Chapter 1: Unknown you

POV Katniss

He tries to get up as silently as possible.

But I hear him.

I hear him every night, like he hears me.

I know him.

Even when I am not yet awake, I feel his absence beside me.

He never talks about it, but I know he won't let me to follow him.

He doesn't want me to see him like this and I don't remind him that I have already.

Even when it's not his fault,he will never forget what happened in the past.

He returns silent to the bed.

Each time he lays down far away from me.

Each time I slide closer to him after a while.

My hand strokes softly over his chest and stops over his heart.

There is no need to say anything.

I just want him to feel that I'm here.

I don't want him to be scared.

Scared of himself.

Scared that his dreams might become reality.

„My leg was bruised and my body was covered with mud, over and over. You were embarrassed to see me naked. Real or not real?" I hear the smirk in his voice.

„Real! I was confused that it didn't bother you in anyway!"

My fingers run over the scars on his chest. „But you have seen naked men before."

I have seen wounded, naked men who needed the medical treatment from my mother.

And I have always left the house.

I didn't want to see them.

Any shame became less important.

All their intimacy layed open and brushed aside like the blood on their bodies.

But they were still patients.

Maybe Peeta was this too, when he was lying in the river with his pus-filled leg.

But he was still Peeta. The boy who had saved me in every possible way.

„Well, maybe you were the most beautiful naked man I have ever seen." Peeta laughs low and kisses my forehead.

„Liar!"

Finally he lays his arms around me and our legs knot automatically. „At least I got over my shame...".

And at this moment we forget who we are, for a short while.

That we are survivors of the Hunger Games.

That almost everybody we loved is dead.

That we killed people.

That we are children who lost their innocence, long before they were grown up.

At this moment we are only Peeta and Katniss.

Everything I feel and think is him.

His lips, his hands, his warm skin on my skin.

We turn to face each other as he gently pushes among my legs. His hands take off my nightdress and we both pause, appalled.

Peeta peers at me with big eyes, as such a happy sound gets out of his throat. I haven't heard anything like it in the last year, last decade.

He places his hands around my swollen belly and I begin to cry.

A hello from inside.

A hello to the world.

The cruel world, in which I will give birth to the tiny creature composed of Peeta and myself.

„Katniss, is everything alright? Are you in pain?" Worried, he tries to catch my gaze, while his hands still fondle my belly.

I'm struggling for air, when it moves again.

The anxiety overwhelms me and I ask myself how we could be so foolish.

In less than four months I will birth a child into a world which was build on death and war.

What are four months, when I look back on the last 17 years? 17 years ago I would have given my life for Prim.

But nontheless I couldn't avoid her death.

And now I would do it again.

I would give everything for the unknown inside of me.

Peeta meanwhile rocks me gently back and forth.

He understoods well enough without words.

„She seems to be strong", he whispers. „Like her mommy."

I lay my hands diffident on my belly. „She?" I clear my throat and release my voice of the tears. „She tries to give us a sign, that we brought this upon her, just because of sex."

Carefull I push my fingertips into my belly and get a quick answer.

Peeta doesn't try to hide his happiness and I don't know if I get caught up his mood or if it's because the dance of the baby inside of me.

„Did you say, only sex", Peeta asked grinning and kissed me. I return his kiss, smiling, and pull him softly on his back.

I tell him that I love him. And this time we don't stop.