Two Days with Willy Wonka
A Gundam Wing fanfic
By Mark Berger
-------------O-------------O-------------O-------------O-------------
These characters ain't mine. I'm just a Dutch uncle taking them out
for a circus. =D And like a circus, some kids will be smart, and
others will get sick gorging on the candy peanuts.
So, if you're ready for it... HEEEERE COMES THE DEVIL!
*Duo bursts through the paper*
I said the devil, not the God of Death
DUO: Sorry...
-------------O-------------O-------------O-------------O-------------
Heero groaned and looked around at his fellow Preventers. Duo Maxwell,
of course, looked insanely cheerful (or perhaps, Heero thought
ruefully, inanely cheerful). But then again, Duo always looked
insanely cheerful. Heero maintained that Duo always looked just plain
insane, though, so his opinion wasn't a very good barometer of the
situation. Strangely, of all the other people in the warehouse – a
very odd warehouse, given that there was only one entrance or exit –
only Zechs looked even remotely comfortable.
"Now remind me HOW we got trapped in here?"
Five blank stares met Heero's eyes.
"Okay, now how do we get out?"
"Wait for somebody to come by with a Gundam?" suggested Duo. Wufei
wadded up a ball of paper and threw it at him. "Get serious, Duo.
We're in trouble here."
"Well, if you guys had any idea how those Serpents found us... A
Marimeiya Forces Serpent mobile suit had found the six Preventers out
in the open and they had managed to avoid its attention and get into
safety.
* * *
Four hours later
Somebody's stomach growled noisily. Heero looked at Duo. Duo looked
at Zechs. Zechs looked at Trowa. Trowa looked at Quatre. Everybody
looked at Wufei. "So I didn't eat very much before the mission. I
didn't think we'd be out more than a few hours."
Heero groaned. "I'd expect this kind of irresponsibility from Duo, but
not from you, Wufei."
"Well, let's find something to eat," said Duo, whereupon he opened a
crate.
"Right," responded Heero, "You expect to crack open one of these crates
and discover..."
"A crate full of graham crackers?" asked Duo. Wufei looked up and Duo
tossed a full box of crackers at the hungry boy.
"See if we can't find some peanut butter – I'd like to have some
protein with this."
Duo scampered off, looking around. "Peanut butter chips."
"Close enough," replied Wufei, putting the chips on one cracker and
squashing them down with another, then taking a big bite out of the
"sandwich." Heero opened more crates. "Reese's Peanut Butter Cups?
Coca-Cola? MOON PIES???""
Zechs looked over the the edge of the last crate and grabbed a Moon
Pie. "I haven't had one of these in eons."
Trowa pried open another crate, to reveal a motherlode of chocolate
bars. Quatre gazed at these like the proverbial kid in a candy shop,
and Trowa rolled his eyes, knowingly.
* * *
Four hours later, Wufei glanced at the other Preventers. "What's so
funny?" He glanced at Zechs, who was grinning a bit oddly. "You look
like the cat who's caught the canary, Mr. Zechs."
Duo jumped up. "Zechs found the interesting candy. Look, Wufei,
chocolate liqueur cherries." He grinned and popped one into his mouth.
It was obvious that he had had a few already.
"You've had quite enough of those, Duo," said Heero behind him, looking
bemused.
"Tell it like it is, brother, tell it like it is." Duo was listing
slightly.
"Well, 'like it is' appears to be that you aren't eating any more
chocolate liqueur cherries until you sober up," said Zechs. Duo
glanced over at Wufei, who looked less clenched than he usually did.
"Thinking about something, Wufei?"
"Yeah... Thinking I wish I had my Gundam, so I could blow the crap out
of that stupid Serpent."
Quatre and Trowa were on top of one of the crates, sleeping soundly,
Trowa wrapped protectively around Quatre.
* * *
Four hours later
Heero watched his fellow Gundam pilots sleeping. Duo, the happy-go-
lucky god of death, Trowa and Quatre, happy couple that they were,
Wufei and the honorary addition to their number, Zechs, the pilot of
the Tallgeese, ancestor of all Mobile Suits. Zechs had returned from
the land of the dead late in the previous year, surprising everybody
and delighting both his sister and Miss Noin, who dearly loved him.
