Run.
Sometimes you can be so obliviously blind to something that you don't realise its blatant obviousness until it is pointed out to you.
Robin had just gotten off the phone with 5PR, a major news station in France when her realisation was uncovered for her. Gushing to the make-up girl about what a great opportunity it would be, (while weighing out the pros and cons of leaving in her head) Rachel spoke up.
"What about Barney?" she asked as she dabbled more blush onto Robin's left cheek.
"What about him?" Robin replied nonchalantly.
Rachel raised an eyebrow because really no-one could be that oblivious.
"We're not together," Robin continued, correcting the common conclusion that most people made. "We're friends."
"Friends who call every morning at 4 just to wish each other luck on their ridiculously early morning show?"
"He's just…supportive, and an insomniac," Robin added.
"Friends who not only call, but send a bunch of flowers every morning for support?" Rachel kept her eyebrow raised, and as if on cue, the door to the dressing room opened revealing the stage assistant with a bunch of red roses.
"You know what they say about roses…" Peggy said with a warm smile as she laid the bunch down on Robin's desk.
"Friends who buy out half of the company just to secure their friend a job?" Rachel continued as soon as Peggy had closed the door. "I'm just saying…" she shrugged, turning around to change a brush.
Robin's face paled visibly as she looked at the flowers on the desk. "He bought out half the company?" Rachel nodded in reply. "…Well…I'm sure it was for his company, you know…they invest in stuff…so it's no big deal."
Robin's face barely gained colour. She ignored Barney's call at exactly 3:59am and at 6 she walked blankly out of the studio after her worse show yet.
Throughout the morning pondering the fact that Barney Stinson was in love with her? – And no matter how she paraphrased that sentence it always came out with a question mark at the end.
Yet that sentence made a lot of sense. It made all the sense in the world. Every look, every conversation, every touch, every interaction she had had with Barney in the recent-past suddenly made sense; the longing looks, the jealously issues over every guy she had briefly dated, the random declarations of her being "the greatest woman on the planet," the kind gestures, the fake kiss last Wednesday when Barney had sworn that Shelley Gillespie had walked into MacLaren's, that had lingered for waaaay too long than it should have (never happened.)
-"Just hide me," Barney said in a panicked voice as he looked away from the entrance, shielding his face with an arm.
"Um…the kitchen, quick!"
"There's no time," he replied, panic present in his features as he took Robin by the arm, turning her so that her back was to the bar as he moved way too far into her personal space.
"Just run with this," he whispered, lips brushing over her ear as he turned his head away from the crowd.
Robin inhaled sharply as she felt his lips brush over her cheek, once, twice and then his lips were on hers. Heart beating considerably faster, only at the fact that if they were discovered, Robin would have to go one-on-one with the bitch and she had conveniently forgotten to take her hand gun out with her tonight.
And she let him. She hadn't forgotten what a damn good kisser (and other stuff-er) he was. She may have opened her mouth up like, literally the tiniest, miniscule bit ever when she felt his tongue seeking access. She didn't think anything of it when one of his hands found its way into her hair, the other massaging her cheek with his thumb.
Barney broke it off, looking over his shoulder in Shelley's direction. Robin felt his whole frame relax.
"You know what," he said, turning around and pointing in the girl's direction as Robin tried to slow her breathing back to normal. He had a look of contemplation on his features. "I'm actually 99% sure that that's not her."
He raised his hand, "hot fake make-out five!"
Robin returned the five sheepishly; she didn't like the fact that she wasn't as angry as she should have been at Barney.
They drank for another two rounds, conversing about the extreme measures Barney would take if Shelley ever did get out of prison to get away from her.
"Alright," Barney said, checking his watch, "I'm outy. Scherbatsky, have a good night and stay out of trouble."
"This is coming from you," she scoffed.
His face softened as he smiled at her and his hand came up to cup her cheek gently, feeling the smoothness of her skin briefly.
"Thanks for…you know."
"I should have slapped you and created a scene."
"…But you didn't…" he considered something for a moment before continuing with bravado, "You liked it, Scherbatsky, don't try and deny it; I felt you slip in the tongue. You can't resist me."
She scoffed angrily, "please. And you're the one who can't keep their tongue to themselves!"
He grinned smugly as she glared at him.
"Have a good show," he said before walking out of MacLaren's. -
She checked the financial report for the station; what Rachel said was true, more than half of the company's shares were held by a B. Bro – what the hell kind of alias was B. Bro anyway?! It could only be one person.
"I have some news," Robin said approaching the booth at MacLaren's with a full tray of drinks, a gesture that would surely soften her friends responses to what would come next.
"This just in," Ted said, repeating their recurring joke as he held his newly-bought beer up to salute her with. Lily and Marshall smiled at her, taking theirs from the tray, as she slid into the booth next to Barney, sliding a scotch over to him.
