A/N: Major thanks to Layla Reyne for all her hard beta work on this, and for making it readable. If you haven't read her A2A stories or any other of her brilliant ones, you definitely should!
This is written for the LJ A2A Delena Holiday Exchange hosted by BadBoysAreBest to the following prompt from Mirna (sauriemilia):
For reasons unknown Damon and Elena drifted apart and haven't seen each other in years. Fate or chance brought them back together on Christmas Eve in the most unexpected place of all, the Barbie isle in Toys R Us. (The entire story does not have to take place there and you would make me very happy if it was AH).
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Title is from the beautiful Christmas song of the same name by Smith & Burrows. Because of that, the story's also set in London. I hold no rights to the places mentioned either.
When the Thames Froze
Damon Salvatore kept glancing down at his watch. The taxi that was supposed to bring him to that damned store before it closed was driving achingly slow over the icy London streets, and he was starting to fear that he wouldn't make it there in time.
Normally he couldn't have been bothered with the twenty-minute drive from his Hyde Park apartment to Southwark, but he was going to see his nephew in the flesh again for the first time in two years and he had promised him this stupid game. Problem was that after checking all of the toy stores in his neighborhood, it turned out that this game was apparently quite popular and was sold out everywhere close-by.
When the car finally stopped at the too crowded parking lot of the supersized Toys 'R' Us he threw a ten pound bill at the driver and rushed out of the car, not even hearing the guy call "and a Happy Christmas to you, sir" after him.
He hurried to the store's entrance, his head held low so that the collar of his coat would cover his ears, and his hands shoved deep into his pockets to provide him a little warmth. It didn't do much good, though. The snow was coming down in a frenzy and the wind blowing across the sleet covered asphalt was making it feel even colder outside than it really was. It had been that way for weeks now and it seemed like it was going to be one of the coldest winters London had seen in decades.
Once inside the toy store, Damon brushed the snow off of his black wool winter coat and started looking for the aisle with the computer games. The stressed out parents and cheerful Christmas tunes playing over the speakers already had his nerves on edge within five minutes after entering. No way in hell was he letting this store keep him from his warm apartment and his whisky any longer than strictly necessary.
"Mum, when the ice is thick enough can I try out my new skates then?"
"Sure, dear. If this cold keeps up they say we can finally skate on the river again around New Years."
The innocent conversation of the little girl that passed by him with her parents made Damon's stoic façade crumble. A cherished memory of a woman across the pond, one who'd loved ice skating just as much as he did and always regretted how the rivers in their home state of Virginia, never froze over, came to mind.
But he didn't want to think of her tonight.
Of course his mind was of another opinion. He just couldn't deny how the fact that he was moving back home for good tomorrow had made him think more about her than he had over the last couple of years. After being apart for seven years he could finally honestly admit to himself that getting over her - forgetting her - had been way harder than he had ever imagined it would be.
Either way, he knew that right now there was little he could do about that. Through the years he could've made an attempt to contact her again, he knew that, but she had her own life now and he didn't want to be the one to mess that up. He could've admitted that he had been wrong all those years ago, but that would have meant sacrificing his pride. And if there was one thing Damon Salvatore didn't do easily, it was confessing his faults. It was still odd to realize how he could've hurt someone so deeply with just his words. In the hard business world he would take advantage of that every now and then, but when his heart – and hers - had been on the line, it had left real wounds and that was something he'd tried desperately to forget.
Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he realized he had finally made it to the correct aisle. Grabbing the game he came for, one of only two left on the shelf, he tried to find the least crowded path to the row of check out registers in the front of the store.
Feeling completely out of place in his all-black outfit, Damon hurriedly walked through the almost empty Barbie aisle that he'd picked as his escape route. He was definitely regretting not bringing his sunglasses because all the bright pink was hurting his eyes. Focussing on the exit, he hardly even noticed the figure that was standing up from her crouch near a bottom shelf when he walked by.
Before he could reach the end of the pink road through hell, however, he felt a tugging on his arm. He was too focused on getting home to be annoyed by the interruption and he was still too absorbed in his thoughts to really react to whomever it was that wanted his attention.
That all changed once he turned around.
Could it be possible that people actually appeared if only you thought about them long enough, hard enough? Had he been thinking about Elena Gilbert that much while wandering through this store that she somehow materialized from his unconscious right in front of him? He knew magical things like that didn't happen. Not even on Christmas Eve. But here she was, very real and very close.
