A Piece of Junk from You

"Hey, Rukia?" "Yeah?"

"Why did you give me this?"

Renji held out a keychain.

"It's a present. A good-luck charm, if you will. It's a keychain!"

He examined it.

"It's not made of keys and it's not really a chain, you know."

Rukia wagged a finger at him. "You really need to brush up your knowledge of the human world."

He scowled.

"So, what is it for?"

"Humans created these so to attach their keys in a ring so that they were in a collected and easily accessible manner. The keys tend to pile up and more links are added to the ring, so you have a chain."

Renji remembered what humans used as keys - for now, anyways. There were small pieces of metal with teeth like protrusions, some times even, but usually uneven, along a shaft. Older, even ancient, keys tended to be bigger and simpler (though some, he recalled correctly, were ornamental). The teeth aligned with tumblers in a lock to allow the tumblers to turn within a lock to open it. At least, common locks. He was certain humans had advanced enough to probably use much more advanced electronic technology for securing much more valuable items.

In any case, he looked at at the keychain dubiously. "I see… that explains the ring on it. But what's with the..."

"Well, they have more of an ornamental purpose now, too," Rukia interuppted, "Some attach them to backpacks and cell phones. Oh… and pencil cases."

"None of which I have."

He just held it front of his face and let it swing back and forth. Rukia stared at it was well. She smiled wickedly.

"You could get a backpack from Urahara's shop…"

"I don't need a backpack."

"Okay... what about a cellphone? You're going to need one for…"

"I'll worry about that later."

Well, Renji didn't need a pencil case either, so Rukia didn't bother asking him that. She frowned for a moment, as though thinking hard.

She looked at him suspiciously. "So?"

"So nothing!" Renji scowled.

He should have known that only Rukia would give him something this bizarre. Well, bizarre was relative, but that wasn't the issue here.

"What?" pouted Rukia, "You don't like it?"

"I don't have any keys."

He stared at it again.

"So? Answer the question!"

"It's… very you."

"So, you don't like it!"

"I didn't say that!"

"Oh… if that's like saying I've never made fun of your eyebrows!"

"So what?" Renji scoffed, "It's not like I'll use this for anything."

"You could attach it to Zabimaru."

Renji gave her this look that said "Hell, no!"

"How about the sheath, then?"

His expression didn't change. She pretended to sniff.

"So, you're just going to get rid of it? After all the trouble I went to get it for you?" she said, "A present from me?"

Renji sighed and stuffed in a pocket of his hakama. Even if it was piece of junk to him, it was still a piece of junk from Rukia. He would just have to find a place to hide it.

"No, of course not."

Secretly, Rukia had been planning to give him another pair of outlandish looking shades, but knowing Renji, they would probably break in another fight. She hugged him and watched a blush creep onto his face with a rather devious look in her eyes.

"How can you not like Chappy the Bunny?"

She smirked. Maybe she would give him those shades. Of course, after she found out what the keychain's fate would be.

Renji sighed again. What would he do with a Chappy keychain?

"How can I not?"

Author: Are you one those people who have more keychains than actual keys for them?