A/N: Okay, so this was originally just going to be a drabble at about 300 words or summat... But no. It seems it was not to be.
SUMMARY: It's V-Day, and Sirius is spending it with... Remus? The thing is, though, Remus doesn't know it's a date. Tension ensues!
DISCLAIMER: NotMineDotCom :D
WARNING: Il Cattivo-language.
"What We're Not Saying"
Sirius Black had always been a very cunning boy. He was not clever - even he wouldn't try to convince anyone that he was clever, at least not in the proper sense of the word - but he was cunning. He knew how to turn things around to make them benefit himself, and he was never modest about doing so, either. Sometimes he'd wonder why the Sorting Hat hadn't just dropkicked him right into Slytherin before it even made contact with his head.
Yes, Sirius was sly. But when it came to one of his best friends, Remus Lupin, Sirius never really knew what to do.
He'd had this crush for... what, three or four years now? And he'd never so much as dared to reach for Remus's hand. They were now in their last year at Hogwarts, and time was really beginning to run out for him. Remus had already started talking about going abroad after school, and yet here was Sirius, still stuck at the stage of "today I'll do it, today I'll tell him" without actually following through. He'd thought about telling Remus every Halloween, every Christmas, over every summer holiday... There never became anything of it, though. Not even on any of the countless Valentine's Days he'd shared with Remus. One would think that the 14th of February is the perfect day on which to give up such a secret - and yet, nothing.
Valentine's Day was now upon them, once again. At their very last year. Only months left now. Good grief.
Why did he feel like he would never see Remus again if he didn't tell him now, today? Why did he feel like like he would lose this opportunity if he didn't reach out and grab it as soon as possible?
Without thinking, he spoke.
"Hey, Moony? Could you help me with that Potions essay this afternoon?"
Gods, what am I doing?!
"Well... I thought we were going to Hogsmeade?"
Has he really forgotten? Sirius never forgets a Hogsmeade trip.
"Oh, we could still go to Hogsmeade - we could just... You know, bring our books for when we go 'round the pub, and, er, we could work whilst James and Peter do... other... stuff."
Real suave, Sirius, honestly. Merlin, why can't I just be suave around Remus like I am around everyone else? What the bloody hell is wrong with me?
"So, you want to do homework on the weekend? In the pub?"
He's joking, right?
"Yeah... The nerds do it, don't they? Bring books?"
Don't they though?
"Nerds like me, you mean?"
Nerds... Thanks a bunch, Sirius.
"Oh, don't give me that, you're too fit to be a n-"
Shit, did I just say that?
"Fit?"
Did he just say that? Please say he just said that.
"Yeah, I mean, you know..."
Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckbollocksfuckfuckfuck.
"So you want help, eh?"
Better change the subject before he manages to embarrass us both further.
"Yeah."
Thank God, he changed the subject.
"Thought Potions was one of your best subjects?"
What's he plotting, anyway?
"Well, yes, but I haven't been studying properly for this one."
Nice save, Sirius! Why, thank you, Sirius! You're welcome, Sirius!
"You never study properly. Why are you so concerned about this essay?"
He's plotting something.
"Well, it's nearing exams, and I just figured I'd better get serious about this, you know?"
Hah! Nice save, once again.
"Right, well... right."
Is he for real?
They gathered their books, got dressed and met up with James and Peter in the common room. Not a single word was exchanged between Remus and Sirius throughout the walk down to Hogsmeade, Sirius small talking with James and Peter whilst Remus lagged behind, just glad for the fact that the other two were with them... Who knows how great of an awkward silence would have followed, had the other two not been around.
As Sirius and Remus entered the pub after a quick round in Honeydukes, now without the company of their other friends, they were both starting to regret this. Remus would really rather not help his friend go through with whatever evil scheme he was plotting... Because he most certainly was plotting something, Remus was sure of that. But Remus's strong social conscience told him that he should help out if his friends needed it, he couldn't very well deny Sirius help with his homework if he indeed did want to get serious about school. And Sirius, for his part, was anxious about telling Remus about how he felt - or not telling, if it so happened that he chickened out again. Which, to be frank, was quite likely.
"Perhaps we should start with the least complex one," Remus suggested as they sat and got their books out.
Please don't sit next to me, please don't sit next to me, I can't bear it... Oh, you sat next to me. Great.
"Yeah, good idea to start small."
I couldn't care less. Just you read me the shit from the book and let me work on a tactic.
"See here, this one isn't too hard. Just a handful of ingredients, and all..."
Why are you looking at me like that? Could you be- No. Stupid imagination.
"Mhm."
Keep talking. I'll just be over here, pretending to listen, watching your lips and your neck and your hands, inching closer and closer to you... Baby steps, so you won't notice.
"Now there are a few points you need to take into consideration. For example-"
Merlin, is that his arm around me?
"Go on."
Shit. He's put off by the arm.
"Right, er... You need to apply the, er... the solids after the... after the liquids."
No, don't move the arm! Gods, don't you dare move that arm!
"Solids after the liquids, right..."
Who gives a toss. Honestly. How could I care about bleedin' Potions when I've got you so close to me, looking absolutely gorgeous as you lick your lips in concentration?
"And the solids ought to be crushed, not sliced or chopped."
Is he even listening?
"Go on, go on..."
Concentration, or... discomfort? Oh, I've gone and made him uncomforatble now. Shit. This is not a good idea at all.
"Sirius, are you getting this?"
Why is he staring at me like that?!
"I, er.."
Bollocks.
"I thought you said you wanted to get serious about this? Have you even caught a word of what I said?"
I bet if I ask him what I said, he's just gonna go "Err, something about a potion?"
"Sure I have..."
You haven't even gotten to the "I love you"-part, and you're already mucking it up. Nice one, Sirius.
"What is this, Sirius? What are you playing at?"
Do I even want to know?
Sirius couldn't answer.
"Well, if you're not going to give me a proper answer," Remus said, getting up. "I might as well just go-"
"No!"
"What do you mean, "no"? You're obviously plotting something, and I don't want to have any part in it, whatever it is, so-"
"There's a reason I asked you here, yes, and you're right about it not being for homework."
Sink or swim now, Sirius.
"Which was?"
Please let it be what I think it is, pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...
"Well, have you looked at the calendar lately?"
Don't make me say it.
Remus thought for a moment. He'd been so absorbed in school he hadn't noticed neither the decorations in the Great Hall, nor the air of anticipation all over the school...
"It's the 14th."
Could it be?
"You're a clever bloke, Remus... You can figure out this one on your own, yeah?"
Please don't make me say it.
"I think I can," said Remus, sitting back down.
Are you going to tell me what I think you are?
"Please don't make me say it, Moony, 'cause I don't think I could bear it if you didn't say it back."
And please don't look so bloody terrified, will you?
The tension was thick in the air. Remus just stared at his friend as he was trying to take it all in, and Sirius anxiously bit his lip, thinking he'd see Remus bolting out the door in five, four, three, two...
But then Remus smiled.
"I hardly think you need to worry about that."
THE END! HAPPY V-DAY, EVERYBODY :)