"Damon?" she softly inquired, looking over his features. "It really is you. I couldn't believe it. I saw you walk by, and just had to know for sure. I didn't mean to startle you."
By then his breathing had somewhat returned to normal and he figured that her last remark was because of his utter silence and the way he was probably gawking at her as if he had just seen the three ghosts of Christmas all at once.
But she wasn't a ghost and she wouldn't fade into nothingness if he opened his mouth.
Firmly planting his signature smirk in place, Damon looked at what she was holding tightly in her hands. "I'm alright, Elena, just never expected you to still be playing with Barbies at your age. You surprised me with that. And Mexican Barbie, holding a Chihuahua? I truly believed you were always against the stereotypical portrayal of women everywhere."
"Umm," she responded. "It's for my daughter. She collects these Dolls of the World and this was one of the rare ones that she didn't have yet. I wanted to give her something very special this Christmas, and this store was the only one that still had one in stock."
At the mention of her daughter, he recoiled a little. He knew that she had married Matt Donovan, and both Stefan and Caroline, although they hardly ever talked about her on his request, had told him that she got the baby she had always wanted. He knew about the girl, it was just that hearing her mention her daughter made it all so much more real. And it made him even more desperate to keep up the act of not being totally overwhelmed by her sudden appearance.
"Well, seems like this store turned out to be the savior for both of us tonight," he responded, waving the plastic, rectangular box in the air, trying to keep the mood light, and his emotions in check.
She smiled at that. "Well you're one to talk, Damon. First accusing me of still playing with dolls when you probably cannot wait to go home and play with your LEGO Marvel Super Heroes."
"Hey," he spluttered. "What guy doesn't like the opportunity to be a super hero once in a while? And LEGOs are just cool. But no worries, this one's going to stay neatly wrapped and goes with me on a plane to the US tomorrow. Gotta make sure that Vince gets at least one awesome gift besides all of the 'responsible' ones that his parents are gonna give him."
The little jab at her best friend's endless attempt to be the best parent in the world made Elena grin, but his plans for Christmas seemed to surprise her. "You're going back home tomorrow?" she asked. "Just for the Holidays or are you gonna have a little vacation after that?"
"Nope, more like a very long work relocation," he replied enthusiastically. "My company has decided to open a new branch in Richmond and they've named me their new CFO. So I'm moving back home, and you should actually be glad with this twist of fate meeting because now you can prepare for running into my charming self more often."
"I'm afraid that's not gonna happen, Mister Charming," she replied with a bit of a bittersweet smile. "Grace and I moved to London last week. You probably already know this, but Caroline opened one of her art galleries here. I'm running it for her."
"Wow, that's a big step, Elena. But since Matt didn't come with you, I'm assuming you're only here to get the gallery up and running and then you'll be moving back home, right?"
"No, it's indefinite. Jeremy moved with me to help Grace and me get settled. He's also staying with us at our new apartment at the moment, but once he leaves we'll be the only two staying there. Matt and I got divorced last year, and I just really needed a fresh start to get away from everything and everyone that reminded me of my old life."
"And Matt was okay with you moving his daughter to the other side of the Atlantic just like that?"
She sighed. "It's complicated, Damon, but I really don't want to talk about that right here, right now. And not with you."
At that, as if she'd waited for a break in his and Elena's conversation, a shop assistant suddenly interrupted, kindly asking them to make their way to the registers because the shop was closing within the next couple of minutes.
Startled by the brusque way that Elena had brushed the subject of her failed marriage aside, Damon had followed Elena to the check-out registers and the exit. Since neither one of them had given any thought to how to get home, they were now both standing outside in the empty parking lot with dumbfounded expression on their faces as the store lights quickly died, making the black sky appear even darker against the rapidly falling snow.
Damon couldn't help but laugh when he heard the petite brunette beside him mutter some fierce curse words under her breath, reminding him of the temper that he had always loved so much about her.
"Elena, can I buy you a drink?" he asked, grabbing her elbow to help her walk while at the same time fumbling with her cell phone.
"A drink?"
"Yeah, when the taxi brought me here, I noticed that we passed a big pub, about a five minute walk from here. It's Christmas Eve, Elena. If we call for a taxi now, we'll turn into Mr. and Mrs. Frosty by the time it arrives. Better to sit in a warm pub and have a drink while waiting for our ride. Maybe catch up a little."
