The clouds were rolling in. It was indeed a dark and stormy night; one might even think that the Oprahcalypse was beginning. The screams of restless infants could be heard from the carriage that delivered the abandoned children to the orphanage. The carriage would go around town, and find abandoned children, then throwing them into the back. Once it was full, the carriage would make its way to the orphanage for the daily drop-off, and then resume its normal route. In the bowels of the carriage laid an infant Lady Macbeth. (for story purposes, she will be dubbed Baby Macbeth, as she doesn't have a name). Baby Macbeth sat in the carriage, crowded around other children. By the way, I mean baby as in like 4 years old, not 5 days old. Baby was tosses into the carriage very lazily, so she was hanging off the edge. The carriage proceeded to hit many bumps along the road and with each bump Baby Macbeth grew closer and closer to falling off. The carriage suddenly swerved and Baby Macbeth went tumbling out onto the dirt road. Baby Macbeth continued to spiral down out of control into the unknown. The commotion and excitement was too much for her, and she passed out.
She awoke in the middle of the woods, scarred and bruised, and totally vulnerable. She began to cry. Animals began to take notice, and a hamster named D-Wizzy scurried up to her. "Yo yo yo, why you crying girl?!" at this dialogue, Baby Macbeth only began to cry even more. "My parents SUCK, that's why I'm crying!" D-Wizzy began nibbling on her big toe as he soothed her with his interpretive dancing skills. "Wow! I didn't know you were such a good dancer!" exclaimed Baby Macbeth. "Yea, I been in the business for awhile. So ya done crying on my lawn?" replied D-Wizzy. Baby Macbeth nodded and smiled. "We should totes be friends!" D-Wizzy said, "Yo girl! I'm down for that!" So D-Wizzy and Baby Macbeth grew to be very close friends. They went to parties together, gathered food together, and D-Wizzy even shared some of his interpretive dancing skills with her. Later on in the week, Baby Macbeth had discovered a strange house in the middle of a swamp nearby. D-Wizzy warned her not to go there, but never explained why. As a result of this, Baby Macbeth's curiosity towards it grew, and grew, and grew, until it was eventually too much to bear. Finally, one day, the curiosity flavored soda deep down in her soul popped, and going against the will of her hip hop hamster guardian, ventured out into the gloomy bowels of the swamp.
She stepped over some pretty nice looking boulders and eventually unto the clearing of the house. She stepped up to the large oak door and knocked. No answer. Baby Macbeth let herself in. She looked around. "Well, there's not much here…" she said. After exploring through the dirty house, she heard footsteps. Turning around lead nothing less to the discovery of an angry D-Wizzy at the front door. "D-Wizzy! You're in the hizz house!" D-Wizzy replied with an angry glare. "I thought I told you not to come here, yo?! Wus da mattah wit you?!" "I-I'm so sorry D-Wizzy…it's just I was so curious as to what was here, a-and.." D-Wizzy sighed. "It's okay bumble bee tuna, let's just get out of here." Baby Macbeth started for the door, only to have D-Wizzy interrupt. "Alright, let's head out….but first, let me take a selfie." Baby Macbeth sighed at D-Wizzy's humorous remark. She really liked him. He was such a good friend, you know? She smiled, only to see a few seconds later a leather boot squash him right in front of her eyes. She had no reaction at first. In reality, she wanted to burst into tears, but she could tell the menacing green ogre standing at the door wouldn't allow it. "WHAT. ARE YOU DOING. IN MY SWAMP?!" Baby Macbeth screamed as Shrek chased her around the dimly lit room. She tripped on a broken board, only to have her face land just 2 feet away from D-Wizzy's gooey remains. She stopped, and cried. She cried so hard. Shrek saw this and was ogrewhelmed at the tragic sight. "Oi…sorry there lasseh….my anger issues kinda took ogre…" Shrek stared sorrowfully at the sight of Baby Macbeth trying to put back together the remains of her broken friend. "…Y-You killed him….." muttered Baby Macbeth. An eerie silence pervaded the room.
