L had won.
Why wasn't he as happy as he thought he'd be?
He wanted to catch Kira. That was his goal, and he had just accomplished it. He didn't feel the slightest bit of excitement or pride. He felt nothing but his world crumbling around him.
It was the middle of the night, and everyone else was sleeping soundly. Even Light, who shared the bed with L due to their current situation with the handcuffs, was fast asleep.
L stared at the man sleeping next to him. He had never considered himself gay. He had hardly ever given the idea of being in a relationship a second thought, He had never before been in love, nor had he been on the receiving side of it. He had never even had a friend before Light. Social situations had never been the detective's strong suit, and he was aware of that.
But the more he came to know Light, the more the idea of love crossed L's mind. He often caught himself letting his mind wander to what it would be like to put his arms around Light's waist and hold him close. He wondered what it would be like to kiss Light on the forehead, or the tip of the nose, or directly on the lips. Those thoughts were something he would never admit, especially not out loud.
These recurring thoughts struck L once again. He needed to get up, away from Light. He wanted the thoughts to go away, and he couldn't make them go away if the man he loved was sleeping next to him. He slowly removed his side of the handcuffs and connected it to the headboard. He hesitated for a moment, and then climbed out of bed. He crept into the bathroom attached to the room they shared and shut the door.
He flipped the light switch. He squinted, letting his eyes adjust to the brightness. He stood there, taking it all in, when he spotted Light's watch at the edge of the sink.
He walked slowly towards it, as though he was hypnotized. He extended two long fingers and picked it up by the edge of the strap. He put it around his wrist and admired it. It looked like any other watch, but it was Light's, and that's all that mattered to L.
He absentmindedly fidgeted with it while considering how Light would react if he walked in on him. He pushed it up and down his arm, turned it around and around, and then he pulled the pin out and pushed it back in. He repeated the action a couple times, until he noticed something.
The secret compartment opened. L stared at it for a while, examining its contents.
There was a small, torn off piece of paper. A piece of paper containing two or three names, written in tiny letters so Light could fit them all on there.
The names were all of criminals: criminals who died of heart attacks.
L was fully awake now after the shock. Light was Kira. He had been right all along. Too bad he didn't want to be.
He felt dizzy. He sat down on the cold tile floor, and felt something warm trickle down his cheeks.
L had never really cried. He had felt sad, disappointed, and angry many times before, but he never let himself cry.
He didn't know what else to do but stare at the wall. He hugged his knees against his chest and let the tears flow. He tried to cry quietly, so to not wake Light.
Light, who he loved. Light, his first friend. Light, who was a murderer, and wanted to kill him.
L had never felt more betrayed.