She seemed unsure for a bit, but when the next gust of icy wind made her shiver in her boots, she pulled her hat a little tighter over her ears and accepted his offered arm.
They walked in silence for a moment, trying to avoid the slippery patches of ice on the sidewalk and simply taking comfort in each other's warmth. It was nice and it made Damon realize that he didn't know of anyone else that he could be with and not feel the need for discussion.
When they stopped in front of a nice looking pub called the 'Thomas A Becket' he saw a smile light up her face.
"Oh, I love this Damon. My first visit to an English pub, and it not only looks like I've always imagined them to look with all the dark wood and the pillars and the segmented windows, but it also has such a great name. I remember reading The Canterbury Tales in college. This is great!"
Happy that she agreed to his plan, Damon stepped in through the open door, noting immediately that the warmth coming from inside did nothing to replace the missing heat of her arm through his and her body against his side.
Since most people were probably spending time at home with their families, or hadn't dared to venture out into the frightful weather, it was relatively easy to find a place to sit. Once Elena got settled on a comfy black leather couch in the back, it was decided that she would try to get them a cab while Damon made his way over to the bar to get them some drinks.
"You still a red wine girl?" he asked.
"Nah, I'm assuming you'll be having some great whisky, so if you don't mind I would rather have the same as you're having," she shyly smiled up at him.
"A whisky, huh. Since when are you a whisky drinker?"
The sudden sharp but sad look in her eyes let the unspoken answer ring loudly between them.
'Since you left.'
When Damon came back from the bar and sat down on the other end of the couch, he was again struck by the fact that he was actually having a drink on Christmas Eve with Elena Gilbert. If anyone would've predicted that outcome when he got into the taxi earlier that evening, Damon would hire that person as his new stockbroker, because he could certainly use someone clairvoyant like that.
To his horror he found himself at a very uncharactaristic loss for words. The only thing he could think of to break the silence that hung between them, was to set his pride aside an give her the long overdue apology that he owed her.
"I'm sorry, Elena."
"About what?"
He took a long drink. "You know about what. I'm sorry for not understanding you. For not wanting to understand you. I'm sorry that I didn't try harder to see things your way, to listen to your wishes. I'm sorry that I became so cold and distanced when all you needed was someone close that you could depend upon. I'm sorry for ridiculing your dream of having kids and a family and the traditional white picket fence life, and for leaving you to chase my own dreams and giving you no place in them."
There was no immediate reply. For a second, he thought his whole sudden heartfelt apology was horribly in vain and a flash of anger threatened to surface. After all, he had just poured out his soul to her. The least she could do was acknowledge it. But nothing.
Then he noticed the tears in her eyes, shimmering in the constant changing lights of the pub's bar. Her silence was not a failure to accept his apology; it was pure astonishment. She was shocked.
It seemed to be hours before she spoke again.
"Damon," she whispered, eyes burning into his, making him squirm uncomfortably beside her.
"It seems it's my turn to say something, too," she continued. "When I agreed to come here with you tonight, it was not my intention to uproot the past or ask for an explanation. I know my stubbornness - not wanting to give up my dreams of a future all those year ago - also hurt you, but it was a very emotional time for me. And you were so sure that we absolutely had to wait until we both had time to start our careers and that we wouldn't be ready for the family stuff until we were at least thirty. I couldn't win and you wouldn't see things my way, so I had to let you go. Set you free. Let you be happy."
He interrupted her with the slow raise of his hand, scooting closer and staring fiercely into her eyes. He spoke softly, touching his fingers to her cheeks, sending a visible shiver through her frame.
"I tried to be happy, Elena. I convinced myself that letting you live the life you wanted would be enough to make me happy, but it never really was. I was just too stubborn to admit that I missed you and was determined to make the best out of a life away from you. I never stopped missing you, though."
"I never stopped missing you either, Damon."
His fingers started a mindless path down her face. Tangible strokes caressing her skin, his thumb moving over her lips. He smiled at her. "This is the first time I've touched you in seven years, and I cannot believe you still feel the same."
"On the outside perhaps, but I've changed, more than you know" She trembled against his fingertips but didn't move away from his stare.
A breath left his lungs when her mouth moved against his thumb. "Have you?" he asked, trying to hid his reaction.
"Yes."
"How?"
