Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story apart from Isulet.

Note: In this version Gawain doesn't have a wife.

Chapter 1

Isulet rode alongside her brother and his knights. There was Lancelot, Bors, Galahad, Gawain, Tristan and Dagonet. They were all her brother's noble knights, and each one equal in her brother's eyes. Everyone was looking forward to when they would get their dispensations so they could go home, even Isulet, who was an unofficial member of the group. They had all fought many battles, and had many scars. The many times that something had happened to someone, everyone else was there. Isulet realised how much she would miss everyone, once their final journey was over. Her brother would probably expect her to live in Rome with him and marry someone. But she didn't want to marry. She just wanted to live the rest of her life how she wanted, not how anyone else wanted her to live it. Gently Isulet spurred her black stallion forward. Her stallion's name was Tempest. He was big and stocky, a trained warhorse. It seemed that she was the most protected, though she didn't necessarily want to be protected.

Isulet had been married when she was younger, though now her husband was dead and she a widow. She didn't exactly miss him, he had beaten her. So when he died it came as no loss to Isulet. But sometimes she missed him. There was no one around to quash the rumours about her, that she had killed her husband. Her brother, Arthur, did his best, but his best just wasn't quite good enough. All Arthur really wanted was to go back to Rome. He didn't really care what would happen to Isulet, who was planning to stay in Britain. After all Britain was her home. She had been born there, and had lived most of her life there. When Arthur had been in Rome she had been at home with her husband. But after four years of relative freedom Isulet was not ready to settle down to married life again. Besides, at twenty nine she was more than considered out of it in the marriage market. Everyone wanted a quiet pretty girl who would stay at home and bear children. But after four years of fighting alongside her brother she just didn't want to be expected to be sweet, quiet and docile. But Isulet was nothing like that. She had raven black hair which she tied up with a blood red ribbon, and had steely blue eyes, which could pierce you with one glare. All of the knights liked her; she had an attitude that no other woman seemed to have. So, as a result she had become the mascot.

"Stay here Isulet while we go and find the bishop." Arthur and the rest of the knights rode over the hill.

The knights were supposed to be finding and protecting a bishop of Rome. The Bishop's name was Germanus. They were to escort him to the castle so he could discharge the group. But he was probably going to be attacked by Britains, or Woads as the knights called them. Isulet hated to kill them, as her mother had been one, so whenever there was likely to be Woads Arthur left her behind, as she hated to kill them. Often Isulet was teased about this, though she just ignored them, as she usually did. The knights tended to get drunk and say certain things, so Isulet had learned to have selective hearing. Everyone else wondered how Isulet managed, though it was relatively easy. The knights mostly managed to be respectful of the fact that Isulet was a lady, though one or two more often than not forgot that fact, Bors especially.

The sounds of battle filtered from over the hill. Isulet tried not to think of who was dying down there. It was hard for Isulet to shift her mind from the thought. She was a physic, meaning she could receive premonitions. She always saw premonitions of the battles that her brother fought in, mostly before he had even fought in them. She also could tell if Arthur's knights would die in a battle, though she rarely told him that. She often saw premonitions of battles a long way away in the future, and did not know what battle they were until the battle happened. Isulet hated her ability. It didn't give her any freedom. It kept her bound to the knights, she knew most of their fates, had seen them die. It was annoying, as whenever Isulet tried she couldn't get anything. She always had to receive the premonitions. Her brother was a noble man, who tried to understand, but couldn't. It was why Isulet couldn't be a Christian. Oh she had tried. She had prayed to God to take away her powers and make her normal. But when nothing had happened Isulet had given up, which Arthur did not seem to understand.

Isulet noticed the peace. It was as if the noise had suddenly been cut off. Slowly Isulet spurred Tempest to the top of the hill, to see what was wrong. Her brother was standing with his sword pointing at a woads neck. The woad was waiting for Arthur to kill him, so it was a surprise when he didn't. The woad got up and ran across the river, following the rest of his friends who had not been killed. Arthur looked up at Isulet, who nodded. Isulet then kicked Tempest into a trot and proceeded to join the others. When she got to the bottom Isulet quickly dismounted and left Tempest to stroll around for a while. She walked over to Bors, who was teasing a man about his religion. When Bors saw her he just smiled and carried on. Isulet sighed and turned away. Then she walked over to the carriage where her brother was standing. There was a dead man in the carriage, dressed in all the finery of a bishop.

