Castiel sighed, staring out across the parking lot from where he and Dean sat on the park bench , the memories of his transgressions weighing heavily upon him. Dean, who sat beside him, seemed to sense something, as he edged closer, putting a hand around his shoulders.
"I was…" Castiel began, but faltered, staring out across the ground in front of the bench they sat on instead of looking up to meet Dean's gaze.
"You were what?" Dean asked impatiently.
"I was thinking. I—I'm sorry, Dean. I've always thought I was doing what was right…." He paused before continuing, his tone empty, "But…."
"Hey, you're you, OK?" Dean interrupted, his tone at first a bit snappish as he cut Cas off, but softened as he spoke. "Look, you think I've done everything right? I broke the first seal, I let Sam die, I—"
"You're human." Cas shook his head. "I—I was always taught to follow orders. Except they were wrong, and…"
"So what? They're dicks, and, yeah, they're dead wrong. But we stopped the apocalypse, and you…you have me." Dean said, giving a small smile.
Cas nodded slowly, sighing. "I wish I'd done more. I wish I'd made the right decisions. This—" he held out one hand in front of him as if to indicate the weight of his responsibility, "Is more than I could ever deserve. I—I've let you down, Dean. Over and over again. And I've destroyed Heaven, I let Metatron orchestrate the Fall—"
"Hey! You weren't in control then, and this time, you didn't know," Dean snapped, "And I know it's true, coz I've been there, I've seen you. So quit blaming yourself. It's not your fault we live in a world that's been screwed up since day one. And that's definitely not your fault," he scoffed a little now, "You're not God. So it's not on you, regardless of how much you want to pretend it is."
Dean pulled him into a hug, Cas' frown softening as he wrapped his arms around the hunter.
"Maybe you're right," Cas muttered. "Maybe—"
"No maybes. You know I'm right," Dean grinned as he stood from where he sat beside Cas. "So, you coming? We've got monsters to go deal with."
"Of course," Castiel replied, the guilt lessening just a bit as he stood, following Dean back to the Impala. He wasn't sure why he'd bothered speaking of such things, but it was something he carried inside him always, and always would. But when he was beside Dean, the pain was a little less. Just a little. But it was enough.