"I got offered a job," she began, feeling the déjà vu that reminded her of the last time she announced she was considering a job in a foreign country. Lily, Marshall and Ted all gave immediate congratulations. The body next to her was strangely silent in their celebrations.
About halfway through Ted's second, "wow, that's fantastic! Well at least you won't have to change your sleeping patterns for this one, right?" spiel, Barney interrupted.
"It's not in New York, is it?" he said quietly, his voice gaining volume as he continued on, avoiding eye contact with everyone, playing determinedly with his glass, "You'll have to move away again, right?"
He finally looked up at Robin, an expression of longing in his eyes. It shocked her just how much emotion showed on Barney's face. Or had he been looking at her like this for months? She didn't know; she hadn't cared to realise it before. But now that it was finally evident to her, the way that he felt, she couldn't ignore it. He was in love with her.
She made a decision. Clearing her throat, she spoke, nodding at Barney's question, "that's right, it's in France. And I've decided to take it."
Mixed reactions came from around the table; mostly smiles on the opposite side, where Lily, Marshall and Ted were sat and a disturbingly heart-wrenching silence from her right.
She looked at Barney, who was avoiding eye-contact with her. She could see by his expression that he looked hurt, sad even. When he noticed the lull at the table, he looked back up at Robin, a huge smile sweeping his features.
"That's just…great, it's amazing Scherbatsky. And you won't have the translation problems like in Japan 'cause you already speak French, right?"
"Right," she nodded, answering half-heartedly.
She'd made the right choice, taking the job in France; especially if this was what it was going to be like if she stayed, him having a thing for her, and her knowing about it. They couldn't just go on pretending that nothing was going on, like nothing had transpired between them. If Robin had learned one thing from the time she'd slept with Barney it was that things like that couldn't just be ignored and they would never be the same around each other.
The taxi ride to the airport was so awkward. Ted had logically suggested that they take two cabs instead of one so that they could all say their goodbyes; this was amongst Robin's persuading that they really didn't have to come at all. It would just make boarding the plane that much harder, but she was overruled. Two cabs it was.
And to make matters worse, as soon as they'd packed all of her luggage in, Lily had decided that she needed to pick something up from her kindergarten class on the way to the airport, so Marshall and her would take the other cab. Ted, at the last minute, also decided that he had an errand to run, so he would go with them. Leaving Barney and Robin to share a cab. Alone.
The silence was deafening. There were a lot of awkward looks and polite smiles, both of them acknowledging in their minds just how awkward this was.
"So…how long is this gig for anyway?" Barney asked.
"The contract's for a year, but there's an option to stay on after that's finished."
"Do you…do you think you will?"
Robin shrugged in reply as the taxi came to a halt. Robin looked outside. What the hell? They were at the airport already? It was usually a solid half-hour trip.
"I have to talk to you," Lily said, tugging Robin by the arm as she hissed urgently in her ear, pulling her to a more secluded area of the airport.
"What's up? And where did you learn to vice-grip like that from? I'm kind of impressed…" Robin said, rubbing her arm.
"Sorry about that," Lily gestured to the red mark appearing on Robin's skin, "sometimes I don't realise my own strength. I need to tell you something. But I…can't. I have to. I never will. I swore not to. I must…"
Robin watched amusedly as Lily fought an internal battle with herself.
"It's about Barney…I have to tell you. It's not my secret to tell. I can't keep it in any longer! You have to know. No, you don't. –"
"I know Barney's "in love" with me!" Robin said loudly, interrupting Lily from her rapid speech. Lily looked up at her with wide eyes.
"You do? But, but how? Marshall didn't tell you, did he?" She asked, her expression turning to anger at the prospect of Marshall blabbing. Robin shook her head. "Oh my god, Barney! That's unbelievable, I've been at him for months to just be a man and tell you but I never thought he would…So what happened?"
"Barney didn't tell me," Robin answered calmly. Lily's face dropped, "but then…how?"
"Look, it's not important how I know, alright. I just do. And he doesn't know…that I know."
Lily contemplated something, "So you know, but you're still leaving?"
"Did you know that he bought out half of the station, just to ensure that I had a job?! That's crazy!" Robin countered.
"He didn't want you to go back to Canada! We all would have done anything just to make sure that you stayed. Barney was about ready to propose if he thought that you'd ever accept it, accept him."
"That's kind of part of the reason why I have to go; so he can just get over this…this crush and we can all be friends again, friends who act normal around each other."
"It's not a crush, Robin," Lily said quietly, patting her friend on the arm sincerely. "I don't know how he's going to cope with you gone, but I can't change your mind and convince you to stay, so…so, say goodbye to him, and write and call and perhaps we can all avoid completely breaking down, okay?"
Robin stooped down and hugged her friend, both women clutching the other tightly, "I will. I promise."
