Title: I don't know how I feel
Author: Kaylee's Teddy
Rating: R for angst, f/f pairing and dirty language
Spoilers: Through 2x15 just to be safe.
Summery: Brittany is ready to be honest, Santana isn't. Set somewhere between "never been kissed" and "sexy"
Disclaimer: I do not own Brittany, Santana or anything else Glee related.
"San…" You whisper cuddled against her in bed, your head against her shoulder mumbling your words into her collarbone. "Do you love me?" You murmur and you feel her stiffen against you. "Sure." She says dismissively "We're friends." You sigh against her shoulder, let go and prop yourself up on your elbow so you can look at her while you talk. "No, "you…say tracing your fingers lightly against her abdomen, trying to figure out a way to ask that she can't run from. "Artie told me he loved me." You mutter lifting your eyes to hers, trying to see her reaction. Her eyes go hard, she pulls into herself and turns away from you, "Yeah well...guys will say anything when they're inside you." She says to the wall. You crumple, wonder how she's managed to call you a whore and Artie an asshole all in one sentence. "It wasn't like that." you say quietly tears spilling out of your eyes. You don't want her to take this away from you, the sweetness of it. Nobody's every told you they love you before, not counting orgasm moments, which as Santana keeps reminding you…don't count. So how could you know it would be so nice? That it would fill you with such joy? Even if it wasn't from the person you'd been expecting it. "It wasn't like that." You repeat crying harder now, reaching for her in the dark. She let's you wrap her in your arms, your tears marking a wet spot against her back. You know she's sorry when she puts her hands over yours and holds on tight. You wish you could let that be enough.