With nowhere else to go, Baby Macbeth was forced to stay with the cold-blooded murderer. Not by her choice. Shrek was no parent, and although he felt bad, he tried his best to make Baby Macbeth the most comfortable and happy girl in all of Scotland. He tried to feed her eyeballs, lit romantic fires with his farts, and even told ogre tales at night before she went to bed. Nothing could make her happy. Shrek eventually let his emotions take ogre. One morning, he was so fed up with Baby Macbeth's sadness that he broke out into a rage. He threw everything around the house and frightened Baby Macbeth. Baby Macbeth tried to jump out the window, but before she could, Shrek stuck a needle in her infused with ogre magic. Baby Macbeth fell to the floor in a loud heap and began snoring. The ogre magic caused Baby Macbeth to fall into a deep sleep, one that Shrek was hoping could never be woken up. The thing is, she was still conscious of what was going on around her, it was just she was paralyzed and couldn't open her eyes. She internally cringed as she felt Shrek's lips press against hers in hopes that a kiss of true love could awaken her. Shrek was feeling guilty. He wanted to bring her back. However, baby Macbeth despised Shrek, so the kiss couldn't wake her up. Shrek, enraged by this fact, used all of his ogre might to hammer throw her out of his swamp, and Shrek retreated into his home.
Baby Macbeth flew and fell into a patch of flowers, which cushioned her fall. She lay there for hours. Days. Months. Years. She was no longer Baby Macbeth anymore. She was now a grown woman. She was Lady Macbeth. Lady Macbeth lay there, experiencing many battles and murders in her sleep. She took this all in throughout her years until one day, a young man came waltzing into the flower patch. He saw Lady Macbeth laying there, her face as cold as snow, despite that rad tan she got laying in the sun for years. This young man was no other than Macbeth. Now Macbeth, being the opportunity seeker that he is, gave this (what he thought to be) corpse a long, (TRUE LOVE) kiss. At that moment, Lady Macbeth opened her eyes and was in tears. She was finally awake again! She finally had someone to love! She knew she loved him because she could only be awoken by true love! So the new Lady Macbeth, filled with an odd mixture of hatred, death, and love, went with Macbeth to his mom's cottage. They lived their happily until one day, Macbeth got a request. He was doing so well in the army, that King Duncan wasnted to personally come over and visit him! Naturally, Lady Macbeth was so happy for him! I mean, a visit from the king! How much better can you get! Lady Macbeth had never actually seen the king before. She was just as excited as Macbeth, who had only heard rumors of him.
The day finally came when King Duncan was to visit Macbeth. Apparently he was staying for dinner. How exciting! Lady Macbeth got ready early in the morning. She was that type of person, she loved to be prepared and wanted to make sure nothing went wrong. Hours went by, and just as Lady Macbeth was getting super bored, she heard a knock at the door. "I'll get it~!" she rang out as she skipped across the house to the front entrance. She opened the door. It was him. She screamed in terror and slammed the door in his face. It was Shrek! …Was it? She opened the door slightly again, only to notice that it wasn't Shrek, but somebody who looked much like him. King Duncan looked like Shrek. He even smelled of onions. Lady Macbeth cringed, and awkwardly let him in.
The evening progressed, and Lady Macbeth found herself hating Duncan more and more. He looked like Shrek, he smelled like Shrek, he even TALKED like Shrek. She felt her murder senses kick in, but luckily Macbeth noticed this and managed to calm her down. Her suppressed feelings caused her to remember her childhood friend, D-Wizzy, and she couldn't help it anymore, she screamed. She ran to her room crying, leaving Duncan, Macbeth, and Macbeth's mother in an extremely confused state. Looking at her bone she kept of D-Wizzy, she swore on her life that she would get revenge on Shrek, even if it meant killing Duncan in the process just because he looked like Shrek. Lady Macbeth began to formulate a plan. A plan that would take years to take action, and months to perfect. She didn't mind, though. She was going to get her revenge.