"This isn't right," said Marshall, sounding as if he was almost in tears as he leaned down and hugged Robin. "You going to France….It's just not right. Who's going to talk us all out of having kids and be sceptical and ramble about random Canadian things?"
Barney coughed, "uh, right here, except, you know, the Canadian thing."
"The apartment is going to be so empty without you," Ted said, taking over from Marshall and squeezing her around the shoulders as Lily comforted Marshall behind them.
"Hey, at least everything will be up to the Ted Mosby cleanliness standard now, you'll only have yourself to blame for drinking all the milk and not replacing the toilet roll," she joked, causing Ted to let out a chuckle, before he moved away.
Robin studied the last remaining member of the group to say goodbye. Barney was standing about five metres away, watching a plane out of the large windows, biting his lip.
"Barney," she said as she approached him, causing him to look at her, a smile breaking on his face.
"Hey Scherbatsky, c'mere," he said, widening his arm span before holding her into a close hug, one hand resting tight on her lower back as the other stroked the back of her head, caressing her soft hair.
"I expect emails at least once a week; you're probably the only person who'll explain what's going on accurately… well, unless you're writing about yourself," she said into his neck. Robin heard Barney chuckle into her ear.
Barney broke the hug, still keeping Robin close, an arm still around her waist as the other held her head gently, rubbing circles softly on her cheek. Robin was slightly surprised, but mostly comforted by the gentleness of the gesture. Barney let out a large breath, "things are going to be really lame without you around."
Robin smiled, "well, that's comforting to know," she said, not breaking eye contact.
He moved closer, and Robin panicked slightly internally as it seemed as if he was going to kiss her, but his mouth moved to her cheek and he laid a perfectly tender kiss on her cheek.
"Just…don't change, okay?" he said quietly as he loosened his hold on her and started to back away. Robin nodded as he waved goodbye, walking over to the others who watched the exchange with interest. Well, they would, Robin thought to herself.
She waved cheerily as they all yelled goodbye and waved, and Lily returned for one last hug. And then they were gone.
Robin only started to cry when the plane took off.
To: Barney Stinson (thebarnicle_at_goliathnationalbank)
From: Robin Scherbatsky (robin_scherbatsky)
Subject: RE: Ted's really lame
Hey Stinson
Did you realise it's been A YEAR since I left NY?? How crazy is that?!
I want an immediate recap on everything that's happened lately - the only person I've heard from recently is Marshall, which is weird…and lame because we all know the content of a typical Marshall email; like two whole lines, which mainly discuss Lily anyway…
I know Ted's busy with Melanie(?) and I have no idea what's been going on with Lily lately – wanna fill me in?
Come on dude, I'm jonesing for info here, even really boring stuff – what's everyone doing tonight? Still hanging out at MacLaren's?
Paris is okay I guess, nothing new here. Croissants are tasty, everyone's arrogant. Old news. Miss NY. Might be back for Christmas *fingers crossed*
Scherbatsky oot.
----
Robin re-read her email before clicking send. And then she waited, flicking on the television for a few minutes. She smiled to herself when she heard the ding which meant that she had a reply already. If Barney was good for one thing, it was that he replied to emails quickly.
To: Robin Scherbatsky (robin_scherbatsky)
From: Barney Stinson (thebarnicle_at_goliathnationalbank)
Subject: RE: RE: Ted's really lame
What up, Scherbatsky? Wasn't expecting an email from u this point of the night, what is it, like 4 in the am over there? And FYI, I appreciated the "oot" too, Miss Canada.
U got the rest of my night pretty much pegged, b to the dub, hanging MacLaren's – new bartender too. Sum old chick, reminds me of the manmaker. Lol. Ted's a horrible wingman. If u come home we can bro out? News about u being back 4 christmas = AWESOME X AWESOME. And I know it's been a year, a fucking boring one at that. Get back to NY.
Dunno what's up with Lily, she's actin weird. Don't think Marshall's noticed. Ted's still busy wit blondie – hence the horrible wingmanship.
Talk soon.
Stinson out.
----
It was good to know that nothing had really changed. Robin took her suitcase out from under her bed and quickly chose a dress and some heels to wear; not the hottest outfit she owned but it still looked damn good on her, if she said so herself.
Quickly doing her hair and grabbing her clutch, Robin headed downstairs into the lobby.
"Good evening, miss," the bellboy said, flashing her a smile. Not that she could really blame him, she looked hot. And damn if it wasn't nice to not have to speak French at every turn.
She hailed the first taxi that passed and headed straight for MacLaren's.
Robin was inwardly pleased at her plan to surprise everyone with an unannounced visit, but she never thought that she'd be the one who was surprised.
The inside of MacLaren's looked the same and Robin immediately looked to the usual booth that they sat at, only to see a middle-aged couple sitting there…If only Doug still worked there, she thought to herself, she loved that booth.
