Disclaimer: I don't own any characters affiliated with Law and Order: SVU; they belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

Summary: Takes place right after the episode 'Guilt'. What would happen if Olivia had gone to comfort Alex after the ADA's meeting with Donnelly?

Chapter 1

Olivia looked at the door in front of her, the door to Alex Cabot's apartment. She had only been here once before, but when she flashed her badge to the security guard in the lobby and said that she needed to see Alex, he had let her pass without a second glance.

Olivia snapped herself out of her stupor and realized that she had yet to knock on the door in front of her. She lifted her hand and knocked on the door, not banging but hard enough that she would be heard.

No response. She knocked again. Still nothing. "Alex," Olivia said as she knocked again with a little more force.

Alex heard the knocking when it started, but made no move off of the couch where she sat. Ever since her meeting with Donnelly earlier that day, the one that had ended in her one month suspension with no pay, Alex had been in a kind of catatonic state. Her mind was filled with thoughts of Sam Cavanaugh and what her pushing had resulted in. She thought about how she had endangered not only her own job, but the jobs of both Olivia and Elliot when she told them that she had a search warrant for the Cavanaugh residence, when in fact she didn't. A very brief and quick smile crossed her lips at the thought of how when the detectives had found out that there had been no search warrant; they had attempted to cover for her and defended her.

"Alex."

Alex turned her head toward the door when she heard the familiar voice of Detective Olivia Benson. If there was one person that she would let herself be seen by right now, it was Olivia. The detective could always seem to cheer her up when she needed it and was always there when she needed someone to talk to.

Alex thought about how much closer they had gotten over the past year. There had been casual dinners and after work drinks. At first they had only talked about work, but as they grew more comfortable around each other they had opened up a little bit about their personal lives.

She was pulled out of her thinking, once again, by Olivia's voice on the other side of the door, "Alex, I'm not leaving until you let me in. I'll stay out here all night until you open the door."

Alex pushed herself off the couch and softly padded her way to the door. She unlocked it and pulled it open. What she saw was Olivia Benson, standing there with a bag of what appeared to be food and a small smile playing at her lips.

"I knew that you wouldn't leave me out here all night." Olivia said as she picked up the bag of food and walked into the apartment.

"Well, what would my neighbors think if they saw a strange woman sitting by my door all night? Which reminds me, how did you get up here? Did you flash your badge?" Alex questioned as she closed and locked the door and turned to Olivia, who had made her way to the kitchen and was pulling items out of the bag.

Olivia had a little grin on her face as she responded, "Maybe."

"Uh huh. What's all this?" Alex said gesturing toward all of the food that was now spread out on her kitchen island.

"Why Counselor, I thought that you would know what Chinese take-out looks like." Olivia said as she looked at Alex with a smirk on her face.

After a look from Alex, Olivia continued, "I haven't seen you since before your meeting with Donnelly and figured that you probably haven't really eaten today, so I decided to bring you some food."

"Some? You honestly think that I can eat all of that?" Alex said, once again gesturing to the food. All the while, trying to ignore the thoughts that seemed to replay through her mind, showing the events that had led up to her meeting with Donnelly.

"No, of course not. I'm hungry too." Olivia said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood that had seemed to darken. She had seen the pained look that had come across Alex's face at the mention of her meeting with Donnelly. She would get to that later; her mission right now was to make sure that Alex ate.

"Come on let's eat."

A little while later both women were sitting at opposite ends of Alex's large couch. They had both eaten as much as they could and had put the leftovers in the fridge.

Olivia looked at Alex, who was staring into space, and quietly asked, "What happened with Donnelly?"

Alex looked at Olivia before going back to staring at the empty spot on the wall. "I get a month's suspension, without pay. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself; all I do is work, now for 30 days I have to do anything but that. But I deserve it. Actually, I deserve much worse than that."

"Alex, it's not your fault what happened with Sam Cavanaugh." Olivia said leaning forward and gently placing her hand on one of Alex's knees, which were pulled against her, arms wrapped around them as if trying to protect herself from the world.

"Isn't it?" Alex asked as she turned to face Olivia. What Olivia saw when Alex turned her head, broke her heart. Alex's eyes were filled with tears and some had even managed to escape down her cheeks. Her eyes held so much sorrow.

"No Alex. It's not your fault. Sam made his own choices."

Alex turned her head away again. "But I pushed him and he took the only way out that he could think of. You should've let his mother hit me at the hospital, I deserved it."

Olivia shook her head. She squeezed her hand that was still on Alex's knee. "Alex, look at me." Alex shook her head. "Lex…please look at me."

Alex looked at Olivia, the tears still trailing down her face. Olivia locked eyes with her, watery blue depths meeting understanding brown. "Alex you don't deserve to be hit or anything like that because of Sam, because none of that was your fault. You didn't know. You were just trying to do your job. Sam chose to stop fighting and give up, but you kept fighting for him and all of Roy Barnett's other victims. You didn't do anything wrong. Nothing. It's not your fault, so please stop blaming yourself."

