I'm falling in the ashes of my past. The horrible feelings are coming back to my body even when I try to bury it deep in the back of my heart, but now it's coming back like it was yesterday.
It only seems like it was yesterday that I told my dad I was gay and we had that huge fight that made me go onto my motorcycle and tour the world. Like yesterday where I thought I met my dream man and we did it and he left. Like Yesterday when my heart wanted to give up.
And today…today I'm standing on the biggest bridge of Santa Barbra wanting to jump off, right now I'm feeling the wind coming off from the side of it coming into my hair. Today was the day I needed to end my life, right now is the day and time that I need to end my life.
A month ago I remember when I solved all the cases and Lassie was getting mad. Yesterday is the day I let it all go and kissed him, he looked as if in horror and I ran so today is when I want to kill myself, I'm not worthy to stay on this earth no one will love me for who I am.
I climbed onto the railing of the bridge looking over at the water I began to step off when someone came up behind me. " Shawn don't!" I turned to see Gus, Jules, Dad, and Lassie all standing there. " What are you doing?" Gus asked coming up to me.
" Ending my life." I told him honestly. " It's the only way for anyone to be happy."
" You think leaping off this bridge will make everyone happy? What about me?" Gus asked. " You're like my brother I will be so upset if you got hurt."
I looked out to everyone standing there even Lassie. " You're my son Shawn you can't do this!" Dad said coming closer to me too. " I can't let you."
" All my life you chose all of my paths for me, this time it's my turn." I said turning back to the water. I turned around on the railing looking at all of them.
" Shawn please!" Juliet said as the tears came. " You can't do this to yourself, we all love you." I shook my head looking at Lassie.
" No all of you, not all of you could love me the way I am." I said opening my arms. " Goodbye."
Today, Today was the day I killed myself.
Ok so it's not over there is to be another chapter, this is my first time writing in fan fiction so I'm not very good. Tell me what you think. J Please don't be to mean. J