Preface – InuYasha

The moment I said it I knew what the outcome would be: She would leave our midnight meeting and I would just sit there staring at the moon while her white light would shine down upon me.

And as I thought, it did. What else could I ask from her? My time was getting up and she had the whole world ahead. That's when it hit me, so many things I had not done, things I would never do.

Anger was a stage I was over with a couple of weeks ago. Knowing what you were facing (enemies) was a relief and at the same time it brought a whole wave of desperation too. Over the last couple of weeks I had gotten the ugly habit of breaking anything that came my way, no one knew why, but they were soon to find the answer.

I could feel another strong headache coming as I stared at the stars wondering if it was true that I was to become one of them, or if heaven was my place to be.

Suddenly I remember all the things I had missed and now regret. Not kissing the girl I've always been in love with 2 years ago when I had my chance. Not waking up earlier in the morning to watch the sunrise on the beach at least once and that time I lost my only good friend as a child for a stupid ball.

The more I think about it the more I wish this would all just go away; the more I want this just to be another nightmare and opening my eyes would mean the end of it. Off course, this was not the case, my enemy was not leaving and he was just waiting for the final shot that would kill me, and so was I.

The power this thing has over me is so strong and my mind can only take so much. I shouldn't be going through this. I should be worrying about love or what Im going to do the rest of my life now that the journey was finally over… I should be worrying about what a normal teenager does… Then again, I have never been one.

I now know that I have not much time left, even though I have this type of blood in my body it still isn't enough to take this thing out of me. I am sure I won't be able to stay with them for over a year.

I have only one worry left, one little thing troubling my heart at this stage of this battle I have been fighting for some months now. Who and how will I be remembered? Im sure my best friends will remember me. Blood relatives I lack of, but whom else? Will my enemies remember me? Or was I just another battle along the road? (To those who aren't dead) I know I can still remember some of them, could they remember me?

Would she remember me? Not that I am expecting her to, she would have probably forgotten everything about me by now, it has been 2 years since I last saw her, last touched her. All I know about this world (good and bad things) I know it thanks to her. I am able to remember dates, write, read and tell time, all because of her. To just look at her once more… I would give what's left of me.

I wouldn't change a thing about my life as it is now or my past as is once was, especially the last years of it. That long journey we had changed my perspective on humans and life so much. It would have never been the same without those who accompanied me; I couldn't imagine life as it is without them, my friends, my family.

Regrets, I have; But I am at peace with my life. I don't know where I will be going after my one last battle finally finishes, but I hope I get to see her again (and you know who you are). And if you ever find this, Im glad you came back… But the fact you got this notebook means I am no longer here and I never had the courage you thought I did. I could never say those three words I always knew you wanted to hear and I wanted so desperately to say. I love you, my love, my light, my best friend. Im sorry you never got (and will never get) to hear those three single words.

Always and forever yours,

InuYasha