Alex looked into those soulful brown eyes trying to see if there was any malice, but found none. All she saw were the truth of Olivia's words shining back at her. Without thinking about it she threw herself at Olivia for a very fierce hug. It took Olivia a second to overcome the shock of Alex Cabot hugging her before she reciprocated the embrace.

Alex let go. All of the tears that she had been holding back, finally came out. Without realizing it Alex repositioned herself so that she was straddling Olivia's lap. Olivia didn't notice either. She just continued running her hands up and down Alex's back and whispering words of comfort in her ear.

Alex clutched at Olivia as if there was a tornado whipping around and Olivia was the one indestructible thing that would stay standing through it all.

After about an hour, Alex finally calmed down and had stopped crying. During the entire ordeal, Olivia never once stopped her soothing motions or comforting words.

Alex pulled back slightly and raised her head to look at Olivia. She saw the care and concern clearly written in the deep brown pools, that were Olivia's eyes.

Olivia had stopped whispering her words of comfort when Alex had pulled back, but she hadn't stopped her soothing hand motions.

Alex held Olivia's gaze for a moment before whispering, "Thanks."

"No problem Lex." Alex smiled at Liv's use of her nickname.

It was then that Alex took in her current location, which happened to be her straddling Olivia's lap. When Alex realized this, she felt her cheeks flush crimson. She mentally cursed her pale complexion for being unable to hide the blush.

Alex kept her head down, trying to fight the blush, but to no avail.

Olivia noticed that Alex's cheeks had taken on a bright pink color and that the blond refused to look up. She was trying to figure out what Alex's problem was so she said, "Alex," in an attempt to get the blond to raise her head.

Alex just shook her head and kept it down. Olivia moved her own and finally caught Alex's eyes with hers. "Lex, what's wrong?"

For a minute, Alex didn't say anything and then she said, "I didn't realize that I had climbed on top of you during my breakdown." Another flush made its way to her cheeks.

For the first time, Olivia took in the position that they were in, she let out a sigh to try and calm her heartbeat which had seemed to increase when she realized that Alex was straddling her lap and she had her arms around the woman.

Olivia mentally smacked herself to remind her that this was not that kind of situation. She had been comforting Alex, nothing more than that, even though secretly she wanted her relationship with Alex to be one of a more romantic nature.

After a minute of silence and thinking, Olivia responded to Alex's earlier statement. "Hey. It's no big deal. Nothing to be embarrassed about. If I had minded, I would have moved you. Okay?"

Alex stayed silent, but nodded her head, signaling that she understood.

"Now that that's settled, I think that you should go to bed and get some sleep."

Alex found herself reluctant to move from her spot on Olivia's lap and even though she responded, "Okay," to Olivia's statement, she made no attempt to move from her current position. The truth was that she felt comfortable and safe and she didn't want to give that up at the moment. Well, that and she surreptitiously liked being that close to Olivia.

Olivia smirked at Alex and then said, "Lex, in order to go to bed that means that you have to get to the bed, which means you have to move."

Alex couldn't believe that she was acting like a teenager, but she did it anyway. She looked at Liv and shook her head before saying, "Don't wanna' move. I'm comfy." After she finished speaking, she laid her head on Olivia's shoulder.

To say that Olivia was shocked at Alex's behavior was an understatement; she had never seen anything other than the hardass ADA persona that she witnessed in the courtroom and the always collected persona of Alexandra Cabot. In fact, she would bet a whole year's salary that almost no one, if anyone, had seen this side of Alex Cabot before. She let a smile cross her face at the thought that Alex was obviously comfortable enough with her to show her the vulnerable side of her.

"Lex, don't you think that you would be more comfortable in your bed than on my lap for the rest of the night?"

Alex mumbled against Liv's shoulder, "Maybe."

"Alex, don't make me carry you to bed," Olivia said.

Alex's head snapped up from its position on Olivia's shoulder, the shock and disbelief evident on her face. She quirked one perfectly sculpted eyebrow at the detective.

"You wouldn't dare." Alex said with a slight question in her voice.

She noticed the lights dancing in Olivia's eyes as the brunette replied, "Are you sure about that Counselor? Stay where you are for another minute and you'll find out."

Alex was trying to gauge Liv's seriousness, but she had never seen this side of the mysterious detective before, so she didn't know what to expect.

Apparently, she spent too long thinking about it because the next thing she knew, she was up in the air, being supported by Olivia, who had her hands under Alex's thighs.

Alex instinctively wrapped her legs around Olivia's waist, who had to swallow the moan that the move invoked. Alex still had her arms wrapped around Liv's neck and was hanging on for the ride. Olivia began to make her way down the hallway, which she assumed led the way to Alex's bedroom.

Alex looked at Liv in shock as the detective began to walk, with ease, to her bedroom while carrying her. She could feel herself getting wet from the detective's display and vaguely wondered if Liv could feel it since her center was pressed against the detective's stomach.

Olivia pulled Alex out of her thoughts when she spoke. "Bedroom?"

Alex noticed that Olivia's voice had taken on a slightly deeper tone than it normally had and she liked it, she also wandered what had caused the change in tone. "The door on the right," Alex replied to Olivia's question.