Now they were on the most unlikely mission they had ever faced, with a
kill-hungry Marimeiya Serpent outside, and nothing but some snack foods
to hold their appetites until help arrived. Things did NOT look good,
especially if Duo got drunk on those damned chocolate liqueurs again.
Heero's eyes felt heavy for a moment. He tried to blink away the
tiredness, but when he woke again, his cheek was against some damp wood
*oh great, I drooled in my sleep* and he was covered by something warm.
Quatre grinned. "I woke up just as you were dozing off and took the
liberty of maneuvering you into a sleeping bag... Seems one of the
night watchmen liked to take naps."
"What time is it?"
Duo spoke up, "We've been in here for a day now. Zechs is trying to
raise Noin on the shortwave in the office."
Duo heard a skittering noise. "Who's there?" called Heero, disguising
his voice. Duo heard feet running, made a judgement, leaped... only to
come down on top of Sally!
"OW!"
"Maxwell, am I hearing things or is..."
"I'm here, Wufei," called Sally, "and Hilde is with me. Unfortunately,
there's that damned Serpent between us and our mobile suit carrier.
Hilde called out, "We managed to make pickup on the Tallgeese III
before the Serpent shot us down..."
"Don't sell yourself short, Hilde – I couldn't land a damaged mobile
suit carrier like that in a million years."
"Duo..." Duo had pounced on the girl as soon as she stepped within
view, and the two were holding each other tightly.
* * *
Four hours later
Duo and Hilde were nowhere to be seen. Same with Trowa and Quatre,
which suited Heero just fine. Sally pulled a small object out of her
breast pocket. "All purpose survival tool?" he asked.
"Yeah. Deck of playing cards." She dealt the cards to Heero and
Wufei. "The name of the game is 'bullshit.' The object is pretty
straightforward: You start at twos and work your way up to aces. On
your turn, you can lay down one, two, three or four of any…"
Heero interrupted, "We already know how to play bullshit, Sally."
The three played a few hands of the game, Wufei losing horribly in each
one.
* * *
ANOTHER four hours…
Zechs burst into the room. "I've managed to get Noin on the radio.
She'll be here in eight hours, with mobile suit support."
Heero responded, "Good! Maybe we'll finally get out of this place."
He walked around the perimeter of the warehouse, munching on a
chocolate bar.
Heero heard a soft noise and glanced around the corner of a crate. He
immediately wished he hadn't – Duo was caressing Hilde's breasts under
her shirt, and the noise was Hilde's moan of pleasure. The Heero of
old would have interrupted them, but having been tempered by several
years (and experience of his own), he realized that the two were acting
on their needs. If they felt like they needed some time to make out,
he was just going to pretend like he had never been there.
Hilde looked up from the pleasant haze Duo's ministrations had placed
her in. "What was that?"
Duo glanced around, his hands still under Hilde's shirt. "I don't see
anything."
"I guess it was nothing... You sure the others can't hear us?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Good... then just keep doing what you were doing," she sighed.
* * *
"What was that noise?" asked Wufei.
"Hades and Persephone," responded Heero.
* * *
Eight hours later
Heero heard the sound of mobile suit footsteps outside of the
warehouse. "Either the Serpent's here or Noin is... Get ready,
everybody."
The other Gundam pilots, Zechs, Sally and Hilde each readied their
weapons.
"All right, who's in here?" came a harsh voice.
"SURPRISE!" yelled the eight soldiers, as they rose and pelted the
enemy with foodstuffs. He never had a chance – his feet slipped out
from under him on whipped cream and he was rapidly hog-tied by his
erstwhile prey. "You will pay for this indignity!"
"Not likely," responded Duo.
And eight hours later, they had an impressive sight and an even more
impressive story for Lt. Noin.
-------------O-------------O-------------O-------------O-------------
OK, so it wasn't as comedic as some of the other writers', and the
ending was a little contrived, but I have to go soon and I wanted to
get the story finished and sent. :)
Hope ya like it!
