Disclaimer: LelouchYagami owns nothing

Chapter One – The Mirror

Light's psychological change from Normal to Kira in the beginning of the series has always been something that has interested me. The change is offscreen and supposedly happened over the course of a week. I have decided to make this fanfic to see how I think the psychological change went.

Two criminals dead and Light is still thinking about it.

"I committed murder" Light thought. "And now I decide to kill even more people… what's wrong with me?"

The thoughts were still going through his head "b-but this is for a better world" he thought.

Light knew that when he got home he would have to kill more criminals but now he was just thinking it had to be the worst of the worst.

"Th-this notebook can be used for good." Light said as he was nearing his home. "I am sure of it but I got to hide this. I do not want to think about what would happen if my sister or my parents found it."

Light was cold, wet and felt miserable. After he got home he hid the Death Note in his room and then took a long shower. The shower was long because he was feeling depressed. "Do I have the authority to say who lives and who dies?" Light thought "Do I?"

That night Light killed at least 50 more criminals before going to the bathroom to throw up his dinner. He was in the bathroom for about 30 minutes before he felt well enough to fall asleep. He knew what he was going to start doing from this day forward. Light closed his eyes but he felt depressed.

Day One

Light woke up but it took him a while to get out of bed. He decided to turn on the TV. He knew what news story it was going to be.

"We are still trying to investigate a recent plague of heart attacks among criminals in Japan" the news lady said. "I have a guy from the first prison to encounter these mysterious incidents and I want to know what he thinks."

"When was the first time you heard that a person died in your prison?" the news lady said.

"About 9:30 PM is when I heard that one of the prisoners had fallen dead of a heart attack" the prison guard said.

"9:30", Light thought, "the same time I wrote his name, but the news is positive so far. Is there anything wrong with killing the worst of the worst."

"He was a serious offender" the prison guard said. "He had several rights' violations as well as battery, assault, murder and two attempted rapes. He originally got the death sentence but appeals gave him life in prison."

"Do you know what caused his death?" the news lady asked.

"It was me" Light said quietly. "I caused it."

"I don't know" the prison guard said. "It could be disease. It could be food poisoning but I haven't heard of prison food causing a heart attack. Maybe it was due to stress but it seems like an act of god to me."

"Do you believe it is?" the news lady said.

"I don't know" the prison guard said. "All I hope is that this blows over real fast. So far I hear the people of Japan are taking it positively but I don't know if these deaths would do a positive effect on the world."

"Thank you for your time" the news lady said. "We'll be back after this commercial break."

Light then turned off the television. He got out his notebook and started writing the names of the worst criminals he could find off the internet.

"Why am I putting myself through this?" Light said. "They are criminals but murder is not right. Why would I lower myself to being a murderer, a vigilante? I always wanted to do good but not like this. Is this even good? The public seems to think it is good but that is only one opinion. If people feel strongly negative about this I'll stop. I don't want to lower myself even further. I always wanted to be like my father but is this the right direction to go. You know now I wish this was just a sick joke then I wouldn't have to commit these murders in the first place."

"Why would a Death Note be real in the first place?" Light thought. "Gods of Death are just rumors. Shinigami, Grim Reapers, they are just television fantasy. One of my favorite characters on television is a Shinigami but he is good. You know I wish a Shinigami would just kill me right now. I don't think I am doing the right thing. I mean who sent this notebook in the first place."

"About 32 criminals are dead today" Light thought. "I know the kill count might become higher one day but there is something about this notebook that attaches me to it. Does this notebook have an addicting component to it? No it can't. It is just a supernatural notebook but this can be used for good. I am not a pathetic murderer, I can have good reason for using this notebook."

"Light", Sachiko said from downstairs, "it is time for breakfast."

"Okay" Light said. "I'm coming Mom."

Light went downstairs looking as depressed as he was the night before. "Is something wrong Light?" Sachiko said.

"It is nothing" Light said. "Just a lot of hard school work."

"I haven't heard of anybody getting depressed because of school work." Sayu said as she ran towards Light.

"Well maybe I am a bit different" Light complained.

"You are always happy when I'm around" Sayu said. "Didn't you make a promise a few years ago that if somebody was going to kill me, you would take the bullet?"

"Yes" Light said. "And I will never back out of that promise. You guys are the only people that make me feel completely comfortable."

Light had breakfast with his family. During that time a conversation that Light predicted started.

"So", Soichiro said, "did you hear about these recent deaths of criminals?"

"Yeah" Sayu said. "It is so mysterious. Is it the food they are eating?"

"I don't know" Soichiro said. "All I hope is that this doesn't last long. It seems like some kind of murderer."

"It's me" Light thought. "Should I confess right now? Should I tell them it was me? Would they even believe me in the first place. But if my father finds out I'm a murderer he would never think the same things about me again. Sayu maybe she could support me. I love her and she admires me, maybe I can win her over."

"Do you think that this is some kind of coincidence?" Sachiko said.

"I hope it is" Soichiro said. "I do not want to be involved with these deaths at all. I mean if this is murder then who could do it. It is impossible to kill so many people in so little time."

"I wish it was impossible" Light thought. "But that Death Note, what is making me so attracted to it? I'm not corrupt. I hope I never become corrupt but I am so sick and tired of all the crime and injustice going around. Somebody has to take a stand. I mean law and order is not perfect but maybe if I gave criminals a warning, they would stay away."