Robin scouted the bar, eyes resting on one of the larger booths at the back, where amongst other figures, a head of blonde hair and a larger man sat. Robin grinned to herself, deciding to make a trip to the bar before she went over there, ordering a round of drinks, remembering what everybody had from memory.
As she approached the table, she heard the familiar voices, "I tell you Ted, it was the single most awesomest thing to have ever happened. True story."
"It wasn't that great, Barney," Marshall interrupted.
"So you're saying it was more awesome than the time Marshall forgot his pants?" Robin said, setting her tray down on the table as she slid into the booth next to Ted.
Barney considered her question for a moment, "It came close ------" his words halted in his mouth as she smiled expectantly at the group, waiting for a reaction. Suddenly, she was being bombarded by hugs from every direction, laughter and wide grins.
When everyone had composed themselves, the conversation started to flow.
"When did you get into town?" Ted asked.
"How come you didn't tell us?" Marshall said.
"So that's why you asked about the plans for tonight, you're a sly one, Scherbatsky," Barney stated.
"I love your outfit!" Lily squealed excitedly.
Robin looked around the group, every person smiling back at her almost idiotically. It was good to be home.
"I got in on Tuesday, I didn't tell anyone because I wanted it to be a surprise, yes, that's why I asked about the plans, and thank-you, Lily," she smiled.
"Hey baby," said an outside voice, a raven-haired girl sliding her way into the booth next to Barney, her lips immediately finding his cheek, kissing it as she made her way towards nibbling his ear. Barney's eye caught Robin's for a moment before they both looked away, Robin's vision focusing on Lily who was now watching the exchange between Barney and the random girl, her lower lip being chewed up by her teeth in the process.
Robin looked to Marshall who was shifting around nervously and finally to Ted, who also looked uncomfortable as he shot a look of discomfort in her direction. When the woman was finished ravishing Barney's neck, probably leaving a hickey – Robin thought, she murmured, "What's wrong, baby?" quite obviously rubbing his upper leg.
"Nothing," he hesitated quietly.
The girl looked up at their company, "hi," she smiled sweetly at Lily and Marshall.
Lily quite obviously forced a smile as she gritted out a "hello."
"And who's this gorgeous babe, huh, Ted, your new girlfriend?" she asked suggestively, gesturing to Robin. A collective groan was heard from Lily and Marshall.
Ted cleared his throat, "I'm still with Melanie, Steff. This is Robin, she's an old friend," he said concisely.
"Oh, well hi Robin," Steff responded. "I'm Steffi, but you can call me Steff," she said, holding out a hand to shake. Robin took it after a moment, noticing that Steff wore a pretty nice looking ring on her ring finger.
Robin looked at the ring and back up at Barney, who, as if knowing what was going through her head, took a deep breath, a sigh even, his chest noticeably rising and falling.
"It's nice to meet you, Steff," Robin said, adding a sickeningly sweet smile to her demeanour. As Steff's attention was turned back to Barney's lips, cheek, neck and chest, Lily's eyes locked with Robin's.
Okay, Lily, what the hell?
Don't look at me, Robin. I hate her as much as it looks like you do.
I second that motion.
Both Lily and Robin looked over to Marshall who had interrupted their telepathic conversation.
What? So I don't get to be involved in the slagging-off-Steff conversation? Well, that's just not fair. Marshall crossed his arms over his chest.
Are we talking about Steff? Please can I be involved? – Came a needy Ted voice.
I don't remember this conversation being an open invite. – Lily glared at Ted.
Is she…is she with Barney? Lily, tell me the truth.
Lily's eyes widened - You mean you don't know?! I just presumed with the amount that you guys talked that he would have told you…
Told me what? Lily –
Can't talk here, Robin, we don't know who might be listening--- Lily broke off, glaring at Ted and Marshall.
Oh please, like we haven't heard it all before, Lil – Marshall argued.
She shouldn't find out like this, guys, it's not right.
The whole situation's not right – Ted added.
Look, Robin, I'll tell you tomorrow. We'll go out for Brunch and then shopping?
Something must be wrong if you so desperately sound like you need to shop – Robin countered. Ted and Marshall listened in interestedly.
Shut up.
"What's going on, you guys?" came Barney's real voice, interrupting and making them all jump in their seats slightly.
"Nothing," they all said in unison. Both Barney and Steff gave them a weird look.
"If you say so…"
Robin took her glass in her hand and started to sip it, as she did so, Steff took Barney's drink, mirroring Robin's actions.
"Is that scotch? Whose drink is this?" she asked disgustedly, placing the glass back on the table.
"It's Barney's," Marshall answered.
Steff scoffed, "It's like you don't know him at all," she laughed, "Barney doesn't even like scotch."
Robin accidentally spat out the liquid that was currently occupying her mouth, making her cough and splutter, Ted began thumping her on the back to stop her from choking. She locked eyes with Lily again,
I'm soory, did she just say that Barney didn't like scotch? – Robin's internal voice was showing her Canadian accent as it did when she was angry.
