A Short Scene From The Simpsons Episode 1: The Simpsons Roasting On an Open Fire
Disclaimer- I do not own any of the rights to The Simpsons series, none of the characters or even the story are owned by me and they never will be.
The coldest day of the winter so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy stillness rested over the large, square residences of Evergreen Terrace. Cars that were typically polished stood snow-covered in their drives and lawns that were once bottle-green were now pearl-white, owing to the latest snowstorm. Deprived of their customary car-washing and lawn-mowing pursuits, the inhabitants of Evergreen Terrace had retreated to the restful warmth of their well-built homes.
Mr & Mrs Simpson of number 742 were running tremendously late for their children's Christmas Pageant and as was predictable the explanation was down to one individual, Mr Homer Jay Simpson. Mrs Simpson stood intolerantly at the foot of the staircase. She was fully clad in a striking purple coat with fake fur lining the shoulders underneath which she wore her beloved carroty dress.
Homer had wasted approximately twenty minutes upstairs and Marges irritation was sharply on the rise. Maggie, the youngest Simpson lay on the carpet struggling to return to her feet, a complicated task due to the uncomfortable star outfit that her mother had forced upon her. Marge glimpsed into the dining room at the old grandfather clock and it was nearing seven-thirty. She determinedly decided that she would no longer delay her departure and began to ascend the stairs.
"For pity's sake Homer, what's the hold-up?" she yelled as she drew near the top. The degrading noise of Homer struggling crossly in their bedroom reached her ears while she treaded towards the door. She peered inside to spot her husband sprawled across their bed and desperately trying to heave his pants on. Judging from the casual expression which Marge had now assumed, it could be concluded that this particular crisis had arisen numerous times before.
"One size fits all, my butt!" he barked as he continued to thrash around, wrestling foolishly with his denims. Marge observed her husband with understanding sympathy; he had gained masses of weight since the day they wed. "Look Homer, I really don't mind taking the car and going by myself, I can sit with Ned and Mau-"
"I'M COMING MARGE! JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE SHEEESH" he roared as he continued to yank on his stretching pants with additional strength. They gradually began to fit. Homer would not agree to Marge going on her own because he knew exactly what 'Perfect Flanders' would think, and it worried him.
"Oooho careful Homer" cried Marge as they speedily skidded around the final corner towards the Elementary School. "There's no time to be careful, we're late" he responded sharply as he drew up outside the trashy building. The neighbouring region was sheltered by scenic snow since the snowstorms had been immensely heavy, even for Springfield.
They abandoned the car and rushed towards the entrance hall, idiotically forgetting to close the doors in their haste. In the foyer they ambled past and neglected a notice which draped down close to the 5th grade essays, undoubtedly to give a satisfying impression.
Springfield Elementary School Annual Christmas Pagent 'Four Stars (and a half)'- Springfield Shopper.
The school seemed much less shoddy than it had done during any of the previous years. The once murky halls were now beautifully decorated with countless Christmas decorations and lights. The auditorium was crammed with proud parents as they entered, Marge noticed two unoccupied seats near the centre and shepherded Homer towards them. A group of approximately 20 first-grade students were singing on the extravagantly embellished stage, a small podium holding a simple wreath sat idly to the side.
"Sorry, s'cuse me, pardon me" said Marge affronted as she squeezed through the seated parents in the direction of the pair of vacant chairs.
Homer on the other hand was offhandedly chatting to each person he was on familiar terms with. "Hey Norman, how's it goin'? So you got dragged down here to huh?" he enquired whilst Marge continued to squash past. "How you doin' Fred? Oops pardon my galoshes hehhehheh" he chuckled as Norman's surprised wife squealed aloud. Homer seized his seat and cursed his poor luck upon realising they sat a measly row behind Ned and Maude Flanders.
The soothing singing continued for a further two minutes before it ended and was followed by a loud round of applause. Principal Seymour Skinner strolled onto the bare stage and headed straight towards the lone podium, his expression seemed engrossed in the show yet his body language boldly stated otherwise.
Principal Skinner was dressed in his usual blue suit, covering his lilac shirt and orange tie. He was widely renowned in Springfield for his difficulties with pronunciation during these events.
"Ha ha wasn't that wonderful? And now Santas of... many...lands, as presented by the entire second grade class" he announced merrily.
He applauded loudly as the students promptly left the stage. Marge's eyes widened with pride, "oh second grade? Lisa's class" she whispered to Homer whilst he nodded with a broad smile. A girl just about Lisas age strode onto the stage, dressed in a delightful Santa Claus costume. A replica of the planet earth was positioned directly above her on a rather fragile rope and it seemed to be on the verge of falling.
