A/N: Not a NaruSaku. XP
Come and rescue me
I'm burning can't you see
Come and rescue me
Only you can set me free
-Rescue Me; Tokio Hotel
Rescue Me
Amarxlen
And it's such a heart wrenching, bone deep depression that I can't even cry properly. I'm left staring down at a scratched piece of metal and I like to pretend that if I hold it tightly enough I can still feel warmth. That maybe I can still feel him in the stained and faded blue cloth.
But I can't, as much as I try to pretend, and the tears still won't come so I'm left with this empty overflowing ache that starts in my chest and drops to my stomach and resonates from there till I feel sick.
I think maybe, maybe it will get better if I could just cry.
Except maybe this is better. If I break down too, if both of us are left as aching, dying shells, then what's left? Because if I'm not strong, how will she be?
So I pretend, only I'm pretending differently this time. Pretending I can handle it. Pretending I can smile. Pretending I'm strong and not falling apart at the seams. Pretending I have hope.
...
And every day it gets harder and harder to pretend.
...
And one day I just can't pretend anymore.
That heart wrenching, bone deep depression isn't getting better and I want to scream. I'm done doing the hoping, the chasing, the rescuing. I can't handle it anymore. This depression is grating deeper and deeper until finally—
I'm sorry. I just can't bear it anymore.
I'm done pretending.