Lily's pointed reply came in a one word answer; Tomorrow.
"So last night was weird, huh?" Lily commented as she took a seat at the small table at which Robin was seated. "Whereabouts are you staying anyway?"
"I'm staying at that hotel on 46th and 8th. But back to topic, Lil."
"I say we order first. I'm starved and craving waffles with a puddle of maple syrup on top," Lily said, licking her lips as she picked up the menu from the table.
"Tell me about Steff."
Lily sighed, signalling the waiter over to the table and ordering quickly. Once he was gone, she started talking, "Steff's with Barney."
"Well I figured that bit out for myself. So she's just another conquest?"
Lily looked at her with wide eyes, biting the inside of her cheek, "well, no."
"And she has a ring! I saw the ring, she's married? Barney's dating a married woman? That dog…"
"Steff's not married, Robin," Lily said softly. "She's engaged."
"Like there's really a difference…" Robin said snappily. "Sorry."
"Look, I don't think this is a really good idea. I think you should actually talk to Barney, ask him. Ask him everything."
"Well, so Barney's dating an engaged woman…it's not really a surprise for someone like Barney…I mean, the ring can't be his, he doesn't believe in that kind of thing, he'd never…"
Lily let out a high-pitched squeak. Robin turned her head to look at Lily expectantly.
"Lily, you squeaked," she glared at her friend, who eventually cracked.
"Fine! Steff's engaged to Barney. I know! It's unbelievable. We all hate Steff. This is all ruined, why did you have to leave?!" she blurted out.
"What?! No. No. Noooo. No. No. No. No?" Robin supplied. "April's not for, like, two months. This can't be real, it's Barney. Dude, she doesn't even like scotch!"
"I know! I know, I just don't know what to say. They've been dating for, like eight months, and it's weird, Robin," she explained with wide eyes, her voice nearing hysterics.
"Here are your waffles with extra syrup, Miss," said the waiter, interrupting them and placing a warm plate down in front of Lily.
"Oh thank you," Lily said, her voice going back to normal as she smiled at the man.
"Why didn't he ever tell me?" Robin pondered aloud.
"Maybe he was embarrassed? Or…I don't know," Lily said, trailing off as she chewed her food.
"Or what?" Robin asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Or…nah, it's stupid…"
"Lily," Robin said threateningly.
"Or maybe he's still in love with you?" Robin shook her head, dismissing the thought, "Perhaps he's moved on, changed, matured," Lily continued.
Robin couldn't help but think, god, I hope not.
"I mean, a lot can happen in-----" Lily suddenly got up from her chair, leaving the table quickly and sprinting across the restaurant, patrons staring at her rapid escape.
"Lily!" Robin called after her friend, leaving the table and following her into the ladies room.
She pushed the door open with a bang and immediately heard the sound of someone throwing up in one of the stalls. "Lily, oh my god, what's wrong?"
"Don't…feel…well," Lily muttered, "Just…hang on."
Robin waited, biting her bottom lip nervously, until Lily emerged from one of the stalls. She rushed over.
"I'm fine," Lily said, waving her off before Robin could ask, "Guess I shouldn't have eaten those waffles so quickly, huh."
"Are you sure you're okay, Lil? We can boycott shopping and just go home now if you're not feeling well…"
"I'm fine. This has been happening a bit lately, its fine. I must have something…Let's go shopping!" she said with a grin on her face.
"Uhh, okay…"
Halfway through a boot-sale tug-of-war, Lily was hit again by the wave of nausea, running off to the other side of the store as her opponent cheered, "That's right bitch, you better run."
Robin once again ran after her friend, and once she reappeared from a cubicle, Robin approached her.
"Lil, clearly something is up. You're so keen to go shopping, Barney said that you were acting weird, and you're sick. Are you stressed or something?"
"No, I don't think so…"
Robin remembered something from last night; Lily hadn't touched the beer that she'd ordered for her at all. At the time, Robin had just thought that Steff had ruined her drink-atite, but considering the other pieces of evidence…
"Lily," Robin started seriously, "Are you pregnant?"
"What? No," Lily said, focusing on applying soap to her hands, "No, there's no way," she shook her head.
"Lily," Robin said pointedly.
"No. Yes. I don't know. Oh god, I'm pregnant, aren't I? I've been keeping this secret from the guys for like a month and you're back for one day and you notice it…Oh my god Robin, what am I going to do?!"
"I'm gathering you haven't told Marshall?" Robin asked.
Lily shook her head, "I don't know how he'd react…what if he doesn't want a baby right now?"
"Lily," Robin said, placing her hands on her friend's shoulders, "relax. Marshall loves you; more than anything else on this planet. Marshall loves you, he loves babies and he wants to support you for the rest of your life, I'm sure he'd be thrilled."
