If I had a say in what you dream, I would have you dream of long gray roads. The sounds you hear are languid strings, back and forth as you stare at the void ahead. I would have you drive all day through the deserts and the plains. There's nothing out there, nothing's what you need.
If your nights were poems, I would write subdued colors set to a muted soundtrack. I'd write the wind blowing your hair into a panic. I'd have the straw slap your face, trying to get at eyes safe behind your ray-bans. I'd give you a blank expression; nothing. Because nothing's what you want.
If you dozed in film reels, I would have you smell a May sun in Arizona. Your touch saturated with dust; your steering wheel a sand structure held together with water and gesso. Your cigarette is dry and unsatisfying, hanging lazily out of your mouth and burning by itself before you flicked it and reached for a new one. Nothing ahead of you, nothing behind you, nothing on your mind.
However if your fancies told the truth, you'd be in blackness. Aware of your ears, you can hear the Muggle party all around you. Your somber eyes would scan the room and realize that there is nothing else. You're standing in a miles deep basin of ink; you're blind. You commit because you think no one can see you in the dark, and you got what you wanted.
If I had a say in your truth, you'd be comfortable in your shade. Content to keep your eyes closed to fate, you'd ignore the tugging of your suspenders and clicks from her digital camera. You would let the sound waves flutter by as the other went on and on, logging her flirting hours. You would freely gaze around the room, swiveling your head because no one can note your neglect. Smiling at your privacy, you enjoy the the blissful dark. The happy nothingness.
If I were involved in your truth, I would appear to you. A glint in the black would become a beacon as I wander up shyly as I did when we met. I'd look straight at you; meek, unafraid. You could close your eyes and try to skirt the specter of me, but I'd kiss you anyway. If I had a say in what you dream, I would have you dream of a missing piece and nothing to replace it.