A Gundam Wing fanfic
By Mark Berger
-------------O-------------O-------------O-------------O-------------
These characters ain't mine. I'm just a Dutch uncle taking them out
for a circus. =D And like a circus, some kids will be smart, and
others will get sick gorging on the candy peanuts.
So, if you're ready for it... HEEEERE COMES THE DEVIL!
*Duo bursts through the paper*
I said the devil, not the God of Death
DUO: Sorry...
-------------O-------------O-------------O-------------O-------------
Heero groaned and looked around at his fellow Preventers. Duo Maxwell,
of course, looked insanely cheerful (or perhaps, Heero thought
ruefully, inanely cheerful). But then again, Duo always looked
insanely cheerful. Heero maintained that Duo always looked just plain
insane, though, so his opinion wasn't a very good barometer of the
situation. Strangely, of all the other people in the warehouse – a
very odd warehouse, given that there was only one entrance or exit –
only Zechs looked even remotely comfortable.
"Now remind me HOW we got trapped in here?"
Five blank stares met Heero's eyes.
"Okay, now how do we get out?"
"Wait for somebody to come by with a Gundam?" suggested Duo. Wufei
wadded up a ball of paper and threw it at him. "Get serious, Duo.
We're in trouble here."
"Well, if you guys had any idea how those Serpents found us... A
Marimeiya Forces Serpent mobile suit had found the six Preventers out
in the open and they had managed to avoid its attention and get into
safety.
* * *
Four hours later
Somebody's stomach growled noisily. Heero looked at Duo. Duo looked
at Zechs. Zechs looked at Trowa. Trowa looked at Quatre. Everybody
looked at Wufei. "So I didn't eat very much before the mission. I
didn't think we'd be out more than a few hours."
Heero groaned. "I'd expect this kind of irresponsibility from Duo, but
not from you, Wufei."
"Well, let's find something to eat," said Duo, whereupon he opened a
crate.
"Right," responded Heero, "You expect to crack open one of these crates
and discover..."
"A crate full of graham crackers?" asked Duo. Wufei looked up and Duo
tossed a full box of crackers at the hungry boy.
"See if we can't find some peanut butter – I'd like to have some
protein with this."
Duo scampered off, looking around. "Peanut butter chips."
"Close enough," replied Wufei, putting the chips on one cracker and
squashing them down with another, then taking a big bite out of the
"sandwich." Heero opened more crates. "Reese's Peanut Butter Cups?
Coca-Cola? MOON PIES???""
Zechs looked over the the edge of the last crate and grabbed a Moon
Pie. "I haven't had one of these in eons."
Trowa pried open another crate, to reveal a motherlode of chocolate
bars. Quatre gazed at these like the proverbial kid in a candy shop,
and Trowa rolled his eyes, knowingly.
* * *
Four hours later, Wufei glanced at the other Preventers. "What's so
funny?" He glanced at Zechs, who was grinning a bit oddly. "You look
like the cat who's caught the canary, Mr. Zechs."
Duo jumped up. "Zechs found the interesting candy. Look, Wufei,
chocolate liqueur cherries." He grinned and popped one into his mouth.
It was obvious that he had had a few already.
"You've had quite enough of those, Duo," said Heero behind him, looking
bemused.
"Tell it like it is, brother, tell it like it is." Duo was listing
slightly.
"Well, 'like it is' appears to be that you aren't eating any more
chocolate liqueur cherries until you sober up," said Zechs. Duo
glanced over at Wufei, who looked less clenched than he usually did.
"Thinking about something, Wufei?"
"Yeah... Thinking I wish I had my Gundam, so I could blow the crap out
of that stupid Serpent."
Quatre and Trowa were on top of one of the crates, sleeping soundly,
Trowa wrapped protectively around Quatre.
* * *
Four hours later
Heero watched his fellow Gundam pilots sleeping. Duo, the happy-go-
lucky god of death, Trowa and Quatre, happy couple that they were,
Wufei and the honorary addition to their number, Zechs, the pilot of
the Tallgeese, ancestor of all Mobile Suits. Zechs had returned from
the land of the dead late in the previous year, surprising everybody
and delighting both his sister and Miss Noin, who dearly loved him.