Lily launched into her friend's arms, "You're right. I'm just so…hormonal," both women laughed. "I'm really glad you're back, Robin."
When the taxi rolled up in front of Dowisetrepla, Robin patted her friend on the shoulder, "Just tell him, Lil."
Lily smiled back at her and nodded, "I'm working up to it. Thanks Robin," she hugged her and exited.
Robin heaved a sigh at Lily's departure. It had been an exhausting day, to say the least and all she wanted to do was drink, and maybe smoke a cigar and have a bubble bath later.
"MacLaren's Bar, please," she instructed the driver.
When she entered MacLaren's she immediately spotted a familiar face, hanging around at the bar. He recognised her at the same time.
"Hey Scherbatsky!" Barney said loudly with bravado.
She couldn't help but grin at him as he ordered her a Johnnie Walker neat.
"Exhausting day?" he asked.
"Mmm, you could say that," he followed her to their usual booth as Carl served up her drink. She flung her handbag onto the table as she muttered a "thanks," getting stuck into her beverage.
"How long has Lily been acting weird for?" she asked.
Barney looked back at her from the space where he was spacing out, "Uhh, I dunno, like a few weeks?" he took a sip of his drink.
"Scotch, Barney? But you don't like scotch!" Robin mimicked Steff, causing him to laugh.
"I'm sorry about that, Robin. Sorry I didn't tell you I had a steady girlfriend…I just…It was…just…"
"You don't have to explain," she said with a grin. He smiled back at her.
"I mean, how do you tell someone that, just put it in an email, "by the way, I've changed my values, I'm in a relationship now!" It just sounds wrong. She's not as bad as everyone thinks, you know? Okay, not as awesome as some people," he looked up at her.
Robin sucked in a breath…we're not doing this…
"Where are you staying?" Barney asked curiously, tilting his glass to the side.
"Uhh, a hotel," Robin shrugged. He tutted, and shook his head.
"Nah. Stay with me while you're in town," he said.
Robin laughed, "The fortress of Barnitude? Dude, I haven't even told you how long I'm staying for…hypothetically, you could be stuck with me for a while."
"All I know is that I will not allow you to live in some dinghy hotel, you can't stay at Ted's because he turned the second bedroom into the main office of Mosbius Designs, Lily and Marshall are probably gonna start decorating the nursery soon and I happen to have a spare bedroom."
"Wait, what did you say?"
"…I happen to have a spare bedroom?" Barney asked uncertainly.
"No, about Lily and Marshall."
"Oh come on, Robin; Lily's preggers, bun-in-the-oven, knocked up…whatever the kids are calling it."
"How could you possibly know that?" Robin asked, taken aback.
Barney laughed, "Please. Nothing slips by me," he winked and Robin rolled her eyes.
"You can't tell anyone, okay? Promise, Barney," Robin said, Barney rolled his eyes, "Promise, Barney?" she asked loudly.
"Fine! I promise," he said, connecting his pinky with hers.
"Spare bedroom?" he pushed the point.
Robin considered it for a moment, "fine."
"That's the spirit! Me and you, bros living together, hanging out. This is gonna be legen…wait-for-it…dary, Scherbatsky!"
Barney flicked on the light to his apartment while juggling two of Robin's larger suitcases. Perhaps he was maturing, he hadn't complained through the whole two flights of stairs.
"Okaaay, so I'll just change the sheets on my bed, and then you're all settled," he said, putting the suitcases down.
"Wait," said Robin, her eyebrows creasing together, "you said spare bedroom."
"Yeah…about that, I may have forgotten to tell you that the spare bedroom is full of suits, and besides I don't have another bed so…"
"I'm perfectly capable of sleeping on the couch, Barney."
"No Robin, you're my guest. You're not sleeping on the couch," he said clearly. "The couch is mine."
"No Barney! That's crazy, it's your place, you shouldn't have to sleep on the couch. Besides, remember how screwed up your back got after one night on the futon?" she questioned. Barney considered it, his face screwing up as he remembered.
Robin wasn't quite sure what persuaded her to say the next bit, but before she knew it she was blurting out, "let's just share the bed."
Barney's head snapped up, "what? Scherbatsky, you little minx you," she hit him lightly in the arm, "not like that," she added.
"So what's the plan for tomorrow?" he asked as he emerged from the bathroom, dressed in nothing but a pair of pyjama pants. Robin had to check herself to stop from oogling, or drooling at his half-naked form.
"Uhh, getting your ass back into laser tag," she replied with a smirk.
She watched him as he took off his watch and laid it on the bedside table next to the bed, finally flipping the doona over and climbing in beside her under the covers.
"Ha ha. Good luck, I've tried like a hundred times to get back in…"
"TP-ing the building is not going to convince them to let you back in, Barney."
He turned over to face her, "oh yeah then Scherbatsky, what will?"
Robin took a moment to consider, before she came up with an answer, "boobs."
