This picks up 10 years after the series finale. Apologies to all the Kenny/Max fans out there…this is a take on her starting over after losing Kenny. She moved to Chicago, so their kids could be close to his family.

Present:

"Mommy!"

Max looked up and smiled at her eight-year old and six-year old daughters chasing each other into the living room. "What are you doing?"

"Regan is being mean," Natalie said. "She won't let me play with her."

Max put her book down and looked at them both, ignoring the dull pain in her heart. They are getting so grown up. "Regan, don't be mean to your sister."

"Mom," she whined, flopping down on the couch next to her. "She's a baby."

"Ah, she just wants to be like you, Kiddo. Cut her some slack."

"Do we have to go to Grandma's house?"

"It's Sunday. You know we go every Sunday night for dinner. What's up, Regan?"

She snuggled closer to Max's side. "All she does is talk about Daddy."

Max wrapped her arm around her and gave her a long squeeze. She does…it's getting harder and harder. I miss him, I'll always miss him, he took a huge chunk of me with him when he died. No, this is for our kids. I must be okay for them. "I know."

"I don't remember Daddy."

Max kissed the top of her head, as Natalie climbed up on the couch with her. Oh, and this one, I was nine months pregnant with her when he died. He never even knew her. My girls. Moved to Chicago so they could be close to his family, took this nine to five job so I can raise them, and we're good. "I know you don't. He loved both of you, he loved you before you were even born. Your grandparents love you too, and they miss him."

"Do you miss Daddy?"

He was the love of my life, my very best friend, the father of my children. "Every day."

"But, Mom, you don't talk about him all the time like Grandma and cry."

"I'll tell you anything you want about your dad."

"Grandma makes me sad talking about Dad. Mom, you make me happy when you do. You tell us stories about him. Mom, are you sad?"

Oh, she is wise beyond her years, Max thought. "Sometimes. Seeing the two of you makes your grandma very happy."

"I want a story about you and Daddy," Natalie piped up. "A fun one."

"Me too," Regan said. "I love you, Mom."

Six Years Ago

"Put your hands up!" Kenny said. "Freeze."

"You think you can take me, Deputy?"

Using his children as a shield, him high on PCP. Waving a gun around. "Just let your children walk away. You don't want to hurt them."

"You're not taking my children!"

Kenny looked at the bleeding out woman on the floor before the sobbing kids in his arms. "They're scared."

He kept the gun leveled at Kenny, as he shoved them off his lap. "Put your gun down and they can go. If not, they'll end up like my wife. Kick it over here."

He looked at the kids again, thinking of Max almost nine months pregnant with their second daughter and almost two-year old Regan at home. I'd die to protect them. Kicking his gun across the room. "Let them go."

"Never!" he screamed, firing at him. "You'll never stop me!"

Present:

I should tell them, Max thought, looking at her daughters playing with their grandfather, uncle and cousins in the yard, as she chopped vegetables with Sharon and Melanie. He does love them, he reminds me so much of Kenny. They've treated me like their daughter since day one, and…Oh, how do I tell her this? I'm her son's widow. Regan and Natalie don't really know…they think we're just friends. That she's their baby-sitter when we go out. That it's getting serious…that I'm really falling for him. How do I do this?

"Oh, Max," Sharon sighed. "They look so much like Kenny."

They look like themselves, she thought, such a mix of us. "They're pretty great."

"Are you really sending Regan away this summer? I'll miss her so much."

"It's a two-week swim camp…I know she's eight, but she's pretty fast. She's so excited, Sharon. She's already packing, and I keep telling her she has two months."

"What if something happens to her?"

"Regan is a pretty solid eight-year old," she trailed off. Stubborn and hardheaded like her mother, very athletic like her father. "It's hard for me to let her go, but…I'm not going to keep them under lock and key. I want them to experience life."

"Mommy!" Natalie called, running into the kitchen and hugging her. Ignoring her grandmother and aunt, she tugged on her mom's hands. "Mommy, come play with us! The game that Kara taught us."

"Who is Kara?" Melanie asked, sliding the carrots into the salad. "Is she a friend of yours?"

"No, she's our baby-sitter. She's fun."

"Max, you don't need a baby-sitter. We're always available to watch the girls."

You make my girls sad, she thought, nothing but talk of their dead father. I will always love Kenny, but even I feel drained Sunday nights. Videos, pictures, it's practically a shrine here. "Kara is a friend's daughter. She wants to make some pocket money, she's great with Natalie and Regan, she's a really good kid."

"How well do you know her? Where are you going when you leave them with this teenager?"

