I should have told her that I loved her.
I should have pulled her close and kissed her soundly.
I should have admitted to my love for her when she told me how I felt.
Instead I stand. I stand here watching the woman I care for most. No longer a child, kissing another. Holding this human's hand. How I am so foolish. Was it my pride? Was it my honor? Was it my mother who has an anger towards human women because of my father. I do not know. But I feel hollow inside. Alone.
When I was with her. I felt whole. Happy..a word I rarely use, even when I am alone. I may never have shown I was happy when I was with her. But somehow she could tell.
But if she could tell my feelings were there, why didn't she come back to me, why didn't she stay with ME? Why did she leave me alone..for HIM? Maybe I should have done more. Maybe I should have shown her in a different way.. told her how much I need her, love her, desire her.
It was not my honor, nor my pride, nor my mother, hell it wasn't even because she is human and I am a demon. No it was stupidity and fear. Fear she would reject me. Fear she would leave me. Now she has..
I Sesshomaru will not allow fear to consume me. I will show you Rin how much I love you, how much you truly mean to me. Not in actions since that did not work, but in words. I will show you that you are worthy of me, that you have had me wrapped around your finger since the day you tried to feed me when you were little. You have had this Sesshomaru's heart in your hands since the day he laid eyes on you.