Barney thought about it for a moment, before his eyes flicked back to hers, "That's…genius! Why didn't I think of that before!? I'm so glad you're back, Scherbatsky."
He rolled over; their bodies now incredibly close to one another before he pressed a kiss to her forehead, rolling back to his side of the bed.
And with that, he clapped twice, turning off the lights. "Tomorrow is gonna be legen…wait-for-it…dary!"
The air was filled with Robin's laughter, and Barney had truly never heard a better sound filling his apartment, ever.
Robin couldn't remember a time when she had had so much fun in New York City as she was having staying with Barney. Every morning after she had showered, he would walk in with a coffee and a donut from her favourite bakery – yeah, for breakfast – suck it, nutritional parents - and then the two of them would proceed to hit either the cigar bar, laser tag, (which he was now readmitted to, thanks to the girls and a little shameless flirting with the boss on her behalf) the karaoke bar, or really anywhere else. They seemed to have a good time wherever they went.
Lily had finally told Marshall about the baby, and both of them were on a baby-high, even talking in "goo-goo-gah-gah's" to one another. They said it was to practice for when the baby was born, but it was really just weird.
Robin had met Ted's Melanie as well, and she was really nice. Robin approved.
Things, life was going really great. Robin had five weeks max to decide whether to renew her contract with 5PR and she still hadn't made a decision about it, but it didn't really bother her.
Robin was smoking a cigar one night as she let herself into Barney's apartment when she was met with a surprise. She took the cigar out of her mouth, "Hey Steff," she said slowly.
"Hi Robin," Barney emerged from the kitchen quickly, shooting her an apologetic look.
The other woman started coughing loudly, "what the hell are you doing; Barney hates cigars. Put it out!"
Robin looked at Steff. She looked down at the cigar, up at Barney, shooting him a confused look, and back down at the cigar.
But it was a brand new Cuban and it tasted so good and she did not want to put it out.
"Is that right, Barney?" she asked quizzically. Both women looked at him for the verdict.
"Yeah, that's right," he said quietly. Robin huffed as she walked over to the sink, where Barney was stood next to.
"You owe my like a whole box of Cubans," she said under her breath as she put it out. Barney chuckled, "whatever you want."
"Anyways," Robin said cheerfully as she lifted her head from the sink, "I'm just getting changed and I'm out."
"Where are you going?" Barney asked interestedly.
"Why do you care so much?" Steff asked her boyfriend, her arms crossed over her chest as she pouted on the couch.
"I…don't. I just think that someone should know these things…in case Scherbatsky goes missing or gets kidnapped, or dies," he explained, his voice breaking on the last word.
"I'm going on a date," Robin said with a smile, "We're going to the ice-hockey. Be out in a jiff," she said as she closed the bedroom door.
Barney looked at the door sadly, not realising that Steff was watching him closely.
"Oh my god, why didn't I notice it before, as if the whole "staying together" thing wasn't enough of a clue! You like her, don't you?" Steff accused.
"Of course I like her, Robin's my best friend."
Steff stood up from the couch, placing her hands on her slender hips, "You know what I mean!" …
Robin exited the apartment that night in the midst of a screaming match, and the strange thing was that she felt internally happy about it, even as Barney shot her a look that clearly read "help me," she left with a smile and a cheery wave. He subtly flipped her off.
When Robin let herself back into the apartment much later that night, the place was eerily quiet and dark.
A voice sitting in the dark made her jump, "how was your date?"
"Oh my god!" she clutched her heart, which felt as if it was beating at a million miles an hour. "Barney, what the hell are you doing sitting in the dark?!" she flicked on the light switch, causing him to flinch and his eyes to squint.
Robin noticed that he was twirling something in his hand, a ring.
"So Steff and I broke up," he said, looking down at the coffee table.
For fuck's sake, if her best friend was looking so god-damned sad then why were her insides throwing a rager?
"I'm sorry, Barney," she said, sitting down on the couch next to him, she placed an arm over his shoulders and gave him a squeeze.
"My mom really liked her. This was her ring, you know?" he said, placing it into the light.
"It's pretty…" Robin said. She pondered something for a moment, "Barney, your mom was never married."
He shrugged, "I know, but she still had this."
"Hey Barn?"
He looked up at her for the first time; she could see that his eyes were slightly bloodshot and she could smell the alcohol on his breath as he spoke.
"Yeah?"
"Why did Steff think those things about you, about the scotch and the cigars?"
"I…I didn't want her to know what I was really like. I was ashamed?"
"But those things…they're part of your character, like dirty jokes and laser tag and suits and…"
"And you?"
Robin laughed, "Wow. You are plastered," she commented. He smiled.
"And you, you don't even care what I like…what I'm like."
"That's the kind of people friends are supposed to be, they like you for who you are, they accept your flaws; they love you no matter----"
She was cut off by Barney's lips on hers, his hands fisting through her hair, caressing her scalp as she tried to protest, tried to stop. Her attempts didn't make it to her brain yet alone her hands or her lips.
