanished into the dark world I had forcefully learned we lived in, and no matter how much I wished she would come back or that we would at least hear something about her, we wouldn't. She's Gone.
The day I had to go to school, I remember dad turning to me in the car, as my school was a half an hour drive from my house so walking would have made me late, and told me to simply have a good day and to try to put a smile back on my face. I did try, honestly I did, but after an hour of watching my old school friends asking me how my summer went, where my sister was, did I do anything exciting, and watching them jump around like only 13 year old boys can, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I shouted at them, I know they didn't deserve it, they didn't know how their questions were like dipping a fresh wound in salt, slowly driving me mad from all the pain that I couldn't even see straight anymore. I shouted at them to grow up and stop acting like stupid kids and I just moved to the back of the class to get away from them.
They were most likely in shock from my sudden outburst, before the summer I would possibly have been even more hyper than they were, but I just couldn't face such an obvious display of happiness without being reminded of my Emma's smile, and her laugh, and I just couldn't stand it. Throughout the day my friends would ask me if I was ok or what they had done, and even at the few occasions my silence or one word answers had pissed them off, shouted at me to wise up and stop being a dick, but I just ignored them and went through my school day as best as I could.
This ended up being normal for my school life. I tried to drown myself in my school work to ignore my friends, and my grades showed it, going from an average C to either a B+ or A, but even when my teachers congratulated me on a good grade, I would be as polite as I could and say thank you but I just couldn't find any joy in it. Eventually my friends stopped trying to talk to me, I don't blame them, no one wants to be friends with someone like me, so irresponsible that I can't even keep my sister safe, not that they need to ever know that. With my good grades I soon became a target for all the bullies in my year, calling me names like bookworm and nerd, and on some occasions shoving me to the floor when they thought they could get away with it. I didn't tell though, I truthfully feel like I deserve it, since my mother doesn't even like me why should they?
It has been a year now since she has gone, a full year and there has still been no clues to my sister's whereabouts, Dad now works mainly from home even though I've told him to go back to work properly, but every time I try to tell him, he says "It's ok buddy I just like to work here so I can be here for you if you need me". Every time I hear that it's like a knife in my gut, I can't stand him calling me 'buddy' because I have no friends anymore, and I don't deserve any friends, but I won't tell him that, it wouldn't be fair to put that weight on him when he's been through so much already.
Mum now works 24/7 she's barely home and when she is it's to eat, sleep, talk to my dad (argue about her working so much and him working at home, my sister, me, etc.) and then she goes back to work, and I know she's doing it to avoid me, she doesn't want to look at the face of the one who lost her daughter, the person who has but her through so much.
I'm now 14, in my 3rd year of grammar school. I now have medium length black hair, with my fringe covering one of my eyes, instead of the short black hair I had before. Since my hair grew out their names changed from bookworm to Emo or Cutter or Faggot but I don't bother with them much it's not like they could hurt me anymore. My dad gets at me saying how I should get my hair cut, but I like the way my hair is now, it helps me hide from people and it makes people leave me alone.
I don't eat nearly as much anymore, I used to be a bit pudgy when my sister was around and was the tiniest bit shorter than her, which she would make fun of me for every time she could, but now I'm 5ft5, two inched taller than my sister was, and I'm now quite skinny at 120 pounds, instead of 160 pounds. I'm not anorexic although I do get it shouted at me by people at school as well, I just don't like to eat now, it's like food has lost all its flavour and everything is just bland.
Dad likes to tell me how I should change my hair or at least cut it to show my eyes more but I hate my eyes now, since they are the same shade and colour as my sister's, an emerald green like his, that lights up and shines whenever we are happy, but my eyes haven't lit up in a long time. Every time I look into the mirror it's like my sister is staring straight back at me and I can see in her emerald eyes, how happy she was before she disappeared. Her long bushy brown hair that she would fight with for hours, and her thin body that she would always use to her advantage like poking me with her bony elbows.
I miss her and I hope we will find her, but I know that even if she does turn up, I will never forgive myself, maybe that's why she hasn't been found yet. She's punishing me for leaving her alone.
But I might as well go; I have another day off school to not look forward to. More teachers looking at me as if I was a freak and more students screaming things at me or shoving me about, oh joy.
And there we go the stage is set! I hope you enjoyed reading, and that you are looking forward to the next chapter which should be up in a fortnight. Sorry for the space between chapters but my course is relentless -.- anyway Hope you enjoyed and please Review! ^.^