Olivia nodded her acknowledgement and continued on her way to the bedroom. When she got to the door, she pushed it open with her foot and walked in. She walked over next to the bed and moved her hands from their supportive hold on Alex's thighs, to the ADA's waist, silently asking her to put her feet on the floor.

Alex got the message and reluctantly unwrapped her legs from around the detective and slid down Olivia's body until her feet touched the floor.

Alex's body sliding down her own caused every nerve ending in Olivia to wake up. Her body felt as if it was on fire.

Her hands had moved lower on Alex's waist of their own accord, and she was currently staring into those blue eyes, which she noticed had taken on a darker hue.

"Get ready for bed Counselor," Olivia said in a huskier tone than normal. Alex noticed this and locked eyes with Olivia. She noticed that those eyes were a darker brown than normal and that there was a hint of something else there, but she didn't know what. "I'll come back in and check on you before I leave. I'm going to finish cleaning up." Olivia said as she headed back out the door.

"You don't have to do that Liv. I can do it." Alex said taking a step towards Olivia.

"Lex, get ready for bed." Olivia said in a voice that left no room for argument. Instead of arguing, like she would normally do, Alex just nodded her head in acceptance. Olivia walked out of the bedroom and closed the door.

Alex could hear Olivia making her way down the hall to the kitchen and could hear Olivia as she started to load the dishes from dinner into the dishwasher and turn it on.

She walked into her adjoining bathroom and brushed her teeth and then came back into her bedroom to get her pajamas out and put them on, which consisted of a spaghetti string tank top and the pair of comfy pants that she currently had on.

Alex had just climbed in under her comfortable covers when there was a soft knock on her door, the ghost of a smile was on her lips as she said, "Come in."

Olivia opened the door and poked her head inside as if to make sure that Alex was indeed decent before completely entering the room. When she noticed that the ADA was already tucked under the covers, she allowed a small smile to cross her lips at the sight.

"Everything is cleaned up and put away." Olivia said as she made her way into the room.

"Thanks." Alex said, then paused for a moment before speaking the next no higher than a whisper, "For everything."

Olivia smiled and said, "It was my pleasure and you're welcome."

There was a brief moment of comfortable silence before Olivia decided to break it. "Well, if you're all set, I'm going to head out," she said as she headed for the doorway.

"Liv."

The sound of her nickname from Alex's lips not only made her stop in her tracks, but also caused her to melt a little on the inside.

She turned around and faced Alex, but she didn't see the hardass, confident ADA that she was used to; instead she saw the vulnerable side of Alex Cabot, the one that she had caught glimpses of tonight. "Yeah?"

Alex looked down at her covered lap and around the room before finally speaking. "Would you…um…would you stay with me? I just don't want to be alone right now."

Olivia tried not to show any of her emotions on her face, but her eyes clearly showed how surprised and happy she was at this request.

Alex waited for an answer from the dark haired detective. After a moment Olivia finally answered, "I'll stay."

Alex let out the breath that she had unconsciously been holding while awaiting Olivia's answer. She then looked at Olivia's clothes, which consisted of jeans and a t-shirt. She frowned, knowing that sleeping in jeans was not a comfortable experience. "I have some sweatpants that should fit you, so that you don't have to sleep in your jeans," Alex said as she got out from under the covers and walked over to her dresser and pulled out a pair of grey sweatpants.

"Here you go. And I'll get you a spare toothbrush." Alex said as she headed into the bathroom, only to come out seconds later with a toothbrush in hand, and handed it to Olivia.

"Are you trying to tell me something Counselor?" Olivia asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"No. I just thought that you might want to brush your teeth." The ADA stated in the voice that was usually used in the courtroom.

Olivia smirked at the ADA again and put her hands up in a kind of surrender. "Okay Counselor. I apologize for making assumptions."

Alex smiled at the detective and said, "Go brush your teeth and change."

Olivia did a mock salute and went into the bathroom. She was back in five minutes and the sight that greeted her made her breath catch in her throat. Alex looked like an angel. Her silky blond hair fanned out around her head acting as a halo. Olivia couldn't help but stare. She took in Alex's features and stopped her eyes' travel on the slightly pouty lips of the ADA.

Olivia was brought out of her thoughts of kissing those lips when she heard Alex's voice. "Do I have something on my face?"

Olivia's eyes immediately snapped to Alex's, which were now open. She could feel a light flush and was happy for her dark complexion.

"No. Is the guestroom across the hall?" Olivia asked in order to get her mind away from more pleasurable thoughts of Alex.

"Yes." Alex mentally smacked herself. She hadn't been clear when she had asked Olivia to stay the night. "Liv."

Once again, Olivia stopped and turned to face Alex. She didn't even speak, just raised an eyebrow silently asking what Alex wanted.

"Would you stay in here with me?"

Olivia thought that her heart was going to explode, it was beating so fast. She was sure that it was loud enough for Alex to hear as well.

"Yes," was all that Olivia said as she made her way over next to the bed. She was still uncertain, but then mentally slapped herself and said that everything would be fine and that all she had to do was stay on her side of the bed.

She climbed in and Alex switched off the bedside lamp. "Goodnight Liv."

"Goodnight Lex."

A/N: This is my first story, so please read and review.