His hand was resting on her back, holding her closer, his tongue in her mouth, it's warm and tastes of her favourite drink, all she could see was him, all blonde hair and passion and lust and hard edges but soft and gentle and comfortable.
And they didn't stop as her back hit the soft cushions of the couch, his hands clutching her face. And it all feels so familiar; their bodies rising and falling in unison, resting on top of each other. And close, so close.
We've been here before.
The pressure lessened; he rested on his elbows above her, looking down at her with a look in his eyes and a smile on his lips. Common sense hit Robin all of a sudden as she raised a hand to her forehead, breathing out.
"This is stupid, Barney," she said quietly.
And he was shattered, the body that pinned her down on the couch, and the warmth that that body provided was all-of-a-sudden gone.
"You're right," he said, standing up and running a hand through his hair. "This is stupid, I mean, you're Robin Scherbatsky and I'm Barney Stinson, it was never meant to happen. I'm…going to bed."
She breathed out as the bedroom door closed and looked down at her hands, which were shaking. In anticipation?
She took the notepad that she carried everywhere out of her handbag (she was a reporter, after all) and scribbled something down, leaving it on the coffee table before scouting around the apartment, turning the light off and locking the door behind her.
Living back with Ted was just like riding a bike, slipping into old habits was easy; they rarely agreed on anything, Ted could still be a pretentious douche on occasion, Robin hogged the bathroom with the hour-plus bubble baths, Ted hogged the bathroom with his hour-plus hair stylings, there was hardly ever any milk and no-one ever replaced the toilet rolls. But they didn't sleep together.
Melanie was a competent opponent on the Wii, much to Robin's delight, and she was also an avid watcher of "the View," so she won in Robin's book.
Ted cleared out the second bedroom for Robin, leaving the head office of Mosbius Designs out in the living room. It also seemed that Ted took Barney's advice on the whole "get a hot assistant thing" because that's how Ted and Mel had met.
And the best thing about living with Ted; she didn't have to deal with Barney every minute of every day.
Sure, she missed him, she couldn't exactly pinpoint why, maybe it was the constant jokes, the arm that was flung carelessly over her while she slept, the fact that you were allowed to smoke in his apartment.
Even without Barney around, she still thought about him constantly, and it was starting to bug her. Her mind constantly wandered to… it wasn't important. And it certainly didn't mean anything.
"What do you think of this crib?" Lily asked, pointing it out in a magazine.
"It's nice," Robin commented half-heartedly.
"Mmm, but I wouldn't know whether to get it in blue or pink… what if I get pink and it's a boy? What if I get blue and it's a girl? Why do we even associate colours with genders…? …Robin, are you even listening?"
"Wha…? Oh, yeah, course."
"What did I just say?"
Robin curled her lip, "You said…"
She was saved when the door to the apartment opened, revealing Barney and Steff. Robin fought the urge to claw the bitch's eyes out. Whoa, where the hell had that come from?
"Barney! Wow, you're back with Steff…that's just great," Lily quickly blurted out, sarcasm evident in her tone.
"Gee Lily, don't sound so thrilled," Steff commented coldly.
"Well I decided to drop around, since you guys seem to have neglected the bar of late…" Barney discontinued, locking eyes with Robin for a moment before looking away.
That was weird, sure, Robin had been avoiding the bar, but that was no reason for everyone else to…
Barney let out a sigh, looking around the room, noticing that no-one was paying any attention to him; Marshall and Ted were deeply involved in a guitar-hero battle, Lily was intently studying crib styles and Robin was simply feigning interest in the magazines, actually hyper-aware of the outsiders actions.
"Since none of you are listening anyway I was going to invite you all to karaoke tonight, as a celebration to our getting back together," Barney said quietly.
"Yeah, sure," Ted replied, no idea what Barney had actually said.
The door closed with a thump and they were gone.
"I can't believe they're back together!" Marshall said, making several illegible grunting noises in between words.
"I know, right?" Ted added, quickly changing his position on the guitar, just making the final notes of the song before he dropped the guitar and entered the kitchen, scoping out the contents of the fridge.
"We should make a list of all the ways we could sabotage this; number one, bring out Barney's scrapbook," Lily said.
"Number two, has she been to his apartment?" Ted said, rewarded by Lily and Marshall's laughter.
The three of them looked over at Robin, the only one still seated, expecting a reaction of rage at the initial situation, or an answering joke. None of them could have predicted what came next.
Robin's face contorted, her eyes filled with tears and she started to cry, rushing out of the apartment as soon as Lily started cooing and coming closer to her. Because that was the last thing Robin wanted.
As she flounced down three flights of stairs, Robin didn't stop crying. What the hell? She waved at her eyes, trying to stop this disgrace of emotions.