"That's not him." Arthur said before turning to one of the Roman escort, "I believe your military training came in useful. A clever trick, using a decoy."

"It did, you must be Arthur and his Sarmatian knights. I thought that the Celts never crossed the wall. " The bishop dismounted.

"I am, and we have come to escort you. The Celts sometimes come south." Arthur's voice brooked no argument.

"Certainly, but I did not know that you had an extra knight." The bishop climbed into the carriage.

"I don't that's my sister." Arthur answered, "Though she can fight just as well as some men I know. And it's always good to have a healer on your missions."

"What's your name girl?" Bishop Germanus demanded of Isulet.

"Isulet, your holiness and I am twenty nine, I hardly think I qualify as a girl anymore." Isulet calmly walked over to where Gawain was holding Tempest. She smiled her thanks and threw herself over Tempest's back and into the saddle.

As the group moved off Isulet breathed a silent sigh of relief. The aura of death hung heavily over the place where the Britons had been killed. It was heavy and oppressive. Most places Islet went to there was the aura of death. But when more than one person died in battle or an unquiet death the aura was crushing to Isulet. That was another legacy of her physic powers. Arthur pulled his horse back so he was at Isulet's level. He gently reached out a hand and touched Isulet's. Isulet managed a weak smile, though she still felt faint. Her skin had taken on an unnatural colour, making her look drained. She noticed Tempest was slowing, and she was falling behind. She tried to urge him forward, but he just wasn't going. Gawain noticed and pulled his horse in and waited for her. Again she managed a weak smile.

"You look as if you're about to faint." Gawain said, reaching out an arm to steady Isulet.

"Thank you." Isulet tried to sit up a bit straighter, and managed.

"I think your horse has more sense than you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Isulet sat up even straighter, anger blazing in her eyes.

"Nothing, but I suppose you could learn to listen to your body once in a while." Isulet looked at his laughing face and couldn't help but smiling back.

"There, I've won." Gawain suddenly seemed very pleased.

"Won what?" Isulet suddenly seemed suspicious.

"The bet." Gawain seemed uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"What bet? I didn't know there was a bet." Gawain went to move forward, but Isulet held him back, "Gawain?" she asked again a little more gently this time.

"It was Lancelot. He said I couldn't make you smile and he could."

"Well, I think we've both proved him wrong." Isulet smiled at Gawain, who seemed to visibly brighten, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a score to settle with Lancelot." Isulet rode up to Lancelot.

"Lancelot." Isulet very sweetly said.

"Yes?" Lancelot looked sideways at Isulet who was smiling sweetly. Isulet drew in breath to say something, but they had just mounted the hill above their home.

"You know what I'm going to do when I get home?" Bors asked, "I'm going to get so drunk I can't piss straight. Mind you I can never piss straight. It's 'cause I'm so big down there." All the rest of the knights, apart from Arthur joined in at this point, "It's like a baby's arm holding an apple."

"Watch it Bors, there are ladies around if you didn't notice." Tristan said something, which was a miracle in itself.

Isulet smiled, "Thank you Tristan, and don't say you're sorry Bors, because you most certainly aren't."

"Isulet, be careful what you say, I can't keep you out of trouble forever." Arthur looked over at Isulet.

"I know, and it's my job to keep myself out of trouble, not yours." Isulet spurred Tempest down the hill towards the fort. Lancelot caught up with her.

"Isulet, you were going to say something to me." Lancelot looked her up and down.

"Yes, about the bet. I wish you wouldn't keep making them. It's pointless. You know I'm not interested in you, so leave it alone." Isulet locked Lancelot's gaze with her steely one.

"My dear Isulet I don't know what you mean." Lancelot gazed back and smiled at her.