"I've become a wife, become a mother, picked up my art study again, got divorced – just to name a few. All of those things change a person, Damon"
"It depends," he said, finally withdrawing his hand. "Of course those things change your perspective of the world, and I have no doubt your daughter is the most important person in your life, but I know that somewhere inside you, that wild, fierce and loyal woman that I fell in love with is still hidden."
She visibly blanched at the sudden passion she no doubt saw in his blue eyes and quickly took a drink to hide her shudder, but her trembling hands made the glass unsteady and a bit of whisky sloshed over the side and trailed down her lips and over her chin.
When she reached a hand out for her purse to find a tissue, he put a hand on her wrist to stop her.
"Let me."
Before she could protest, Damon leaned forward, took her face in both of his hands and let his tongue teasingly follow the trail up her chin and over her mouth.
Her lips were warm against his and he couldn't help the moan that escaped him. An inner voice screamed at him to let her go, but her hands reaching for his shoulders, clutching him to her, and her tongue slowly gliding along his, told him that she had no desire to push him off of her.
Knowing that she would not struggle, Damon let his hands travel down to rest on her hips, pulling her closer to him, until she rested firmly in the corner of the couch and his full upper body was against hers, shielding her from the world.
He felt her grip him tightly, as overwhelmed with the power of the kiss and the old flame that sparked back to life, as he was. Hunger coursed through him and her response caused him to lose all his willpower to do anything but kiss her and be as close to her as possible.
A sudden loud honk from outside made him tear his mouth away with a ragged breath and a noise of complaint from hers. His right hand found her face again, caressing her softly as she sat there pressed firmly against him, brown eyes locked with his. They shared a long, desperate look before he couldn't help himself and lowered his head one more time to nuzzle against her neck.
"Elena," he whispered into her skin. "Taxi's here."
After a drive in tense silence, the taxi finally stopped in front of his apartment, and Damon asked the driver to wait as he tugged Elena with him onto the sidewalk.
"So, what happens now, Elena?"
He heard her let out a breath while she gazed passed him through the flurries of snow. "I don't know," she admitted. "Life really showed us tonight that it can be so unpredictable. I think it may be best if I just drive away from you, return to my life and pretend that this didn't happen. But … "
Her hesitation made him step forward and grasp her chin, holding her in place. "But?"
The intensity of her eyes was almost too much for him, but he met them with as much honesty as he had ever managed to show her.
With quivering lips and tears threatening to strike in her eyes, she answered him. "But I would always know that it's not what I truly want."
Slowly, he raised her hand to his mouth and pressed his lips against her fingers, their gazes still locked. "I still love you, Elena. Some may call me a hard businessman that lacks human emotion, but you must know that whatever I know about love is what you once taught me. Leaving you, I lost that."
"How can I respond to that?" she finally questioned.
"Maybe by telling me that you never stopped loving me either?"
"I haven't."
Her admission and the tears in her eyes made him clutch her tightly, hearing her whimper while she buried her face in his neck.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled against his ear. "I do still love you. Please believe that, but despite my wants and my needs, I can't do this."
"Why not?"
She pulled away, gazing up at him. "Because sometimes love is not enough to risk it all. You once were my whole life and you took that away. But I survived and I came out stronger. There are things that loving you did to me that I could never tell you, things that ultimately destroyed my marriage, but I will overcome that, too. I will probably be forever condemned for loving you, but I think Fate also showed us tonight that we were perhaps never meant to be. The minute we are brought together we are both pushed to another side of the world again, like similar poles of magnets."
He looked at her. Her dark hair swirling around her head, mixing with the snowflakes, her cheeks red with cold and her eyes shining with tears that he was the cause of – again. She looked like poetry come to life, and Damon knew he couldn't and shouldn't look at her any longer and torture himself and her more.
"So this is goodbye then?"
"It is. I truly am sorry," she said while turning, opening the door of the waiting taxi and getting in. "I wish you all the best in the world, Damon, but you and I ended a long time ago and I believe it's not meant to be. At least not now."
Before he could say anything further, the car took off. This time taking her away from him.
Damon watched her go with an overwhelming pain engulfing his entire being. Not even knowing that, on New Years Day, when the Thames froze over for the first time in over forty years, Elena and a six year old girl with his blue eyes would be skating and laughing, enjoying their new lives an ocean away from him.
A/N: Thank you for reading. Reviews are appreciated.