Title: Pendulum
Disclaimer: I don't own anything…please no flames..
Summary: There are things in life we wish we didn't do and now with every swing of the pendulum, she wishes she take it back.
"Sakura," he called her name to get her attention, "You see I've been thinking about it for a long time," he continued as she kept her attention to him. "We've been for a little while now," he added and stopped to look at her.
She stared blankly at him. As if she didn't hear a single word he said. "Stop," she broke her silence.
He looked at her with confusion. Even with only one eye visible to the others, Sakura could tell that he was confused.
"I too have been thinking about it," she said icily. "Ever since we've been together, a lot has changed," she sighed and removed the stray strands of pink hair on her face. She bit her lower lip and frowned as if she were trying to organize her thoughts through these.
Kakashi took the chance of this silence, "I understand that…"
"No you don't," she cut him off. She didn't want to listen to his explanation. She wanted to make her own point. This time she wanted him to get it straight to his head and stop pretending that everything was going to be alright. "Ever since I married you, my life has changed drastically." She continued without looking at how he reacted. "Look at you, you're 14 my senior, not to mention my long time sensei and heck you gave up your ninja life so you could be with me." She said platonically.
He held her wrists lightly so he wouldn't hurt her. "Sakura, could we talk about this at home? We're catching others' attention." He suggested with a loving and understanding voice despite the tensing and detrimental situation he was in with his wife.
She pulled her wrists from his light grip "Home?! We have no home, Kakashi." She snapped.
He was confused. He didn't know how to keep himself together. "Now this is what I don't understand, why are you saying all these?" he asked with much puzzlement in his voice.
"Because ever since I was with you, I've lost my hope of ever becoming a well respected med-nin." She exclaimed with much anger. She looked at him with fierceness and hurt in her eyes. "When I married you, my friends changed and my career…it just went down the drains. Everything changed just because I married my sensei. In this world, people really are biased. But I guess it can't be helped right? Who the hell would be in their right mind to marry their sensei who's 14 years their senior." She said almost crying. She couldn't help but take out her frustration.
"If you feel like I'm restraining you from doing what you love then I'll change…just tell me…don't be like this. You're not alone in facing these pressures. I want you to know that." He tried with the last calmness he had to explain and calm his wife down.
"No! I've had enough of all these." Se furiously shouted at him. "Now I know, marrying you was the biggest mistake!" Sakura made her point and left the dejected Kakashi. She didn't even take a second to look at how she hurt him.
Sakura stared at the pendulum clock in her room and sighed, "4:30," she whispered to herself. She could see light finally cutting open the dark sky.
She couldn't sleep. She's been awake all night trying to get a decent rest. She did just get home from a very tiring mission and all she wanted was an eye shutter. She tossed and turned hoping for the last remaining ours of dawn that she would fall asleep. She positioned herself where she could clearly look at the swinging pendulum.
With nothing on her mind, she clearly remembered what had happened 2 years back. Something she wished she had never done.
After that incident, Kakashi had gone back to being a jonin and she had regained her rightful position in the field of medical ninjutsu. With that, she proved that people around her were biased with the relationship she and Kakashi were having or at least the relationship they once shared. But 8 months after they had resumed to their normal lives, terrible news arrived saying that Kakashi was one of the most unexpected casualty in the all out war with another village.
Yes, it had been 2 years but all those words uttered echoed in her mind every single moment of that 2 years. She was neither his nor he was hers. She had lost him forever. She knows she wouldn't be able to hold him close. She wouldn't be able to hear his usual annoying voice. She wouldn't be able to say how sorry she was for saying those to him.
And now, she's left alone to face the aftermath of their separation as well as his untimely death. She sobbed and wiped her tears. "Kakashi," she whispered with a broken voice. "I'm so sorry," she repeated these words to herself for the past 2 years yet still she was unable to find redemption from her guilt and comfort for what she did.
With every swing of the pendulum, she wished she could take it all back. Take back what she had said and done 2 years ago.
END
A.N.: Thanks for reading. Please read and review…thanks again! Please no flames.