Out with her dad, Max thought, I can't do this yet. They want me mourning Kenny forever…I'll always miss him. It's been six years and…we were so happy. This, it's different, we're different. I'm not a kid anymore. God, I'm almost 40. "Out with friends, running errands, just stuff."

"Kara is pretty," Natalie said. "We bake cookies."

"She and Regan are on the same swim team. Different levels and stuff, but," Max trailed off. "Which my little ballerina may be interested in too."

Natalie twirled in a circle. "Regan says I'm too slow."

"Your sister is very competitive."

"Just like her father. Nat, do you know your father played five sports?"

"You told me, Grandma. I saw all his trophies. Mommy, can you teach them Kara's game? Regan is doing it wrong."

I don't even know what Kara was playing with them. Something about the tree, a ball, yelling colors and animals. I think she was making it up as she went, while we drank wine on the porch and he grilled. Kara knows, she saw us kissing, and teased her father mercilessly about it. "Let me finish up in here, Kiddo."

"Max," Sharon said. "I was watching your wedding video. I think the girls would love to see it again."

We watch it every other week, if we're not watching other Lacos' home videos. "I think they know that one pretty well. I kind of want to just let them play with their cousins tonight. We have a pretty busy week coming up."

"They should know their father."

Regan was two, Natalie was still in me, when he died. I couldn't even function… Sharon and Hank were there for me, every day. I left Rome, moved here to be by Kenny's family…my family and I've never regretted it. "They know how much he loved them and is always watching over them."

"Of course, they know that," Melanie said, catching her sister in law's eye. "Regan and Natalie are very loved."

"I don't like you leaving them with a baby-sitter, especially some teenager. What if something happens?"

While I'm out with her dad, she thought, even if we just go around the corner to their house to have sex…where he cooks me dinner. I do love being with him…is it love? Oh, I don't if I ready to say those words yet.

6 Years Ago

That's my baby, Max thought, stroking back Regan's dark hair as she slept. Not really a baby anymore, she thought, looking at her bulging pregnant stomach. You're going to be such a great big sister to this one. Jumping slightly at the doorbell, she leaned down to kiss her cheek. "Good-night, Sweetheart."

This is kind of neat, she thought, catching sight of herself in the mirror and rubbing her pregnant belly again. How can I be growing a person in me? It was weird with Regan and it's weird with this one. Oh, I can't wait to meet our second daughter. Opening the door, she felt her heart drop to her knees. Don't panic…it could be nothing. It has to be nothing. "Jimmy?"

He looked at his deputy for a long moment, all of 33, nine months pregnant, standing barefoot in nothing but a sweatshirt and leggings. "Max, can we come in?"

She looked at Jill and back at him. "What happened?"

"Max," Jill said. "You should probably sit."

She shook her head, resting her hand on her stomach. "I don't want to know."

"Max," she said again, as she stepped back, the fear clear on her face.

"No!"

"Oh, Max," Jill said, wrapping her arms around her young friend. "It's going to be okay."

She shook her head and pushed her away. "What happened?"

Jimmy looked at her again, as she sunk onto the couch. "Max, he went into a domestic situation, where the man was high on PCP, he already shot his wife and was holding a gun on his kids. He saved those kids, Max, but…I'm so sorry. Max, he…Oh, Max."

She let out noise she didn't know that she was capable of as Jimmy ripped out her heart with his words. Feeling the hot tears on her cheeks, she didn't resist, as Jill hugged her on the couch, as she felt her own life ending with his.

Present

"You know how much my mother loves you and your girls," Melanie said, as they sat on the back porch. "And how much she still misses Kenny."

Max nodded, looking at her laughing kids. "I'll always miss him. It's hard sometimes to come here…it's all she wants to talk about."

"Have you moved on?"

She smiled and shrugged. "I felt really guilty for wanting to. Moving here six years ago is something that I'll never regret. You guys are my family, the girls love their cousins, and it was a fresh start for us. I'll always love Kenny, but I can't…I can't just be his widow for your mom."

"Are you seeing someone? I know you've had random dates over the years, that really didn't…you don't really talk about it."

"How do I bring it up here?"

"Kenny was my big brother, and I know how much you two loved each other. You're my friend, Max, and I know he would want you to be happy. He would want you to move on, to find someone else to make you happy."

She bit her lip and looked at her bare ring finger. I cried like a baby the day I put my wedding rings in a box. "It's very new. We're going slowly."

"Do Regan and Natalie know?"

"Not really. They've met him. They think he's my friend, and I guess he is. I think Regan is catching on that it's more and Nat really likes him. We were friends before we decided we wanted…I really like him," Max trailed off. "I think I'm afraid to be happy again…His wife died too. We're both a little nervous about…I really click with him."