Now they were on the most unlikely mission they had ever faced, with a
kill-hungry Marimeiya Serpent outside, and nothing but some snack foods
to hold their appetites until help arrived. Things did NOT look good,
especially if Duo got drunk on those damned chocolate liqueurs again.
Heero's eyes felt heavy for a moment. He tried to blink away the
tiredness, but when he woke again, his cheek was against some damp wood
*oh great, I drooled in my sleep* and he was covered by something warm.
Quatre grinned. "I woke up just as you were dozing off and took the
liberty of maneuvering you into a sleeping bag... Seems one of the
night watchmen liked to take naps."
"What time is it?"
Duo spoke up, "We've been in here for a day now. Zechs is trying to
raise Noin on the shortwave in the office."
Duo heard a skittering noise. "Who's there?" called Heero, disguising
his voice. Duo heard feet running, made a judgement, leaped... only to
come down on top of Sally!
"OW!"
"Maxwell, am I hearing things or is..."
"I'm here, Wufei," called Sally, "and Hilde is with me. Unfortunately,
there's that damned Serpent between us and our mobile suit carrier.
Hilde called out, "We managed to make pickup on the Tallgeese III
before the Serpent shot us down..."
"Don't sell yourself short, Hilde – I couldn't land a damaged mobile
suit carrier like that in a million years."
"Duo..." Duo had pounced on the girl as soon as she stepped within
view, and the two were holding each other tightly.
* * *
Four hours later
Duo and Hilde were nowhere to be seen. Same with Trowa and Quatre,
which suited Heero just fine. Sally pulled a small object out of her
breast pocket. "All purpose survival tool?" he asked.
"Yeah. Deck of playing cards." She dealt the cards to Heero and
Wufei. "The name of the game is 'bullshit.' The object is pretty
straightforward: You start at twos and work your way up to aces. On
your turn, you can lay down one, two, three or four of any…"
Heero interrupted, "We already know how to play bullshit, Sally."
The three played a few hands of the game, Wufei losing horribly in each
one.
* * *
ANOTHER four hours…
Zechs burst into the room. "I've managed to get Noin on the radio.
She'll be here in eight hours, with mobile suit support."
Heero responded, "Good! Maybe we'll finally get out of this place."
He walked around the perimeter of the warehouse, munching on a
chocolate bar.
Heero heard a soft noise and glanced around the corner of a crate. He
immediately wished he hadn't – Duo was caressing Hilde's breasts under
her shirt, and the noise was Hilde's moan of pleasure. The Heero of
old would have interrupted them, but having been tempered by several
years (and experience of his own), he realized that the two were acting
on their needs. If they felt like they needed some time to make out,
he was just going to pretend like he had never been there.
Hilde looked up from the pleasant haze Duo's ministrations had placed
her in. "What was that?"
Duo glanced around, his hands still under Hilde's shirt. "I don't see
anything."
"I guess it was nothing... You sure the others can't hear us?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Good... then just keep doing what you were doing," she sighed.
* * *
"What was that noise?" asked Wufei.
"Hades and Persephone," responded Heero.
* * *
Eight hours later
Heero heard the sound of mobile suit footsteps outside of the
warehouse. "Either the Serpent's here or Noin is... Get ready,
everybody."
The other Gundam pilots, Zechs, Sally and Hilde each readied their
weapons.
"All right, who's in here?" came a harsh voice.
"SURPRISE!" yelled the eight soldiers, as they rose and pelted the
enemy with foodstuffs. He never had a chance – his feet slipped out
from under him on whipped cream and he was rapidly hog-tied by his
erstwhile prey. "You will pay for this indignity!"
"Not likely," responded Duo.
And eight hours later, they had an impressive sight and an even more
impressive story for Lt. Noin.
-------------O-------------O-------------O-------------O-------------
OK, so it wasn't as comedic as some of the other writers', and the
ending was a little contrived, but I have to go soon and I wanted to
get the story finished and sent. :)
Hope ya like it!