"Frohe Weihnachten, that's German for 'Merry Christmas' in Germany, Santas servant, Ruprect gives presents to good children and whipping rods to the parents of bad ones". The keen audience applauded once again and she bowed off the stage cheerfully.
The next student to appear was Ralph Wiggum, son of Clancy Wiggum, the Chief of the Springfield Police Force. Ralph wore an orange outfit which made Homer giggle aloud; he believed Ralph had come to school in his pyjamas.
"Merii Kurisumasu, I am Hotei-osho, a Japanese priest who acts like Santa Claus, I have eyes on the back of my head, so children better behave when I'm nearby" he turned his back to the audience to display a pair of prank spectacles, taped onto the back of his head. They gasped in surprise once the fake eye fell off but in spite of this they still applauded with strong enthusiasm.
Homer could hear Wiggum, several rows behind him, boasting to the other parents. "That's my Ralphie; he always has been a little prankster you know".
"Pphftt Bart could do that" Homer thought as he watched Ralph stroll off the stage. Next, Mr. Largo, the notoriously stern music teacher, stepped onto the stage gripping a microphone in his right hand. He was an old, balding man, who taught Lisa how to perform fluently with her saxophone.
"Now, presenting Lisa Simpson as Tawonga... the Santa Claus of the south seas" he announced whilst the purple curtains without delay to reveal her.
"Oooh it's Lisa, that's ours" proclaimed Homer, hopeful that Chief Wiggum would take notice.
She appeared to be a chilling cannibal of some nature. She wore a tribal death mask, a pink bra and a primitive straw skirt; in each hand she remarkably held a flaming torch. She danced with poise towards the front of the stage before beginning to juggle the fiery sticks leaving the audience in amazement. She continued to dance to the tribal beat for several seconds prior to falling onto her knees and revealing a smooth, unblemished face.
Lisa was a beautiful eight year old girl, rarely seen without her trademark white pearls. She was exceptionally unique to her school seeing as she had the wackiest hair style and the greatest brainpower.
Skinner returned to the podium, this time he gave the impression of being severely shaken. "The fourth grade will now favour us, with a melody-um...medley ha-ha of holiday favourites" The curtain fell back heavily to expose yet another class of around twenty students.
Dashing through the snow
On a one-horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way ha-ha-ha
Bells on bobtail ring
Making spirits bright-
Marge leant across and spoke to Homer as the song continued superbly. "Isn't Bart sweet Homer? He sings like an angel"
A youthful and wickedly mischievous ten year old boy named Bartholomew Jojo Simpson was indeed singing graciously as his mother had stated. Then again, she would've given second thought upon hearing the actual lyrics which he sung.
"Ohhh, jingle bells Batman smells Robin laid an egg The Bat Mobile broke its wheel The Joker got awa- aaahhh
Bart was grabbed forcibly by the collar and dragged from his position in the choir. Homer cringed heatedly and he regretfully became aware of Flanders, shaking his head filled with judgement. Skinner led Bart backstage in the direction of his teacher, Mrs Krabappel, who leant against the wall blithely smoking a cigarette.
"Edna, you've got to have a severe word with your student, Bart here just fouled the entire melody… um melony uhh song, he ruined the song keep him under control"
"Ha! Keep my students under control? That's ironic coming from a man that can't keep his own mother under control, eh Seymour?" she retorted spitefully before flicking her stub to the side. He shuddered nervously and turned to face her once again.
"Now you leave my mother out of this she-" Skinner was interrupted in mid-sentence by a harsh voice which called out from behind him, it belonged to his elderly mother Agnes Skinner. She stood angrily in the door frame with her arms crossed and growled at Skinner.
"Spanky! You left me sitting alone and now I've come to find you, there will be no stories tonight for you tonight" She turned on her heel and shuffled off. Principal Skinner's eyes widened with panic and he pursued her down the hall. "Please mother no! It was Sleeping Beauty tonight mother! Mother!"
Mrs Krabappel looked down at a smirking Bart. "Can you believe he still wears those pyjamas with the feet?" She enquired before opening her pack and retrieved another cigarette. Bart rolled his eyes sarcastically, "what rock have you been livin' under Mrs K? He responded before strutting away headed for his class which were now returning backstage from their performance.
Homer was now sitting drearily with his head in his sweaty hands; he was becoming uncontrollably restless as Principal Skinner re-emerged on stage, looking rather traumatized. "The fifth grade will now favour us with a scene from 'Charles...uh...Dickens, A Christmas Carol. Homer groaned, bored to tears "how many grades does this school have?"
So what do you think about my writing of this extract from the first Simpson episode? I added additional parts because if I didn't then I would simply be repeating the scene, this way I can include fresh material. Please submit a review thank you, Dazz Cambo.