6 Years Ago

Max held her new daughter, as Regan sat pressed to her side on the couch. One week old, she thought, swallowing back her tears. My perfect and beautiful Natalie. Who will never know her dad and…I can't do this. No, for them, Regan and Natalie, I'm never leaving them. I'll devote my entire life to them. No, I'm not that person. I won't smother them, they'll grow up experiencing life, I'll tell them all about their father. I can't leave them like that. Am I really thinking about doing this? I can't be that impulsive.

"You need to eat."

She shook her head, looking back at her kids. "Jill, I'm fine."

She didn't cry at his funeral, Jill thought, or when she had Natalie. Even now, with her new baby and toddler, she looks dead herself. On indefinite leave, until she's ready to come back to work, she got widow's benefits from the department and she looks like she wants to crawl into bed and never come out. "You are not fine."

"How can I be?"

Jill sat down next to her, watching as she shifted a breastfeeding Natalie slightly. "You have beautiful children. Friends and family who love you. Max, you're not alone in this."

"We were supposed to be together forever."

"Max."

"He wasn't supposed to die. He wasn't supposed to leave me."

"Oh, Honey," Jill said, as Regan climbed in her mom's lap and hugged her. "He didn't want to."

"I need him."

"Max."

"I can't do this alone," she whimpered, hugging her kids close to her. "I want Kenny, Jill. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and this will all be a nightmare. I didn't know I could hurt this much."

She hugged her young friend for a long moment. "I know. You're not alone."

Yes, I am, she thought. I'll never love anyone again.

Present:

"Grandma made me look at Daddy's yearbook and cried again," Regan said, flopping on a chair on their back porch. "Mom, I don't want to go to Grandma's house again. I'm tired of her crying over my dad."

"Me too," Natalie said, sitting next to her sister. "She makes me cry."

Max sat across from them, more burnt out from it than she wanted to admit. "Why don't we take next Sunday off? We have no swim meets and dance class, right?"

"We were going to go camping, with Kara and her dad," Regan piped up. "Are we, Mom? Really? That would be so much fun."

That would be a huge step, she thought, I think I need to tell them first. "I think we are."

"Are they coming over for dessert tonight?"

Max glanced at her watch before back at her kids. "Like they do every Sunday?"

"Mommy, is Kara's dad your boyfriend?" Regan asked. "I asked Kara and she just laughed. I like him."

Oh, crap, she thought, crap. "Um, I like him too. What would you think if he was?"

Regan smiled and jumped up and hugged her. "Is that why you smile more, Mom? You're not sad about dad?"

He makes me happy, she thought, I never would we would have reconnected like this. I thought I'd be okay with just my kids, until we randomly met at the pool. Oh, I am falling for the guy. Nope, already fallen completely…and they live around the corner from us. "Listen, I loved your dad and he loved you both so much. This will never change that."

"I'm not stupid, Mom. I know that," Regan stated, jumping up. "Kara! Is that a cake?"

Max looked up, as Regan and Natalie ran to meet Kara and her dad who were walking up their driveway. Smiling, she brushed her palms on her jeans, and crossed the yard to them. Smiling, she took his offered hand. "Hi."

"Hi yourself. How was dinner?"

She shook her head. "The same as it always is. Hi, Kara."

"Hi, Max!" she called, as Regan and Natalie chased her across the yard. "Oh, you two little monsters!"

"I suppose they can be," Max sighed. "She's really good with them."

"She always wanted a sibling," he said. "Nah, she likes them."

Max smiled up at him, as they interlocked their fingers together in the settling darkness. "I missed you today."

He looked over at their occupied children before back at her. My sort of girlfriend, he thought, this thing we haven't labeled since we ran into each other two years ago and hesitantly started dating eight months ago. I didn't think we would reconnect like this when I ran into her at swim practice. Max, widowed, alone, with two kids, and gave up her career for a more stable child advocacy job so she can raise them near Kenny's family. We're very different people than who we were in Rome. "Did you tell them about us?"

"I told Melanie I was seeing someone. I'm going to break Sharon's heart…in her eyes I'm supposed to mourn forever. Regan and Nat don't want to go over there anymore, and I don't really blame them."

"Ah, come here, Honey," he said, hugging her for a long moment before kissing her. "I get it, okay? I've been there."

She smiled up at him, before kissing him again. This isn't who I expected to fall for, even if it was simmering before Kenny and I got together. "I know."

"It's a beautiful night, Max. Do you want to light the fire pit and let them roast some marshmallows?"

I love these late Sundays, she thought, I never want them to leave. I can't believe that Kara Littleton is 15, I remember that sweet girl that sometimes came with her dad to the office. Now she baby-sits my kids. "Sounds like a plan, John."

TBC...