SUMMARY: Written through the eyes of Adam Ruzek. ***SPOILERS For Season 1 Episode, "At Least It's Justice".
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The characters of Chicago P.D. do not belong to me, and I do not own the rights to them (sadly). :( I just like playing with them. ;) All ideas belong to Angel Estrada at Stokes Fanficz (and AdamRuzek on Twitter), so please don't plagiarize! This is my first CPD one-shot, so please be gentle. :) ...Oh yeah, and this is completely un-beta'd. :) Feedback (As well as Con-Crit) is very much welcomed. :) ***SPOILERS For Season 1 Episode, "At Least It's Justice"***

It happened so fast. Just when I thought I might have control, the situation backfired... literally. I always did enjoy being the lead though.

People underestimate the rookies. Yeah, I had fun in the academy. Who the hell am I kidding? I had a freakin' blast! But you know what? I worked HARD. I gave it my all. I've never wanted anything more in my life than to become a police officer... and to work in intelligence? Well, damn. Dreams really do come true.

Last night though... I don't even know where to begin. We had the son-of-a-bitch cornered. How he even got shots off with all of us firing right at him is beyond me... but he did... and I wasn't afraid... until I felt the pressure in my chest and my body involuntarily fall to the ground.

I saw everything. I saw Wendy and I getting married. I saw us having kids. I saw our kids getting married. My entire life flashed before my eyes. I was terrified. I couldn't catch my breath... and then she grabbed me.

Lindsay.

She said I was okay, that my vest stopped the bullet, but I still couldn't breathe... and I've never felt pain that intense in my life.

I was grateful.

I thought I was dying.

The whole time, all I could think about was what a horrible person I was for putting my fiancée through the agony of not knowing whether or not I was coming home every night...

And Burgess.

My God, is she pretty... and she gets me, you know? Wendy's all about getting this wedding off the ground, and I'm not sure I can commit anymore... I'm not sure I want to. I tried to talk to Al, but we were all exhausted last night and in a hurry to get home.

I'm confused by everything. I'm pretty good at not letting things get to me. Hell, I haven't thought once about that guy I capped since it happened. Call me insensitive, but if you let that stuff bother you, you'll never make it in this profession. It's not an ego thing. It's called distancing yourself and not getting attached.

Yeah, I care.

I care about justice. You gotta do what you gotta do. It's all just part of the job. Who knows? Maybe, one day, it'll catch up to me, but for now, I'm just enjoying the ride... I just wish I had the answers that I'm looking for.