"Don't you dare, my dear Isulet me. I know you're behind all these bets. And I can't spend five minutes with you without you making some suggestion. Give up Lancelot. I'm not interested." Isulet rode up to join the others, Lancelot still following.

"I don't like killing for pleasure." Galahad was saying.

"Once you've had a taste you might grow to like it." Tristan answered.

"What are you most looking forward to when you have your freedom?" Isulet looked around at the group.

"I'm looking forward to finding myself a pretty wife and going home to Sarmatia." Gawain said.

"And if Gawain's wife is as pretty as he says I'll be spending a lot of time at his house; and leave him wondering at his good luck that all his children look like me." Lancelot added.

"Is that before or after I hit you with my axe?" Gawain asked.

"What about you Isulet?" Lancelot asked.

"Me? I'm going to sell my husband's homes and move in with my brother, or stay in Britain."

"Why sell your home?" Galahad asked.

"If you don't remember a lot of bad things happened to me in those houses, and staying in them would just bring the memories back."

"I'm sorry." Galahad looked downcast.

"Don't worry, you weren't to know." Isulet said.

"I remember the night you ran away from him." Bors added, "You looked like a drowned rat, saying you wouldn't go back to him. He had gone too far, he was just taking liberties. The next day he was found dead with a dagger in his back. To this day no one knows who did it."

"Thank you for reminding me Bors. I'm sure I really need to relive that time." Isulet looked slightly paler at the reminder of her husband.

"No man should treat a woman, let alone a lady, the way he treated you." Bors said.

By that time the group had entered the fort. It was typical of a fort near the wall. There were fields outside, with a mud track leading up to the wooden gates. The walls were made of stone to keep unwanted people out. The town itself consisted of a market place, a villa, many taverns and the houses for the workers. The group rode up to the villa and waited until the bishop had got out of the carriage before they dismounted. Isulet walked through the airy pathways until she reached her quarters. The scent of roses filtered through the air as she pulled aside the net curtain. Walking inside she looked around another net curtain and smiled. In her private bathroom her bath was filled with sweet smelling warm water. She stepped out of her dusty travelling clothes and into the bath. She let her eyes drift closed as she relaxed. Then coming up she washed herself in sweet smelling soap. She then did the same procedure for her hair. Then she stepped out and dried herself with a piece of linen. She saw a dress and pulled it on. It was pale blue in the typical roman style. The dress was long, held together by two broaches on the shoulders and two broaches at the elbow. Around her waist was a girdle of gold and silver woven together. Her black hair she brushed and the front pieces she pulled into a bun at the back of her head. Then around her neck she put on a beautiful silver dragon, given to her on her birthday by Gawain. As she walked out onto the veranda attached to her rooms. There she found her brother, sitting on one of the chairs.

"Isulet." Arthur said as he looked around from where he was sitting, "I wanted to talk to you, and you weren't with the men, so I figured you were here."

"Yes, here I am. Now what did you want to talk to me about?" Isulet sat down on a reclining chair and lay down.

"It's about the bishop. He may ask you about your religion, or he may ask me, what should I tell him?" Arthur asked, at a loss for once.

"The truth I should hope."

"But you are a pagan, and though I'm tolerant, the bishop may not be, especially from my sister." Arthur looked really lost.

"Well I can see where you're coming from, but I can't lie. I am what I am brother, no one can change that. Things will work out fine. Just try to get the bishop to ask me, I can deal with him." Isulet gently spoke.

"And I have another thing to talk about. I know you won't like to talk about it, but it can't be avoided, marriage." Isulet visibly stiffened.

"You know how I feel about it, especially after what my husband did to me."

"I know, but you've been single for four years. And you're almost too old to be married. Think on it for me. I'll expect you to be at the dinner tonight." And with that Arthur left.