"Is there anything the Japanese Police Force can do about this?" Light said.

"So far we are just burying the dead" Soichiro said. "I really don't think the police force will get involved with this. Somebody else maybe, this is something a detective would do."

"Dad", Light said honestly, "I don't want you involved with this. If you get involved you might die."

"Light", Soichiro said, "I don't think it is that bad so far."

"But you are always on the frontlines everyday" Light yelled in a sad tone "You are almost always too busy to hang out with me or Sayu. Why would you get involved with this if it means that we might think we could never see you again?"

"Light", Soichiro said, "I understand what you are saying but that is no reason for me not to investigate this. I will always be here for you."

"Okay Dad" Light said. "I should tell them" Light thought. "I should just tell them right now so I can never use this notebook ever again but jail or a death sentence. I don't think I could handle either."

After breakfast was over, Light went to school. The day went normally but he kept hearing students talk about all the criminal deaths that have been going on. "This was always going to be big news." Light thought. "People are going to be trying to name him very soon. I know it. They could name him anything, murderer, savior, wrath, Kira. Who knows, but the name doesn't matter, it is his presence that does."

Light was at the same desk he was always at. "Huh" Light thought, "If I didn't look out this window then none of these weird things would be happening to me."

After classes ended Light went by his locker to get the things he needed to stay home. At that moment Sudou came by.

"Hey Light" Sudou said. "Want to hang out at my place tonight?"

"Sudou why" Light thought. "Your bad behavior at this school has been driving me nuts for the past two years."

"I can't" Light said. "I have a lot of studying to do."

"That is the problem with you Light" Sudou said.

"What?" Light said back.

"For the past year here you have always been by yourself" Sudou said. "You are never around friends. You rarely talk to people. You are one of the most popular kids here and you don't communicate with anyone except the teachers."

"Really" Light said. "And you have gone around hurting the freshmen since sophomore year. You want to know why people are not fond of you Sudou? It is your ways. You think bullying younger students will just make you cool when really you are just making an example for yourself. You sometime try to ask me to become your friend but I feel you are only doing it to try to gain popularity. If this is your attempt at making me your friend now you have failed in every conceivable way. I am sick and tired of you. By now consider this friendship impossible."

"Why you" Sudou said angrily as he tried to punch Light, but Light just dodged that punch and then hit him really hard in the head.

"Why did you do that?" Sudou yelled.

"Self defense" Light said. "It is the only reason people should hurt others."

"Sudou", Light thought, "thank god you are not a murderer. It was stupid for me to think that I should even kill you. Bullies don't deserve death but they do deserve punishment. I have no reason to come after you Sudou but stop trying to come after me."

"You know", Sudou said, "you should wipe that frown off your face Light. For the past few days you have been depressed. You should try having some fun in your life."

"Light", Yuri said walking fast towards Light, "Have you heard about these recent mysterious deaths. The reports have said that these criminals were perfectly healthy."

"Yes" Light said. "And I hope they stop pretty soon."

"I don't care for it" Yuri said. "But it is very interesting news."

"It won't stop" Light thought "Unless somebody stops me or I stop myself. Huh, I have to kill more criminals tonight."

After dinner, Light returned to his room to continue killing criminals.

"I have all the power in the world to do this" Light thought. "But I don't have the rights. Maybe if I could get an A Okay from someone then maybe this could go in a positive direction. 95 criminals dead so far today and no end in sight. Should I really judge criminals though. I think the people around already have judged these criminals. I hear it several times a year. A criminal is given the death sentence and then he begs for his life. I see it over and over again. It is so pathetic. If I was in his position I would embrace death with open arms. At least it is better than life in solitary confinement."

"I should be getting to bed right now" Light said "I have killed at least 150 people so far. Has this happened before? Is this even a world record for a Death Note user? Am I first ever Death Note user? I have to be, I haven't heard of mysterious heart attack deaths until now… well it is time for bed."

Light took his shower then washed his face and brushed his teeth. He still felt sick but couldn't barf out any food. In his pajamas he went to bed and then he heard a voice.

"Light, Light" from behind.

Light turned around to what he saw as the Death Note talking to him. It must be a hallucination or he might be going crazy.

"Light", said the Death Note, "don't you want to try me? With me you are invincible. Nobody knows what you are doing and nobody cares. So please write in me."

"No" Light said. "I am done for today. I am not that kind of person to stop caring about people."

"But what you are doing to this world is great" the Death Note said. "You are this world's savior."

"Get away" Light said. "Am I a savior or am I just a murderer? Even now I am confused."

"Murder and killing are the same thing" the notebook said.

"But isn't murder unlawful killing?" Light said "Is what I'm going wrong or am I justice?"

"How about you kill people who think what you are doing is wrong" the notebook said. "Then everybody in the world will think you are right."

"No" Light said. "I will never stoop beyond criminals. They are the people that are making the world rot, nothing else. What do you think I am a psychopath, a sociopath? If this is murder than it is different. I care about people."

"Would you care about your life if that meant using the Death Note puts your life in danger?" said a voice in Light's head.

"Man", Light said, "it feels like I am going insane."

"Write in me" the Death Note said as it continued to talk to Light.

Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me, Write In Me,

"Can I just go to bed?" Light yelled.