Isulet gazed at the space where Arthur had left. Then she walked back out to the veranda and collapsed in tears. It had all been Arthur's fault in the first place, her marriage. When she was fifteen Arthur had made her marry her husband. It was alright for the first couple of years. But then her husband started drinking. It started off slowly, first he would get drunk, and then he would start beating her and then he would rape her. Once she had made the mistake of going to Arthur, who talked to her husband, who had just beaten her harder that night, and she never went back to her brother. Her husband would beat her for such small things as getting one small thing wrong, or not doing things quick enough. Then one night things got too bad, and Isulet ran away. It all started off during the day. The Sarmatian knights had visited during the day, and her husband came in. Isulet made the mistake of laughing, and her husband thought she was flirting. That night her husband went to the tavern and got drunk. Then when he came back he started shouting at Isulet, who went towards the door. But her husband got her and hit her harder than ever before, and had taken a knife to her legs and torso. Then, when he had gone back to the tavern Isulet had half crawled, half hauled herself to where her brother was staying. Bors had answered the door, and had called her brother, who had put Isulet to bed and looked after her. Isulet's husband had come round and shouted his head off, but slunk off when Arthur got out Excalibur. A year later her husband had died, and he had no family, as they had all disowned him, so all his possessions went to Isulet. But that was small comfort for what had happened to her. Isulet had hardly any faith in men she didn't know. Also she hated it when men looked at her. It made her feel uncomfortable.

A cough brought Isulet back to the present with a bump. She turned around to see Gawain standing uncomfortably by the entrance. She managed a small smile and stood up. He looked at her concerned, but she just shrugged him off. Walking into the bathroom Isulet looked at herself in the mirror. She saw herself as a pale woman, with haunted red-rimmed eyes. Splashing cold water on her face Isulet felt a little better. Her eyes looked softened by the fact she had been crying, making her seem a little less ethereal. That was why her husband had wanted her; she had looked aloof and ethereal. An idea popped into her head, maybe, just maybe. Isulet looked herself in the eye. She hadn't given her husband any children, so maybe he had been punishing her. Looking back at herself in the mirror she shot herself a smile and walked back out to where Gawain was waiting. She smiled at him, and he offered her his arm.

"We have some time, so why don't we sit down?" Gawain followed Isulet as she walked out into the garden. Isulet took a seat this time, while Gawain took the chair that Arthur had recently vacated. Isulet tipped her head back to catch the sun. When she closed her eyes she looked so serene and peaceful, she looked like the past years hadn't happened. Catching him watching her Isulet smiled her playful smile and looked at him.

"So, why did you come?" Isulet looked appraisingly over Gawain.

"Arthur came down to see us, and he didn't bring you, so we decided to check on you."

"No, you mean you wanted to check on me. I don't need protecting Gawain. I'm more than capable of doing that myself."

"I know, but I'm still worried. It seems like you've been living with ghosts."

"I'm fine, thank you for your concern." Isulet gently rested her hand on top of Gawain's. He got up to go.

"Gawain, I'm sorry I can't tell you, just too much has happened to me." Isulet looked up into Gawain's eyes, "Maybe someday I can."

"Yes, well, I suppose we have to go to dinner now." Gawain offered Isulet his arm.

"Gawain, now don't couples link arms?" Isulet asked, just a hint of mischief in her eyes.

"Well, are we a couple or aren't we?" Gawain asked. There was something between the two of them, though they had just realised it and were exploring the idea.

"Well, maybe we are, maybe we aren't." Isulet walked to the entrance and turned, "Like you said, we'll be late for dinner if we're not careful." This time Isulet took Gawain's offered arm. The two walked through to the dining hall. Just before they entered Isulet gently withdrew her arm.

The dining room was typical. The heavy wooden doors led onto a large room. Around the edges were plain arches, in their simplicity they seemed even more imposing and grand. In the centre was a round table, which had been cast in bronze. There were markings on the table, which was in Latin. Isulet was too worn out to decipher them, and besides, she had done it many times over the four years. Around the walls were brackets in which burning torches were casting out light onto the table, emphasising the burnished surface of the table. The firelight cast an orange glow onto Isulet's hair, which shimmered in the light. She was awed by this room when she first came into it. But as the years passed she got used to it, now it no longer seemed large and grand. Rather it brought back the memories of the good meals they had had around the table.

The memories filtered back to her, her first ever meal in this room, when she was afraid to speak, afraid to be spoken to, and was afraid of the men. Now each of them was as dear to her as her brother one perhaps even closer. Isulet looked up at Gawain and smiled. It seemed now that everything had changed. She now wasn't afraid of every shadow or every dark corner. She had a life. She didn't need a husband. She knew how to fight and protect herself. She needed no one to tell her what to do, or to rule her life. She had tasted freedom and liked it. She sat down and Gawain sat down next to her. The other knights came in and sat down in their usual places. This was how it had been every meal she had had in that room. Everything was so dear to her now. She knew what she would miss; she would miss all the good times they had shared. There were lots of memories of this room, even over the last four years. If someone was to tell her that she could keep them all together like they had been she would have jumped at the chance. But what she didn't want was to serve Rome. Everyone was very clear on that point, Galahad especially. He often told her about it, and how he missed his home with a passion. He was going to go back there whatever happened, unless of course he died. For all of the years he had been with the knights, which was 5 years, he had wanted to return home. Now he was finally going to return home he had cheered up enormously. When he sat down next to her he seemed to be full of energy.

"I'm going home Isulet, after all this time." He looked across at her, while she just nodded.

"Hey, what about us, you're a mere pup next to us." Bors looked across at Galahad.

"Don't ruin his dream Bors." Isulet spoke quietly, but everyone heard her voice.

"I haven't been there since before I joined up." Gawain said, his eyes looking into the past, his home a distant memory.

"Well think, soon we'll be home." Bors said.

"And maybe you'll discover long lost sweethearts." Isulet teased. Her smile betrayed her seriousness.

"I don't think our sweethearts would have waited this long, if we ever had one." Bors said.

"Yes, and I think all yours will have discovered each other by now." Gawain joked. Then all turned as Arthur came in and they rose.

"Your lordship can park his backside where he likes." And with that the bishop entered, closely followed by his assistant.

"Your table is round!" the bishop's assistant exclaimed, obviously put out.

"Arthur says for all men to be equal there can never be a head at his table." The servant who had showed the bishop in and explained. All the knights sat down and the assistant's eyes travelled to Isulet.

"What is a woman doing here?" he asked.

"The same as you, having a meal." Isulet looked him up and down with her icy stare.

"She's the unofficial member of the knights." Arthur smoothly explained.

"Oh, so you were the woman who was at the wagon. I'm surprised, you clean up well." He looked her up and down, blatant desire in his eyes.

"I take it I will need an extra dispensation?" the bishop asked.

"No, you holiness, I don't need one, I was never an official member of the group." Isulet swiftly explained.

"I was thinking over your name, and I realized something. Were you married to my old friend Decimus?" the bishop asked. All the knights drew in a sharp breath at the mention of Isulet's husband.

"Of course I was. But, we parted on rather uncertain terms." She had a rather frail smile on her face.

"Why?" the bishop asked, looking puzzled.

"I'm sure that's none of your business, your holiness." She tried side-stepping the question.

"I think it is." The bishop insisted.

"Oh, believe me it isn't. You see, he wasn't the man you thought he was." The bishop let it drop, as Isulet stared right at him, daring him to say more. Just then a servant came in, bearing gold cups.

After they had all toasted each other the servant's brought the meal. There was venison, chickens and cows, with stuffed dormouse and swan. Isulet didn't eat any of the swan or dormouse, she just didn't like them. She noted with grim satisfaction that the bishop's assistant had nothing to complain about on the food. She had spent many a day in the kitchens, teaching all the things she had learned from her husband's cook. For afters there were seasonal fruits and jams with freshly baked bread. It was all very good. Isulet sent out a silent thank you that the cook had been a good learner and had caught onto the recipes. For if not they would have been in big trouble, with nothing fit for a bishop to eat. When the plates were cleared away the bishop stood up.

"And after that delicious meal I have something to talk about to Arthur." And when the knights didn't leave he said, "Alone."

"We have no secrets her." Gawain argued, but at one look from the bishop, all the knights, Isulet included, filed out of the room, leaving Arthur to talk to the bishop.

Author's note: Wow that was a long chapter. I wondered if I would ever finish it. I don't really care if you don't review, but if you did that would be nice. Thank you for taking the time to read this. More later, if I get good reviews.